Sometimes I'm serious.


Am I asking the right questions?

It seems like this is a fine first effort, but probably not the best question to ask.  I hope my other questions provide more meaning or entertainment.

What should I spend my time doing?

Whatever I want as much as possible.  Based on past experiences, this seems to be sleeping, working, and eating for the most part.


Who farted?

Probably everyone at some point.


Why is there so much suffering in the world?

People want what they can’t have.  Pain is frequent.  We all have to die.  Terrible people seem to live well.  Noble people seem to suffer.  Our realities aren't as good as we hope at all times.   


Why do we have to die?

Because our bodies stop functioning.  Maybe a new round of people will do better than us.


What is the meaning of life?

There is no obvious one.  So make one up!  But just don't be whatever you were told you had to be your whole life.  Have the courage to invent your own path, spirituality, or tax free church if need be.


What is the right thing to do?

I don't think anyone always knows.  Try to live well while you can.  Try to help others live well if you are in the position to do so.  You are probably on the right track if you can afford to go to the movies without worrying.


Who am I?

You are a changing human, gradually dying.  You probably have a few silly fears, funny traits, and irrational thoughts.  You have probably done a few things you enjoyed and even more you're incredibly ashamed about.


What is the nature of reality?

Reality is often mysterious.  The universe is too big to fully understand.  But it still amazes you and others how little you personally know.


When will I die?

Later if I am fortunate, sooner if I eat fried chili-cheese stuff.


Where did we come from?

Our mother’s wombs, test tubes, or some cool sci-fi scene.


Why are we here?

It depends on who we are and what we're striving to achieve.   It's possible that none of us have any purpose, other than ones we create.  Or maybe you are specifically alive to make admirable advances in the field of tiger training.

How can we be happy?

There are a lot of theories.  Some of them seem contradictory.   A deep thinker may require constant re-examination of their goals and striving to achieve personal development for self and others.  A less than bright person might be okay with eating cookies and passing out on the couch while watching funny cartoons.

What's next?

Hopefully clearer and funnier answers to the most pressing questions of life.

What's the most embarrassing question I've ever been asked?

How did you do such a terrible job of cleaning up dog shit?


How do you make so little money and live?


Do you know that just because this is an all you can eat buffet it doesn't mean that you have to actually eat all that you can?

What is the best question I've ever been asked?

Is that your underwear in my birthday cake?

What happens after we die?

Your corpse rots away.  The few people who knew you will mostly forget about you and watch a lot of TV.