Sometimes I'm serious.




This is the final original song

Every possible song has been done

No more original songs after this song

All the words of the language are gone


Can’t write about love

Can’t write about war

Can’t write about sex

Can’t write about doors


Every word and every theme

Every single movie scene


They’ve all had a tune

They’ve all had some words


The time has come

For seconds and thirds


Nothing new left to say

People try anyway


It is a shame they’ll fail

Every new song’s bound to fail


Every new song’s bound to fail

Beach MEN


The girls all hit the beach now


They all look really good


Well, not literally all of them


They don’t all give me wood


I’ll make sure my girl’s pretty


Give the dogs to my buds


Tell them cute girls are taken


They can have all the duds


My friends can have all the duds


I don’t want them no how


They make me cringe real bad


My buds can have the cows




Got the Ohio Blues

It’s been real bad

Can’t shake Ohio Blues

This whole state’s so sad


Been stuck in old Columbus

Stuck on Broad and High

Didn’t get no money

No matter how hard I tried


Been stuck in Downtown Cleveland

Couldn’t get no work

Out of work like many men

Tossed me out like a jerk


Been stuck in Cincinnati

Trying to make some bread

Folks there so Conservative

It’s like they already dead


Been stuck in boring Dayton

I had nothing at all

Glad to get the hell out

Lame urban strip mall


Getting tired of it all

So sick of Buckeyemania

Definitely ain’t perfect here but

Way better than Pennsylvania


Sittin’ here doin’ nothin’

Ramblin’ on I wish again

Well at least I can thank God

I ain’t stuck in Michigan



They say mother Mary was a virgin

Holy, chaste, and pure


But I have to wonder who

Jesus’ father is for sure


The Holy Spirit impregnated Mary

But I thought that was same as God


And I thought that God was Jesus

It all seems a little odd


He’s his own grandpa!

Jesus is his own grandpa!


Now I know that it’s amazing

But there’s nothing God can’t do


He’s his own grandpa



Loyal American


Pay your taxes

Vote for leaders

Go to church

Wave your flag

Support the troops

Marry hetero

Raise nice children

Own a home

Get a job

Work overtime



Obey your boss

Obey your priest

Obey your bank

Obey the law

Obey the court

Obey the cops

Obey the rich

Obey the right


And you’ll be okay


Hate the unemployed

Hate the atheists

Hate the broke

Hate the lawless

Hate the rule breakers

Hate the criminals

Hate the poor

Hate the left


And really hate the gays


Be a loyal American

Serve the USA


Be a Loyal American

Serve the USA






I feel so happy

My life is really swell


I got a ton of money

I’ve got my own Taco Bell


But that wasn’t sad!  That was the opposite of sad.


Yeah, but it makes me feel pretty good.  That’s what the blues are for.


I thought the blues were supposed to be sad.  Hence the reason they are called the blues.


I don’t see it that way.  Dig this:


My life is super awesome

Everything is just great


I got tons of women

That I can always date


Nothing could be better

Than the life I got right now


I’m so busy loving

And I’ll always know how


The greatest song in the existence of humanity take 1


I want to write the greatest song

One that will blow your minds

The one that will make me rich and famous

The greatest tune of all time

One that will give to the people

A noble reason to live

The tune that can make life amazing

For all that hear its joy


Come taste the fruit of the musical labor

That the mind can create and love

Let the music flow and feel good

Make the body and mind glow

Dig the best there is and live now

Like you never have before

The best things in life will come to you

Just by hearing this song!



OK, that might not be the greatest despite my oh so noble attempt.  Yet another experiment where I find that just because I thought of something that alone didn’t necessarily make it of high quality- or even regular quality in this case.  Now try to write the worst song in the world


Hey there disco angel

I love your groovy wings

Your hair is hot like fire

It makes me want to sing!


You are smoking’ and I am too

Let’s go and shake it down

Disco dancin’ can’t be beat

Anywhere in town


I know my jock is large and you want it now

I’ll let you have it baby

But wait until we’re away from the public

I like getting nasty while alone


Make it now we’re gonna be on

For a disco time

Moving into your heart again

Better than being a boy

Life Questions


(Talking Heads style tune)


What can I do?

The world’s too big


What can I do?

I’m only me


Who should I be?

I never know.


Who should I be?

Nobody knows


When will I die?


I do not know.


When will I die?


I’ll never know.


Where should I go?


I do not know.


Where should I go?


Where is the best?


Why am I here?


I do not know.


Why am I here?


I have to go.


Stop writing crappy songs

The world has quite enough

There’s tons of shit right now

Don’t need your bullshit stuff


Can’t write a simple song

Not even good enough for punk

Stop singing stupid words

Shut up, go get drunk


Now you may go to hell

Even though it’s not real

Please just quit now, you suck

You’ll never get a deal


Blow up your guitar

You could do something else



Make a song


Write some lines

With clever lyrics


Sing real fine

So someone hears it


Find a tune

And make it snappy


Play it soon

Make people happy


Start with riffs

See what you do


Quite a gift

To sound like you


Put some words

To sweet music


Ditch the turds

Don’t you be sick


Feel power

Be like a God


It’s the hour

You’ll be awed


Rock like stars

Or even better


Play guitars

Never settle


On a song

That’s really bad


That is wrong

Makes people mad


If you suck

Who can blame them?


With some luck

You’ll be famous


Sing that tune

Do all that you can


Beat Keith Moon

Be hardcore man


Shout it loud

Loud as you can

Be real proud

Like a Ger-man


Make sure it

Is not too long


They hate shit

That’s way too long


End it now

The final bow


Not sure how

Really right now!

Random One Liners Song               


It’s extremely difficult to separate personal beliefs from facts about reality.


Getting the best things in life requires talent and stamina. 


Families: Some are great, others are terrible.


It’s hilarious to laugh at people who take themselves too seriously


And kind of sad to observe people who don’t take themselves seriously at all.


Studying the masters of any trade can be helpful. 


But unless one aims for exact imitation, they have to attempt to create on their own. 


Why should I believe the news when the real world is better than the one created on TV?


We may cause unintentional harm to others no matter how hard we try not to. 


A proper balance between serving and savoring must be found to live well.


Powerful people always find ways to exploit those who aren’t clever. 


No person is perfect.  Those who claim to be are the most arrogant fools in the universe.


Confusion is the hallmark of a deep, yet uncommitted thinker.

Trusting the self to become a better person is vital to allow change.

It’s unlikely that anyone intends to live a life of misery.

It’s nearly impossible to understand a reality that one has never experienced. 

Every hero can be shot full of holes.




You might not be great

You might not be good

You might suck

Worse than anyone


But you’ll never know

Until you fail


You have to risk

Looking like a fool


You might be a moron

Or a genius in bloom


Surely by this time I’ve created something that doesn’t suck

I should get busy doing what I believe matters

And get down with people who are amazing

There’s no need to continue living like a shmuck

Get busy and earn your luck 


You’re Gone Tomorrow


You’re gone tomorrow

So you better pay your taxes

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better pay your rent


You’re gone tomorrow

So you better save your money

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better get insurance


You’re gone tomorrow

So you better go to college

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better get a job


You’re gone tomorrow

So you better win big trophies

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better make it big


You’re gone tomorrow

So you better not screw up


You’re gone tomorrow

So you better obey rules


You’re gone tomorrow

So you better forget dreams


You’re gone tomorrow

So you better forget dreams


Jesus- Legend, Liar, Lunatic


Josh McDowell says I have to choose

So I guess I will


Studied the tales of Jesus for years

And I’ve made my decision


Jesus was a legend

Don’t believe he was real


Never seen a guy walk on water

Never seen a guy heal by touching

Never seen a guy rise from the dead


But if there was a Jesus

He was a liar


Prayer doesn’t work- believe me I’ve tried

Hell isn’t real- What a wicked concept

Jesus doesn’t care- just try to prove his power


And if he wasn’t a liar

He was a lunatic


He killed himself to forgive sins

Instead of just forgiving

He’ll send most to hell

For not believing bullshit

He isn’t God

There’s no proof for it


Jesus isn’t Lord

He’s probably a myth

But if not a myth

He’s a shady liar

But if no liar

He’s a zealous loony


So go now

And spread the word!



