Sometimes I'm serious.

FUNNY POEMS

Convention Convention

Yeah I’ve heard that yours is impressive

I didn’t realize that much could be made

You must be happy with that

No, I’m not seeing anyone right now

My portfolio is a little light right now

That’s how you make it

Your cars are so nice

Your house is so big

Must be nice to have a pool

Already have insurance thanks

That white picket fence is so lovely

Those kids are so good at everything

Can’t say I’ve had that before

I haven’t been there

I haven’t done that

All I have to do is keep at it

And all this can be mine

Someday I’m sure I’ll be successful

Someday I’ll get there too

Thanks for everything

Whispered under breath- “Thanks for nothing.”

STUPID CRIMINALS, STUPID LAW ENFORCEMENT

While in the middle of robbing a liquor store

Joe B. set his gun down at the register

While he went to get some Cheetos 

The clerk picked up the gun

Called the police

Police officials arrested Beal

15 minutes later

Ten cops in Hicksville, South Carolina

Were reprimanded for placing bets on

Who could eat a sandwich

With the largest amount

Of Police pepper spray on it

IMMATURE FOLKS

Adults who still act like kids

Suburban parents who try to fit in

With their kid’s high school buddies

Forty something women who get trashed

At dance clubs and go for twenty something guys

Senior citizens who toilet paper houses

Older gentleman with younger sexual partners

Who clearly hate every moment they spend

With their young ladies friends

BRIEF CHUCKLES

High school prepares youths

To complete mindless tasks

For no obvious reason

For the rest of their lives

High school gives kids the chance

To practice doing what they want as adults

Which often appears to be

Getting drunk and laid

Looking to others for answers

About my own life wasn’t wise

But at least I can say

I learned a few billion things

That didn’t work

I don’t want to die

But living past the age of 130

Might lead to me wishing for death