Sometimes I'm serious.

THE LORD'S PRAYER WITH COMMENTARY

Our Father, who art in heaven…

If there is one, which I see no evidence for

Hallowed be thy name…

But people call you by thousands of different names.  They can’t all be right!  Oh well.

Thy kingdom come…

Unless you keep us waiting two thousand more years.

Thy will be done...

Except for it is unclear what you want people to do specifically.

On Earth as it is in heaven…

But we don’t know what heaven is like.  So we’ll just stick to how it’s done on Earth.

Give us this day, our daily bread…

Call me selfish, I want more than one more day.  And I want to eat more than just bread.

And forgive us our trespasses…

I think I’m innocent on this one.  I don’t go places I don’t belong.

As we forgive those who trespass against us…

Cool, nobody breaks into my place.

And lead us not into temptation…

Duh!  What kind of God would tempt mortals with evil? 

But deliver us from every evil…

Funny, I’ve never heard of anyone avoiding all evil.

For thine is the kingdom…

Well, if it actually exists.

And the power…

Except for everywhere I’ve been.

And the glory…

Why does God need human praise?

Forever and ever…

Seems like a long time.

Amen

Shit, I’m glad that’s over.