Second guessing

Kills the artist

Ignore logic

Produce your shit


It may be great

It may suck balls

But at the least

It’s your own shit


There’s greatness

In the art world

You might be it

If you’re legit

So take some chances

Try to be great

You might be it


Or you might make some of the most pointless, trivial, gut-wrenching, vile, putrid, garbage in the history of humanity.


But at least you tried.





I feel kind of lost

I feel kind of down

Don’t know what I’m doing

Trying to look around


Thought that I’d be happy

If I had a wife

Never really found it

Secret to the thing called life


Caught glimpses of beauty

And got some good vibes for sure

Never really saw the point

Of what I was supposed to do

Wish that I’d realized

Mistakes coming from the past

Had no understanding

It all blew by so fast


Conscience constantly burdened

By what I should be doing

Haven’t been at peace

Ever since my mind went wandering


Judging others harshly

Haven’t conquered my own fears

Unsure where to turn for answers

Hope it all ties together

To bring the world and me more love

Doubt has played a big part

In holding up my dreams


Deciding whether to live out loud

Or settle for quiet desperation

We must deal with the stupidity

Of the human race

We must deal with the absurdity

Of existence, time, and space


Just want to find a place

Where I can live the best life I can

Live it up and help out those

Who really want it and really need it

Crazy that I’ve been so stuck

In perceptions of my mind

My sincere hope

Is that I can serve a purpose

Live a noble and happy life

Need to find a balance


The evil I’ve despised in others

Potentially exists in me

Probably always has

Probably always will

Been afraid to fail and afraid to succeed

Afraid to be boring

But afraid to live life fully


Confused about the particulars

Of virtually any human method

If I can’t tell you a simple thing about the universe

How can I tell you how to live?


Lost on my mission

All is temporary on Earth

But I still take it too seriously

How much sense does that make?

Somehow I’ll see

Life is worth living

And we are all going to make it

To a better place


Change happened to the world without my consent

I bet on the sure bet that wasn’t even there

How can I put my faith in anything less than perfect?




Only free if you got money

Then you’ll get a honey

Man, it’s funny


Suckers buying shit they don’t even need

Whole fucking world in misery and greed

Got no money, you ain’t got shit

Bust your ass just to make rent

Stop being stupid, do what counts

Life’s more important than a bank account

But freedom’s lost when you go broke

Funny when you know life’s just a joke


Silly knowing we all die one day anyway

Always living like a man afraid to lose

Sure, rent has to be paid

Doesn’t have to be miserable though




New beginnings make me laugh

How did I end up here anyway?

The slightest bits of what was remains

But just about everything from then is gone

Began to live for what I loved in life

Not what I felt obligated to do to succeed

To make my ____ proud, to make money and sit on my ass

No, I decided that since it was all going to end anyway

Might as well try to do what I really wanted

But it’s a weird call to make

After all, bills must be paid

And TV must be watched

I literally never tried to live my dream

Not sure if it’s practical or pathetic

Probably very much both

So here I am just scribbling thoughts

Hoping it will amount to something, someday, somehow


Although it’s been a good ride

I never thought I’d be where I am now

What I believe

Where I live

How I spend my time

Even how I think

Been given so much by so many but

Missed out on so much I really wanted to do

Lived a good life, had some fun

But never really lived a miracle

A life I never wanted or predicted

I know I have to change to make it better

But don’t know what to change into

Guess I’ll have to take a shot and hope for the best

To live well


Can you take death off my tab?


It means nothing

To be alive today

You’ll be gone soon

And you know it

Death is going to come

Nothing you can do

So just say fuck it all

Do just what you want to


Fuck it all

Because you’re gonna die

You never had a chance

Boy you’re gonna fry




God won’t you help us?

We need to have some food

There are millions of kids starving

I hope that you are good


God won’t you help me?

I need a place to live

I’m tired of being homeless

And so is my poor kid


God won’t you help me?

I’ve got this bad disease

I don’t want to die from it

God, just help me please?


I keep praying and praying

But nothing ever changes

God are you really listening?

You have not talked in ages


I am still praying

And I got no answer

I guess you just don’t care

At all about my cancer


God maybe you don’t

Really exist at all

Don’t want to waste more time

God’s put up a wall


So humanity is screwed

We are all going to die

Spent my whole life praying

Just to find out God’s a lie


God’s a lie

God’s a lie

God’s a lie


Meaning of life


We live on a planet

That’s one in 8 or 9

In a galaxy much larger

Than any of us have the ability to explore


We live in one galaxy

Among more than we’re able to count at this time


This one small planet we live on

Has over six billion humans

And many more other life forms

Knowledge about the past is incomplete

Knowledge about the present is incomplete

Knowledge about the future doesn’t exist at all


There are millions of theories on what the meaning of life is

And many them are contradictory

Many of them are quite ridiculous


None of them are universally approved by all of humanity

None of them can be proven to be completely accurate

None of them come anywhere close to describing the full truth about the universe


Yet you claim to know the meaning of life

Forgive what you may perceive to be my rudeness

But I don’t believe you’re right

And I don’t think anyone else should either




So many songs


I don’t even know them all


The amount of songs there are


Make me feel small


Sure I’ve written songs


But they’re just a few in a huge bunch


All these songs just won’t leave my brain


They infect it with lots of good stuff


There’s no perfect song


But a lot of songs are good


Then there’s a bunch of crap too


Try not to listen to garbage


People want to love songs


They make life really great


Songs always make life better


They make me forget hate


Love songs, old songs, good songs, bad songs


Death songs, best songs, past songs, long songs


All the songs that people love


All the songs that seem above


Human abilities and human ears


Human titties and human beer


There’s much more I could do


But until I decide


I won’t be doing shit


All these songs drive me insane


Guess I’ll have to be crazy


Cause I can’t stop thinking


About all these wonderful songs!




I love my new life


It’s quite nice


I killed my wife


She was such a bitch


Now I’m rich


It was a cinch


She needed to die and I sent her to hell


I looked around and I killed very well


I sat on the floor looked at the gore


I placed her in mud, drinking her blood


So my life is good


That bitch is dead


I’d kill her again if I could


My life isn’t great


No longer hate


My unholy fate


Kill a whiny bitch


Then you’ll be rich




Japanese join forces with white supremacists in well thought out long term scheme


Why are any of us here?


He will die with his doghouses and they will be sold at a garage sale for fifty bucks.


Reason is more valuable than superstition.


Robert Wadlow was 8’ 11 inches.


There’s a man in Freemont, Arkansas who can blow a bubble bigger than his body.


Freedom is slavery


The Pacification of the lower tribes of the Niger


Everything’s just 99 cents




Learn how to focus thoughts and time


If one refuses they never do anything great


They do things that make no sense


They do things that aren’t sweet


Why not do what you want


Your life’s up to you


The best people live quite well


Life can be quite swell




I am the greatest


I think you all suck


At least compared to me


I pity your garbage


It’s not as good as


My relatively weakest song


I am immortal


You are all dying


God that must really suck


My genius won’t die


Yours won’t blossom


At least not compared to me


I think you all suck


I can’t believe how bad


All of you are compared to me


Why don’t you give up?


You’ll never come close


None of you are as good as me


So just go home now


Take out the shotgun


Blow your brains out


Instead of always losing to me


It is must get tiring


When you know how great I am


You know you’ll never be like me


End your life now


You stupid failure


You will never be as good as me!


I’m bigger than Jesus


I’m bigger than Yahweh


I’m bigger than any fake God you can name


I’m bigger than the Rockies


Or Himalayas


My awesomeness is insane


I’m better than the universe


I can control it


I think you are all inane


So get out of my sight


You are not worthy


Trying to be like me is just vain


Worship and grovel me


But from a distance


I can’t be brought down by you lames


I’m the greatest


I’m the most brilliant


I’m better than everyone in everyone way


Just for forever


Even after I retire


In my name




Everyone else combined is less than the smallest particle of my fingernail I clipped off and threw in the garbage last Tuesday




I sing a simple song


Write some silly words


Sing them out loud


And people go apeshit


Easiest job in the world


All I do is write songs


Well write is a slight


Exaggeration considering


I can’t even read music


I just hum some tune


Some kid named Brijul


Makes it something


The Big Wigs will buy


I’m so lucky


Less talent than you think


That’s okay, I got more

Cash than an oil sheik


Love the way you adore me


Don’t get it, but I’ll take it


I am going to rule the world


Just by making dopey tunes



There are a lot of problems in the world


But there are numerous good things too


Tunes by The Beatles or Jimi Hendrix


Books by clever authors


Movies that are funnier than real life


Comedy that is thoughtful and inspiring


Sex that is mind blowing


Art that is beautiful


Thoughts that seem meaningful


Sports that are fun to watch


Games that are fun to play


Food that is tasty to eat


Clothes that are good to wear


Homes that are nice to live in


Travel to many places and spaces


Literally and in the mind


Life can be quite brilliant


You have to make it so


10. Smells Like Republican Voter- Joe/Chauncey/All Available Cast Members


(Open On: a performance at A Republican meeting.)



Welcome, fellow Republicans.  We have a treat for you tonight!


(cast members imitate the cheerleaders and janitor from the smells like teen spirit video.  Chauncey sings his lyrics to the beat of the opening of Nirvana’s “Smells like Teen Spirit.”)



Load up on guns
Bring your friends
all to Iraq
no need to pretend

To help the poor
We’re self-assured
Never enough
fight terror war


With the liberals it is dangerous
Here we are now
We love Jesus
Family values are contagious
Here we are now

Please pray for us
Wealthy tax cuts

great idea
John McCain is

Our next leader



Many people never achieve their dream


But even more never wake up from their nightmare


Now is the time to give up and join


The rest of humanity in cruel reality


Our species may be so selfish


That no one is influenced by anyone else.


If anyone refuses to participate in struggle


They lose touch with 99% of humanity


Perhaps I seem to have a cruel streak


But it’s only because the pain in the world


Bothers me a great deal


It’s possible that evolution is on pause in many parts of the world


But humanity finds ways to advance


Despite the pathetic nature of billions of its members


Leave the Earth a slightly better place


Even if it is doing so by leaving the Earth


Success is a temporary deceiver


Life is nearly always painful failure


Being depressed can lead to a worse lifestyle


But any adult who has never felt depressed


Clearly has some kind of blinders on.


Anyone who wants a better way of life for themselves


Is likely to face a lot of disappointment


Just accept the world sucks


You’re going to die


And nothing you do has any permanent meaning


Once you are over all that


You’re free to float around


Without any definite purpose in the world


Everyone has the potential to fail you 


There are no perfect people


The people we love and care about most


May let us down


All humans possess abilities to lapse


Into bouts of frustration and anger


Mental powers can be developed


But never fully


A human who reached their full potential


Could to do greater things than feeble minds can comprehend 


But the fully developed human may not be tolerated


In a world of many petty, narrow minded rulers


What joy can come from hurting others? 


Do people value temporary status and possessions


More than their living brothers and sisters? 


It seems most of the world does


“Mind your own business” used to be a great policy 


But in a world full of taxation, extortion, and murder


It isn’t possible 


Mind the business of all people


Who try to ruin lives


Question all people


Many of them may be just as clueless as you are 


A few might even be more so


Violence is a terrible way of life for a family


but almost always a necessary way of life for a nation 


Pacifist cultures have been wiped out 


Unfortunately, life is often dominated by aggressive pricks




When one thinks about


The grand scheme of the universe


They have to see


Everything they’ve ever done


Everything they’ll do


Will mean little to


Nothing in the end


Effort given to failure may


A complete waste of time


Or it can be needed


To learn lessons to improve 


Ultimately, all human effort


Results in failure


Do people value temporary status


More than their temporary


Brothers and sisters? 


It seems as if


Most of the world does




Boiling music genres down to their essences:




Power chords- Kick ass, get laid, party.




Simple riff, 2nd and 4th frets upper strings back and forth


Life sucks.  Music makes it slightly better.




More complex arrangement- something like Coltrane


 Chill the hell out.  Relax.




Repetitive, but tight and danceable- something like Big Pimpin’


 The streets are rough.  Get money and hoes.




E 9, a bass groove run top of the frets


Dance rhythmically to this killer groove.


Country- We’re hicks who haven’t evolved.


Bonanza like


Pop- We make billions from this sappy shit.


Timberlake or Michael Jackson like


Psychedelic- Life is trippy if you open your mind.




Comedy- Laugh at the absurdities of life.


Dare to be stupid


Classical- Impressive technical creations made by humans.


Classico, One, The art of painting

Avant garde- Weird shit can still be played.


Peaches en regalia, Elfman


Theme song- We set cool tunes to this show.


Mash, Hawaii five o, Bond


Metal- I’m angry!   Eat shit motherfuckers!


Ace of Spades,


Evolve the way you believe you should before it’s all too late


Surf- Relax and try to enjoy life.


Endless Summer, Pipeline, Beach Boys- California Girls


Motown-Smooth well crafted pop songs with heart and class.


It’s a Shame, My Girl, Just My Imagination


Soul- Let me bare all  my feelings to you.


Soul Man


Punk- Fuck you, I hate life.


Sex Pistols, Ramones, Clash


Folk- Here’s a simple tune that can help you unwind.


Simon and Garfunkel, Dylan


Spanish- Appreciate life.


One I know, Spanish Caravan like


Reggae- Calm down and feel good.


Marley, Up stroke 16 bar


Ballad- I love you.


Softer, slower, high notes


Italian- Bonjour Italiano!




Romantic- I want to love you or have sex with you.


Same as Ballad?


Hardcore- Look how much energy you have.


Play fast and hard deep top strings


Melodic- Pretty sounds make life better.


Play a theme like Tetris


Ska- Get silly with old school riffs.


Upstoke like Impression I get


Grunge- Corporate structures suck unless done our way.




Christian- Jesus is Lord.  Praise him.


Praise- White people tend to sing lamely to Jesus.




Gospel- Black people sing better to Jesus than white folks.


A bit funky




You’ll never be better


Unless you stop trying


You need to quit

All that sorry whining


Life is hard


But can be great


If you have talent

And pull your weight

And maybe a whole lot more

But it’s worth if you can


Stand up and be a man


Stand for what’s right


Bright future’s in sight




I’ve been kicked in the balls


By life and some folks in it


But I’ve lived to tell the tale


I’m still using the ice


To make my wounded balls


Feel a little better


Despite the awful pain


I might never be the same


But I can keep on icing

And keep on praying

And someday maybe

My balls will feel right


Or at least not as bad


As they ache right now




Hey someday


You’re going to die


No matter what you do


Or what you say


You are going away


So live today


No better way

To have some balls


Go for it all


Nothing to lose


Someday bad news


You just might fail


Don’t kick the pail


Before you dare


To take a dare


Don’t sit and stare


Go get out there


And fucking live


And try to give


A little love


Take a big risk


Or you might miss


The life you could


Have loved for a while




Everything you love


Everything you hate


Is slowly disappearing


You spent too much time caring


About stupid bullshit


Instead of enjoying it


What the hell were you thinking


You should’ve been drinking

The sweet tastes of life


Instead of being trite

It’s all your fault


You did what you were taught


Instead of living out loud


And now you ain’t proud


Just another no one


Instead of a grown one


But that’s okay


You had to know


It’s all going away


Life was your foe




How can you stand it?


The pop songs suck


This era has no soul


What happened to good music?


We don’t need karaoke idols

We don’t need blond teen twits


We don’t need phony thugs


We don’t need cowboy shit


You ever hear Stevie Wonder?


You ever hear The O’ Jays?

You ever hear Ray Charles?

You ever hear Al Green?

We’ve got great music


Some still being made today

So why do we tolerate the bullshit?


Instead of promoting  heroes?


Makes no sense

Do your part


Refuse to support crap


Support funky soul artists


Who speak to you


And say something

Worth listening to




He’s gone


Nothing lasts forever


But his legacy will last


As long as anything in humanity does


He was the greatest of my time

He caused controversy             


An unusual man in nearly every way


Unlike a lot of his friends and family


I’m not so sure he’s alive in heaven


But I think what he did in life


Will stay with people for as long as


Anything anyone has done


In my lifetime


I hope the work he did


Will be passed on to future generations


Because his work provided genuine hope


For a lot of suffering people


And I believe his work


Will do the same for the ages




I fear the future


I fear the unknown


All I’ve worked so hard for


Is going away


I know that I’ll lose in the end


I can’t help but be sad about it


Terrible curse to be human


Knowing no matter what we do


No matter how we act


No matter how we choose


To spend our time


To maintain our health


We die anyway


Puts small problems in their place


But makes many worry even more


About the big ones




Splash on to a scene


Buy a drink for Tessa


Initial skepticism


A real improviser is able to


Design their own system


I’ve never viewed myself as


The funniest one


In any group of my friends


But fortunately I’ve often surrounded myself


With people who are rather funny


Undertaken a vicious satire of life


While waiting on the sidelines


Influences are a funny thing




Make another dick joke


People always laugh


Make another goofy face


Morons always laugh


Say another cuss word


Tools will always laugh


Imitate a celebrity


Dull people always laugh


Make a corny joke


Lame folks always laugh


You never know what will work for sure


But fuck-wits always laugh


Even if you’re completely unoriginal


Just act like a fool




Life is often hard


Struggle just to live


Too many good folks die


Too many pricks don’t give


There are often no answers


No one’s figured it out


So much uncertainty


Easily filled with doubt


I don’t know where I’m going


But don’t get people who do


I respect their commitment


But I can’t live like you



Never seal a deal with the devil himself


Because he might not show up


If he did


He might do shitty work


But you won’t go to hell


To call him out


Today just step away


Playboy will be there for me to relax


Quit this childish fight against capitalism


The devil already won humanity


Have a sense of wit and irony


I’ve dabbled in a little bit of everything


But excelled in only one thing


Refusing to cut a contract or a rug


With that wicked devil




I want to live


I want to give


But the world is big


Its problems bigger


I don’t know what to do


Before my time is through


Want to do what right


No answer in sight


Just trying to do some good


Never believe I could


Do everything I want


Lost everything I fought


Confused about this life


What’s the point of life?


I guess we all just live for a while, and have to try to make the best of the mysterious ride.



Cities are nothing more than


The worst of humanity


Packed in close together


In stinking quarters


Toughen up or a bunch of


Prison guards do it for you


Unless you have justice


You’ll get used to getting fucked


By most of the world on a daily basis


Abet nobody to be on the safe side


Of refusing to abet a murderer


Earn cash to get respect


Give away cash to get love


Greet friends with a majestic air


All enemies with a pessimistic sneer


Kilt wearers are too often rejected


In corporate offices


Might makes right


As often as white is light


Note the suffering of the world


Try to help eliminate it


Find ways to cope with being unable to do so


Despite awful horrors


Every day on Earth


And eventual guaranteed death


For everything we hold dear


Believe that somehow


The crazy ride of life


Can be worth living




Death results in everyone being fucked. To believe otherwise is non-sense.  I don’t want to live in agonizing pain, but I sure as hell don’t want to just cease to exist forever.  I don’t want to live on by having numbskull children or by writing some book.  I really want to live on in health, peace, and happiness forever!   I can either spend my life imagining a fictional utopian heaven, or I can get busy trying to make this a realistic possibility, if not for me, for some other living beings in the future.




Assholes in suits pretend to be better


The universe is going to bite me


In the ass in the end


Remain nasty, brutish, and short


Package rebellion in consumer products


Soulless and anti-melodic


Beaches wait in the short-term


Human options are limited


To fucking up or fucking around


Refuse to waste time


Laugh about eternal death


If you can



You can grovel to get entry level


Bust your ass for morons


Get treated like shit

Struggle to eat and pay rent


Or you can say to hell with that


And fight to win your own way of life


The universe may still fuck you


But you knew that was going to happen


No matter what you did someday


So might as well go out


Doing something rad


Instead of serving a master


Not much better than sharecropping


Which isn’t much better than slavery




Creating can result in failure

But so can refusing to create


Make something important


Or at least try


Better to fail at something interesting

Rather than succeed


At stupid bullshit




Lines are imperfect


Lines are close to perfect


Lines are as close to perfect


As humanity can make


This ultimately means


Good, better, and best


Are all imperfect


Fuckin’ humans




Denied a chance


Crafted by focusing intensely


Commercial values of life


Subvert human intellectual thoughts


Slot in the roster of the A team


Resemble a laughing ensemble


Join others in a cosmic dance


Conveying real emotions by being guarded


Whine and complain about sub-standard life


Despite lack of intelligent enterprise


No legitimate excuse for my awful behaviors




Refuse to allow diseases to conquer your body


No doctor and no medicine


Is guaranteed to save your life idiots


Instead of relying on doctors


Why not save your own ass? 


Probably because no matter what


You’re eventually destined to fail


Maybe it is a good idea to have


The best coverage possible


To cover your own ass


With the best humanity has yet


To save our asses a bit longer




Good people often lose


Because they get so disappointed


About failing to help all the people


They’d love to help 


Perhaps this is why pricks often win


Because all they care about


Is refining their failures to get power


Instead of being noble 


Power is what operates the world


Not good tidings 


But it’s still nice to see some level


Of good tidings in the world 


Individuals who are brave enough


To challenge bad policies of rulers


Are often mistreated or killed 


Is it worth self-sacrifice to win?



I love her


She might love me


She might love him


She might love her


Open relationship


Bi-sexual girlfriend


Gets confusing sometimes




In a universe where any of us can die


Any time without knowing why


It seems highly unlikely that there’s


One meaning of life that applies to all of humanity 


What is the meaning of life for babies who are aborted? 


Or babies who die before old enough to do anything of note? 


Or children who are quite young? 


Or for teenagers who die before it seems just? 


Or for young adults who seemed indestructible? 


Or for middle aged adults? 


Or for the elderly? 


The meaning of life can’t be proven


For any person at any age




The amount of recovery time needed


Increases exponentially as one gets older


Or more accustomed to temporary living


Without pain




Bauman clapping like a little girl


When a Monkees song was played


On the jukebox


Abby falling off a cliff


Both the Panty Filers and Koleno


Calling back Target and China


I was obsessed with the show


While it was going on


Now, I couldn’t tell you


What it was even about 


Want something urgently


Make it easy for folks to figure out


What that is 


Fractured take on the British accent with a loony chick

A flirtatious chick can still make me nervous


Dancing- It’s as white as me


Laughing hysterically at me


Considering him in the same category


Of lame whiteness as me


I have a few questions line


Saying that the first scene


Wasn’t very good




Associating with a rogue group


Village wanderers who get more done


Laugh at the absurd lives we lead


Nearly universally rejected


Act as a creative vessel if you must


Or just live how you want to now



Allow no one to talk to you, because they could be a terrorist.


Because you live, you will someday die.


Delicious foods are only enjoyed by people who manage to avoid death.


Focal points of life involve not dying.


Golden memories should be pursued before one dies.


Heroic deaths are nothing compared to heroic lives.


Isolated people who die before they help humans serve no point for team humanity.


Jeeps are less likely to kill people than death racers, but since you’re going to die anyway, why not go out in blaze of glory instead of like a fruity, pretentious yuppie?


Karate is more likely to kill than Tai Chi.


Opinions are like assholes, wipe until clean.


Prying into a coffin may be the worst idea of your life.


Rental space is a cheap way to live, but maybe not the place most people want to be buried.


Stoppage time too often results in sudden death.


Troughs are for animals that live a meager existence until death.


Ugly people die sooner than pretty people often.


Vortex the mind around the concept that our temporary lives only serve as a warning to the future damned.


Withhold sex from a partner and your relationship will suffer a slow or rapid death.


Yearn for more, but know that even if you get it, you’ll still die forever someday.


Zippo lighters are enjoyable, but they’re primarily used by folks to engage in activities that kill us quicker.


Sense of balance is needed to cope with inevitable pain, suffering, and death.


The purpose of life is to laugh as much as possible before the universe pulls your curtain down.


Are you possibly mistaken about being guaranteed to live forever just because you obey an ancient book?


Amazing things can happen in life, but nobody seems to be able to produce miracles that lead to the dead being brought back to life anymore.

Things are fucked up, but not as badly as they may be once we die.


By the way, I’m sorry your family was hit by a bus.


The art behind life is that it is beautiful for a while until we start heading towards the grave.


Best of life is still nothing compared to the worst of death.


Parts of people want to live forever, but not people who hate living.


Of all my friends, I hope you die first.


Life is never going to be forever, but people still make eternal promises.


Film is a brilliant piece of art that can be extracted from life.


The funny thing about life is that it is unpredictable no matter how mundane it can seem.


Fictional characters are more important to more people than family members now.

Experience what makes life worth living- Waffle house breakfast.


Now is the time to live for your dream, especially if it’s a simple dream like sleeping more.


Make a better sandwich, because you could get hit by a bus today.

Better live now, because the future may never come.


Things can be realized by people who have intelligence and focus, and hopefully your family at least figures out enough to get burritos.



Killing others is morally wrong, unless you have the power to determine whether it’s legal.


Open your mind and you’ll be amazed at how many amazing things exist in the world.  There are people who make enough to money to survive who bowl most of their waking hours.


Potential friends exist in many places, but the folks at the retirement center may not appreciate a visit form 50 Cent as much as kids do.


Question everyone and everything you think you know.  Turns out, some of them may be wrong.


Respect is due to people who sacrifice to achieve something significant.  So acknowledge the fact that I once missed The Simpsons to take my kid to the hospital!


The best way to be tough is to ride around on your own elephant.


The more you sing at the office, the greater the chances of you being hired to be a great music hero.


Why not do everything possible to live well?  Because it often causes a lot of pain to live well!


Even if you excel, eventually your life seems to be taken over by death.


You aren’t perfect.  Neither is anyone, but there are reasons you’re not as famous as Michael Jackson.


Zero can be done to save the entire planet.  But a lot can be done to eat cookies, so set your goals low and watch how your success rate skyrockets.


All of our heroes are still destined to fall at times.  This makes us equal in the eyes of the universe as members of a tiny species who mostly destroy the extremely small portion of the one planet we live on.  No wonder the universe does everything possible to kill us all.


Moan about the injustice of the world, but only try to change it if you’re willing to risk your life for it. 


People who commit injustice tend to be committed to their cause.


Nothing can be done to change a lot of people instantly, but anyone is going to change over time.  It’s much like leaving a piece of pizza out- it’s exactly the same for a few days- but it sure as hell isn’t over the course of many years.


Put yourself through Chinese prison and see how homework seems easy after that.


Until there’s justice, there will always be some clueless people who actually believe it exists.


Where can one go for the best food?   This might be cheating, but so far from my experience, I’d have to say Earth.  The shit like tang they eat in space isn’t all that great.


Exactly how can one man change the world?  I’d say the easiest way to do so is to feed his family, or refuse to feed his family.  Either way, shit’s going to change.


Live the way you want to, but expect a bunch of assholes to try to stop you if you do.






A friend is someone who should treat you better than an indifferent stranger.


Even the best bands have tunes that few people know about.


Create a better way of life for yourself, and do it with something longer lasting than Play-doh.


Determine who the best people are based upon what they wear.


Fear anyone who has enough power over you to kill you without anyone knowing.


Gold plated streets wouldn’t make things better unless it were easy to steal and replace.


Help causes that matter unless it cuts into your time to watch sitcoms.

Kill enemies only if they resist your attempts to destroy their country and loved ones.


Lightning bugs may be used by people who can’t afford electricity.


Nothing is going to stop you from living a dream, except for waking up to reality.


Open a business to sacrifice years of your life to hopefully break even.


Quit any organization where you don’t start at the top- then we’ll all be winners.


Tip for journalists: Real quotes from others are harder to get than making up ones warped in your favor.


Vent about problems to poor people, because they always have at least as many.


Being required to act with joy is enough to make a person miserable.




Essence of rock n’ roll


Create a new type of music, book, movie, or comedy 


Knocked on the ass


Capture the attention of media hyped money


Even if it is only brief and full of shit

Knowledge we take with us to the grave does no good


So spread the words now while you can 


To emerge from a bogus scene


Anything I choose to do may be amazing


Or it may be shit


Desires of evil fucks who control corporations


Publishers of ideas


Logical sequences are conveniently forgotten


By herds and masses that have no taste or class


Promote lies and filth from within a corrupt system


Defeat government regulations


Protest against the health care of the people


Allow your fingers to float across the page


While coming up with great ideas


Replacing the lamest


Rejection isn’t necessarily final


Kept in awful chains by people who do nothing


Other than fuck over others to profit



Be willing to give up silly pursuits


To do things that matter


Like making a silly book, movie, album


Screwing around with buddies


Makes little to no sense in the cartoon space age


Attaining a higher level of artistry


The gods we refer to as The B-52’s


At the heights of their powers


Conquer a subjected race of people


Appreciation in the finest sense


Of every word that is uttered


Having a sense of flow and rhythm is lovely


Impromptu without editing life


We build together or crumble apart


I wanted to write the best words of all-time


But I may not even write the best words in my family




Status quo will lead to me being


Homeless, broke, hungry


On the brink of being a bum or dying 


I didn’t mind being a bum for a while


But the time to get more serious about life


May be now to avoid horror


People are going to take advantage of me


Unless I fight much harder


Build up resistance to pain



Fans should be allowed to have opinions


But actual performers and athletes


Should also be free to ignore the opinions of fans


The difference between good music and bad music


May be largely subjective


But there are reasons why


The Jonas Brothers sell millions of records


And guys who can play every note Mozart ever wrote


Die without a record deal


Even if it’s trite garbage


People like new shit


If you want to enjoy life


Convince others to join


Your merry little band of travelers


Until you pass away into oblivion




Appreciate all of the time you get to laugh


Because the joke is likely to be on you eventually


Some people have no real way to cope with


The awful parts of reality


Other than to try to laugh at them




Most adults love sex


But spend so little time having it 


Perhaps it is a dish best served


In small portions for many folks

Sex jokes are easy to make


Because it’s the only part of life


All of humanity tends to have in common


We’re here because of sex


If every man had a chance to have


As much sex as they wanted


It might end the world as we know it




Producing a masterpiece may take years


There are already so many masterpieces


It may seem pointless to make all of the effort to do so


Creating is one of the few arts


That may never die until the humanity does


It takes a brilliant mind to create great art


But anyone can pick up a crayon and give it a shot




Places I’d love to travel to


Tuscany with Tess


And our close family and friends


Rio for carnival


South Africa for The World Cup


The Caribbean for relaxation, surf, and scenery


Mykonos, the island I just missed




All of the philosophy in the world means nothing


If there aren’t living being to appreciate it


It’s best to have a philosophy that encourages


Appreciation of temporary life


I’ve embraced some poor philosophies


I’ve made some improvements


But continue to have a much less than perfect beliefs


All of the logic in human history has yet to create


One obviously true philosophy for all people


The best ideas of the greatest minds


Are still unable to conquer


Many of the worst human problems




Writing about sports is a funny way to make a living


But on an absurd planet


It’s not even near the top of the list


Hyping an athlete as much as Michael Jordan


Would be funny if they were just average


I wonder if a film about sports like Major League


Will ultimately be better remembered by future generations


Ahead of all real athletes




It’s a delight to be able to eat one wants


But not constantly


Or it can kill


Living in Chicago is a nice reminder


That you’ll never have enough time to eat


All foods that look good


Many people go to bed hungry


While other people struggle to lose weight



I never wanted to look like everyone else


But the truth is that no matter how hard I tried to be different


I have an ordinary skeleton


It’d odd that many people are judged


Based upon the size of the house they live in


Until humans can live forever, there’s no such thing as a permanent residence.


Many things I’ve worked so hard to understand

Have disappeared forever



Enjoyable family fun


Reflect back to the enjoyable moments of life


Theme parks may come to mind 


The truth is that visions of beauty tend to be subjective


The amount of great experiences is nearly limitless


As long as one has good health 


Bad health limits options quite a bit


Human interest puff piece


Before the main death toll counts


Make the workers fearful and afraid yet again 


What do you want to contribute to the world before you die? 


Something worthwhile that leads to others being able to enjoy life


And learn a bit before they die 


Quit offering lame excuses for why not yet good enough 


Wanderlust movie navigates a richer experience


Falling from grace we may have never had in the first place 


Stop whining about being sore


Get busier living well


Live and breathe the geography of a particular area  


Travel guides to life


Christian theme re-visited in pop songs


Just to reach a stupid mainstream market




Make more of a movie out of life


By bargaining for the range of human emotions


Have trouble predicting the next phenomenon


Exhibitionist streaks we tend to display


Perhaps the state of pop music is rather trivial


Considering the global crisis of guaranteed death


But sounds serve as inspirations for thoughts


A more credible source


Mere ideas are extrapolated


Rational concept that only promotes self-interests

Thrive in a world full of pretenders and haters



People who cause chaos


Are quite a problem


But tend to be squashed rapidly


The real problem for most of us


The people in charge


Who supposedly look after our interests


Unless the our is the elite


Our interests are ignored by leaders


Our interests only become realities


By fighting


Either by ourselves


Or in solidarity with others


Who serve a common purpose

Impossible by peaceful means


Nearly every time


Better to go along with the system


Or fight with everything you’ve got


Yet another decision to make on the road of life


Before you join the nicest folks and the total pricks


In permanent death




So much music already out there


How could one make something superior?


So many books already


How could one make something even better?


So many movies already in the world


How could one make an even better one?


There’s no right answer


There’s only guessing


Personal judgment calls


The truth is that enjoyment of life is subjective


Although there are many things many tend to do


Bits of life that give joy to millions


Almost nothing in the universe


Is able to bring pleasure to every single person


The truth is that mystery never stops


Life is often hard to figure out


And the few successes of humanity


Are quite amazing in consideration


Of the obvious truth


That we’re all here just for a while


Yet some choose to give


Instead of fucking around all of the time


That’s what makes some small percent of humans


Worthy of respect and honor



Finish making a contribution


But don’t let it kill you


Before life does




Live as long as you can


While living as well as you can


Even though you may never find out


How you can do either


Knowledge is power


But only if used


Too many folks


Never do shit


With what they got



On a planet of more songs and types of music


Then I’ll ever have time to hear


I still get stuck surrounded by people


Who willingly listen to the same ridiculous


Mundane pop song


For the 237th time that week


Driven nuts by people


Who ignore the world


Of nearly endless musical beauty


For another Boy Band


Or another blond bimbo




Deciding what to focus on can be tough


If drawn to a particular part of it

May as well embrace the love


Do all we can to bring hilarity to life


Lighten the load for a few folks


Great artists only last for a while


Getting married to change a way of life


Settlings of trappings


Only great actors stand out


But so many mundane ones still get work


While so many talented ones sit out


Makes little sense


In an often senseless world


Friends of old come to visit


If only for a while

The truths of one age change


New truths become relevant


Keeping up with change of life is nearly impossible

Yet so many people still try


What is it changes


What is done becomes nearly everything


Enjoy the moments you have left


Dig the simple pleasures


Having bread to eat, water to drink


But dig the greatest pleasures too


Great sex with a lover


Hanging with the family


Being able to listen to fine music


Experience life richly


Then you’ll see


Life is a joy for those who make it so




Mere words don’t often change the world


Actions often do


Even if it’s just a small change


Better to have a small impact

Than no impact at all


On a planet of nearly 7 billion folks


It’s unlikely that you’ll be able to reach a lot of them


But you can always try to do something


To reach a tiny amount of them


Hell, there are billions of people


Who live completely different lives


Even Jesus and the mass media


Fail to reach them all

Settle for your small sphere of life


Try to do a little good if you can


Enjoy the rest of the time to live


As much like you want to


As often as you can


Because living well is a mystery


And we all have to try to figure out beauty


If we have any sense at all




Funniest things ever


Often get lost in translations


Former friends were funny


But they became responsible


Mortgage payments drain the fun out of folks


For many the price of ownership


Is the price of a large amount of joy


Not worth it in that case


But for others


The price of ownership


Is just some measly green papers


To enhance experiences one gets


Virtually on command


People fight like rats at a buffet


Just for a few more pellets of rewards


It’d actually be funny


If in most cases


It wasn’t so very sad




The worst movies of all-time


Serve as an inspiration


Writing a rough draft

Turning it into something profound


Using knowledge for a purpose


Even if only temporary


Credit folks who try


With advancing the species

Don’t always have to be a genius


Just have to participate


Unique souls break into a business

Commit to living well


Pretenders to a crown


Perhaps even including former rulers


Nobody stays on top forever


The few who get to experience the top


Can attest to that


The people who say nothing changes


Are complete fools


Everything changes all of the time


It just happens gradually


So fools tend to miss it


Even though it always happens


Masters of world music


Too often go unrecognized


Too often unrewarded


But keep doing it anyway

The people who are called to different paths

Don’t care about tons of prestige

They care about their own causes


Whatever they may be


Filtering in and out of brilliance

Embrace the moments of purity

Change is coming soon


It can be felt in the air


Becoming deeply cynical of leaders


Is probably a good thing


Wrestling with God is pointless


Pop musicians are easier to grasp


Even if they’re quite silly too


At least it’s something tangible

That can be understood


By one of the five standard senses



For the love of a woman


A man will often do rather strange things 


Making sense out of the past


Is often difficult to impossible to do 


The work of your life may not even mean a thing

To the person you love most


Love never makes sense


Enjoy it, if you can


But don’t waste any time


Trying to understand it


You’ll lose




Giving into an ordained system of power


Keeps the ruling class empowered


The working classes working 




Notes and lyrics


Mentioned along with the improvisational friends


Getting a working class job like so many others


Have a shred of hope in a time and place


By living in wanderlust


A lot of folks live in loud desperation


A guaranteed way of death for far too many folks




I can only make my work meaningful


Or I can continue to wait for no good reason


I’ve been hesitant to finish my final products


I know how many works already exist


Why I want to make mine exceptional


Have the courage to make what I’ve formed useful


I can continue to just watch


Or I can take risks to actually get involved with humanity




There’s more amazing music


Than I’ll ever have time to listen to


That’s been made by hopeful humans 


I believe music will always be relevant to my life


There’s a mysterious element in tunes


That touches people like me uniquely


But formal structures and processes


Can be studied for a lifetime


Without mastering any of them 


I’ll try to enjoy whatever music I can


For as long as I can



There’s no cause and effect relationship with you and the universe.  You ended up here, but the universe has no specific instructions.  You have to create a voyage you find worthwhile if you can.  But the universe appears to be indifferent to our little human activities.


No matter how hard I try, I seem to fail to understand everything in the universe.


The universe is big


And I’m small


But at least I’m tall

Compared to yall


The universe is the weirdest place I’ve ever been to.


The universe makes about as much sense as a god-awful b-film made to make money.


The universe plays cruel jokes every day, but humans are chastised for imitating their creator?


The universe is a vast place full of nearly endless mysteries, but some people still devote the bulk of the time of their life simply to making enough money to survive.


The universe has said nothing to me directly, which I figure gives me permission to do anything I can get away within it.


The universe is nearly impossible to dump while staying alive.  Believe me, I’ve tried.


The universe may be cruel or a friend, but if it’s a friend now, it’s always a traitor in the end.


The universe seems to be mostly made out of elements that scientists claim not to be able to understand.  Yet so many non-scientists seem to claim that they know a God is watching over all of us and has a specific purpose for everything in the universe.


The universe is more amazing than I can imagine.  I’m still trying to understand the gift of potato chips.


If we have an appreciation for the universe, it’s odd that we focus so much time and energy squabbling about how to best live on this tiny planet.


The universe is probably indifferent to your greatest hopes, but on the plus side, your most ridiculous failures as well.


The universe is larger than I can understand.  I don’t even get basic astrophysics.


Instead of trying to control the universe, maybe it’s wise to build a small fire and stay close to it.


Human actions may change things for a while on this planet, but we have a way to go before we prove to have much of an impact on the universe.


Despite the fact that the universe seems indifferent to me and my kind, I like hanging with it.


Despite the fact that the universe is indifferent to me now, I hope it’ll someday show me favoritism.


I think the worst drug I’ve ever been addicted to is the universe.


Someone is too ambitious if they’re unhappy until they control the universe.


It’s hard to believe that such a strange universe produces so many strange people who try so hard to achieve the failed quest to be normal.


In the grand scheme of the universe, it may not matter much to the human species whether you lived like a bum or royalty.  But it’ll probably determine your opinion of how pleasant the universe is.


The universe is beyond my full understanding, but I still don’t want to automatically assume a magical invisible spirit being rules over all just because I don’t have every answer about the truth of the universe.


Admitting that the universe is often beyond comprehension is the first step towards being sane.


The universe has some great parts, but most of it offers little in the easy to access oxygen department. 


The universe may be explored further by humanity, but we’ve still got tons of turmoil even on our small piece of the puzzle.


It’s possible that the most bizarre piece of the universe’s puzzle is our planet, but it might be just one of many twisted realities.


The universe isn’t going to wait for you.  It’s got a journey of its own.


The universe is a grand place for people who accept that they only have a bit of time to enjoy its privileges before permanent expiration of membership.


The universe may be expanding, but I don’t want to risk property values in that part of reality.


The universe seems to have a few good things within it, but most of it’s hard for me to see.


The universe is only a friend if I like associating with people who give me nothing and are certain to eventually kill me.  The universe is a temporary friend, but an eventual killer.


Although it’s probably good to be excited about some of the people, places, and things in your life, it’s possible that other people may want to focus on something else in the universe.  So enjoy what you can, but never take your temporary life in this giant universe that eventually destroys us all too seriously.



Well this song might not be as good as Beethoven


Or even as good as Bach


This tune might be just an all right one


Maybe not even as good as rock


But there’s one thing I know for sure


And if you don’t you suck


This simple song’s better than Hannah Montana


This stupid riff’s better than Lady Gaga


The worst shit I yell’s better than Britney Spears


If they make millions then so should I


They shouldn’t be heroes

Their music should die


If they’re worshipped


I should be bigger than Jesus


If the world was right I’d have billions


Buying tacky shit with my face on it


Oh my only dream left


Is to be better than mundane blond pop star




Too many babies are born


Not enough to eat

Too many pricks rise to power


Too few evolve for better


The whole world’s destined to die


And experience pain along the way


Grim reality for most


Hard to know what to do


In a world with so much uncertainty


Hard to be motivated

Knowing it all goes away


Since we only live for a while

Should try to enjoy the ride


Until it slips away




Rebellion in the timing and sense of the words


Jazz fusion plays in my mind

Better than the rest


It survives my test


Put in a guest


I’d like to request


A festive mood for a besting toad


Looting the riot stores


Capital idea James

The nicest guys on the planet         


May not be able to help us all


It’s a shame we have to go


We were having such a lovely time

Wasting another Friday night


Sleeping and watching TV


Kicked my ass several times over


Life is nothing but a guess


Finish projects that matter


Commit to the end


A ripping guitar riff is unsettling


The times of life are puzzling


For the love of the work


For the love of craft


It pays to pay attention


To things that seem to matter


Never bother with garbage


Sax solos are far too short


Touched by a distant memory


Hoping to have some content


Without being pretentious


Table for four please


Love to have a look at those


Terrible ideas plague the species


Getting over quarterly losses


Bidding for the wrong team


Festival of the mind

Grocery store coupon deals

Meals on super fly wheels


Portions of proceeds go to me


Igniting a slight fire from within


Polite society can go to hell


Hubris is another word for asshole


Kicking and screaming all the while


Funk flares up joy in me


Dance til’ death


For the times we have


Never mind that grunge


Pot is going to be legal


Little will change


Decide what to do


Make the move

Live out loud


Or chill out quietly


Embrace all the good things


Resist the bullshit


Know how to do best


Right the wrongs

Write the songs


Loop the tape


Wear a cape


Be a hero


If you dare


If you care


Or wear the collar


Make a dollar


Go home


Watch TV


Pray for money


Lack the honey


Hope for better days


Refuse to change your ways


Life becomes a haze


Enjoy your laze




More than 100,000 people die every day


Abortions are nearly non-stop


Millions of people sick at any given time


And your God just watches


Not giving two shits


That’s either a sadistic God


Or a powerless one


Either way, count me out


I refuse to worship a loser or a prick


You should too


If humans are ever going to solve problems


We need a lot less prayer and a lot more work


Already obvious to rational people


Even supposed believers already know


Their god doesn’t really answer their prayers


They can hope for it

But they know God ain’t no genie


Or the people who pray


Have the worst prayers of all-time


Hey God, don’t worry about those starving children


How about giving me a raise?


Hey God, I trust it’s your will for thousands to die in war

Why not make this one guy with crutches at a revival meeting


Start doing the electric turbo breakdance?


Fuck all of the people who die if you want them to


I’d love for you to get the Vatican nicer stained glass


But it’s no wonder your God doesn’t care


How many human inventions care about human affairs?




I’m twisted


Maybe more than them


I tried a few things

Failed miserably


And settled for the mundane


I accept some of my fate


But not when I’m getting fucked by assholes


At least I can tell them what they are

Even if it results


In me getting clubbed


And thrown into some nasty place


Beaten down for refusing to go along


With their corrupt plans


Life is funny


Serve the masters


Or live like a bum


Neither is a good idea


But might as well make a choice


There’s a huge difference


Between getting your ass kicked


And getting your ass kissed


Most prefer the latter


But is it worth it to kiss ass?


When you can just live on the outside?




Efforts aren’t a waste if we apply time and talents to help other people who fail in the battle against the universe.


Anyone up before 6 AM is either cursed or driven.


No matter what time it is, no matter what the temperature, no matter what day of the year\it is, someone in Chicago is running outside in shorts.


If you live in Chicago, even if you’re a conservative law abiding citizen, at least a few times a year you’ll come close to being killed by random traffic.


Many people are wise enough to give up way before struggling for years to find there are no permanent solutions to human problems.


Perhaps the things in life that are meant to be taken seriously only last for a while.  Having a sense of peace or security, even temporarily, may only be a feeling that resides in humans for a brief moment. 


Give up on perfection, aim for excellence.  There is no way to be perfect.  There are demonstrable ways to achieve excellence.




I have to be willing to move on.


I have to be willing to let go.


I have to be willing to try in the real world. 


I have to be full of integrity, but also know that I may have to compromise at times.

I have to be willing to do everything possible to live well and spend the rest of my time being productive and earning a living.


I have to be more than I’ve been thus far in life.


I have to try harder for the ones I love, and for the ones who suffer who I don’t even know at this point.


I have to do better than I have thus far.

I have to contribute to parts of life that I believe are worthwhile.


I have to have courage and be willing to make up a point of life that’s meant to be inspiring.


I have to be a wonder in all that I do and say.

I have to relax and try to enjoy life as best possible.


I have to be a buzz kill and get a much worse type of life than anything else to make a format funny.


I have to be willing to explore the cave of the unknown with others who I want to participate with.


I have to try to be better than anything I am in the present.


I have to be an amazing person who does and says unique things that seem to matter more than anything else in life and make a row of differences in the way that I perceive reality.


I don’t actually have to do anything.  I’d like to keep living, and keep living well.  But I’m pretty damn sure that the universe is going to go on in its chaotic state, with or without me.



Living in a fantasy camp of the mind 


Being parodied may result in being offended


Or being approached with a unique joy in life


I’ve been quite lucky, and I have to push to make my lucky ass relevant


To count as influences, people should inspire you to actually do something.


Some of the worst ideas ever committed to film projects


Happened because some people still thought they were worth making 


Ridiculous ideas are fun to laugh at


They serve as examples of how human projects can be off target


In reality nothing is like the vision some people want to be true 





Oh man, I’m so down


Living in the third world


I got no money


I got no job


I see people dyin’


Ain’t no food around


Some war lord is killing


Some young kid is robbing


Some mother is crying


Ain’t no hope around


It’s the same in Rwanda


It’s the same in Tibet


It’s the same in Brazil


It’d the same in Tikrete


Ain’t got no cash

Might not even live


Can’t someone help us


Something gotta give


Third world blues


Things are real tough


Don’t want to hear bullshit


Bout how you got it rough


Yeah that’s some bullshit

To think you got it rough






Some fat guys will remind you


There’s nothing you can do




The Mayor’s super corrupt now


Life his father before him



The funny thing about the news is that it never really changes.  Just about every news broadcast since I’ve been alive has been:  Good evening.  I’m blank from blank station news.  Our top story, some depressing event meant to instill fear while captivating you to feel the need to watch the rest of our show.  Next we have national news, which informs you of all the grand tragedy that takes place in the nation you live in.  But your fill in the blank leaders are debating about the best way to reform policies.  In local news, this part of your town is going to shit.  But don’t worry, there are some good things in the world  Distractions like music, movies, and sports should be able to take over your mindset enough to calm you down from the fear we’ve installed into you.  But just in case that’s not enough, here’s a fluff piece about an animal who with a wacky talent.  That will put a nice cherry on top of the fear based news sundae we just fed you.  Good night.  Make sure you tune in tomorrow, and every day for the rest of your lives, even though we pretty much churn out the same repetitive shit each night.


SCRIPT IDEAS- a robot dog that has an idiot human partner solving mysterious crimes together


A TOTAL HACK WRITER WITH A REPUTATION hires nobodies who are brilliant to churn out “his” material



The end seems near

Too soon I fear


I never had a chance


The world was too strong


I didn’t get along


The pricks always win


Despite all their sin


I can’t believe I lost


The sea of life tossed


Me around like a stone


I was left all alone


Waiting to die


Final goodbye




The life that I lived


Is over now

I listened to a bunch of folks

But never did shit


Can’t do that anymore


Or else I’ll fucking die


I’m not a kid anymore


I have to make rent


Sad that’s my only goal


Just to avoid being homeless


Even that’s a struggle


Because I was a bum


Too bad I was a dipshit


Another ant flushed down the drain


Another wasted brain


Team humanity going down


Team humanity’s still around

But not for long


Universe is collecting dues




I don’t think there is a meaning of life


Just some ways to live better


And some that really suck


But none of it can be proven


To have meaning for all


I know a few things I like

And a few others do


But that doesn’t mean shit


Unless you want it to


I dig music


So do a lot of other folks


But not always


I’d be fine if music were eliminated


From the entire universe


If all we had was that awful


Country line dancing shit


But millions seem to like it


And I can’t prove em’ wrong


But I can make fun of them


All fucking day and night long



Is there any point to creating


If one never shares shit


The best things in the world

Won’t mean much if they sit


In some dank shoebox


Seen by no one


But how many people trot out non-sense


And act like it is the greatest


Just because they made it


A bunch of delusional morons


Is it better to slave without knowing


If your work is great or shit

Or to hide away anything you do            


Guaranteeing a non-result




16 million viewers don’t lie


How could my sitcom die?


Oh Lord, how I tried


So many network execs lied


So many loyal fans cried


The end is here, wacky neighbor go home


Unemployment is here, Crazy Buddies is done




The world needs no more songs


But they’re nice to have


The world needs no more books


But they’re nice to have


The world needs no more movies

But they’re nice to have


Perhaps selecting a non-essential potential profession


And being less than professional about it


Has led to amazingly bad results


Another lesson for another day


Perhaps most of the time of life is meant to be joyless


For most of the people who’ve ever lived


Emotional states are to be recovered


Better times may be ahead

The losses and the marks of life


Make a difference in the end


Move forward and act with courage


Poetry does little to nothing to convince others


A better way exists


But the imagery that provides joys


May mean little in the end


Sacrifice for something meaningful

Quit doing things that matter none

Make the compromises needed


To live how you want to


Enjoy what you can


Embark on a new mission


Set up a better way of life

Pay the rent


Don’t become spent

Hustle for what counts


Make life worth living


Make a passionate cry


Make an inspiring try


Open the mind and heart


Life should be fantastic


But it often isn’t

Get over tragedies


Get more power to live



Fear can be crippling, particularly if one fears immunization shots.


There’s a reason why rock stars often excite others and statisticians usually don’t.


Jailing innocent people is a crime.  But it’s a bad idea to only jail people who candidly confess to felonies.


Kill the enemy from within, unless it happens to resemble you far too much.


Lying to children is an awful way to make money, but 3 months a year off may convince you to teach.


Tighten the belt around the necks of leaders who make sure most people have to tighten their belts.


Nothing can open minds faster than a gun.




Go to the distant places


Dare to take a risk


See the world you want to see


You’ll be amazed


The world is bigger than your backyard


Unless you have a global perspective


No matter where you go


You’ll learn new lessons


Life is thriving all over the globe


Go where you feel you belong


Go where you may be wrong


You’ll always wonder if you don’t


You’ll never wonder if you go


Open roads and endless highways


Flowing seas and well-built skyways


Humanity gives a lot to the Earth


But the Earth gives way more back


If you never see some more of it


You’ll feel less a part of it


Locals are fun to live with


But so are locals across the world


Everyone can be a little Columbus


Even if just for a day


Then you can say

You know a little more


About this vast world




Watching The World Cup


NBA Finals


The local ball club


Kids messing around


Sports are a lot of fun


Meant to be enjoyed


Play around while you can


Dig the ball game of choice


No matter where you go

People love their team


Support your favorite warriors


They may dazzle again


The figures of life all step out


And bring it home again


Watch them win it all


Watch them cry in defeat


The glory and agony of athletics


Will make you feel alive




Another rainy day


Maybe you should play


A board game for a while

It will make you smile


Take you back to being a kid


Remember what you did


Got to play with friends


Got to play pretend


The joys of cards and dice


It was oh so nice


And now the rain has gone away

But you can still stay


Inside and play


An old board game




I don’t want to take away hope

I want to point out the truth


If there is all-powerful invisible god


It does nothing to prove it’s real


Just because followers have zeal


Doesn’t make it real


Being skeptical of the heal


If it’s something that can be faked


An amputated limb is never magically replaced


Never seen one rise from the dead


Seen wealthy churches instead


Sucking suckers for their bucks


Not a matter of luck


Religions systematically drain the hopeful


And give them an afterlife discount


A coupon that might never be redeemed


It sure seems wrong


To sing some non-sense songs


Pass a collection plate


And simply lay back and wait


To get rich from others sins


They shop out of thrift store bins


While churches get more stained glass


A gold plated mass


A new car for the preacher


Barely a meal for the meekest


We have no proof of God


It seems quite odd


To live for a world that may never be


Instead of the one


That we know we have definitely




I want to know everything possible


But the older I get


That seems quite limited


Time goes by


A lot of people die


Even more come in


But nobody wins


At everything they want


The temporary ride


No one can hide


From the short life we get


It’s hard to bet


On the best odds in life


Too many have strife


Trying to find peace


They come to grief


Good ideas help

Deep thoughts may last a while


But no intelligence saves forever


Philosophy is only good for a while




If anything can save humanity

It will be miracles of science


Maybe they never will


But at least there’s a chance


Medicine is the way


Look what we have today


Longer life spans


Healthier food to eat


Better technology


More entertainment than we can view


Everything is made new


After a few short years


Options always increasing


Quality of life is releasing


Unimagined possibilities

We have science to thank


Thanks to the eggheads and the geeks


The geniuses and freaks


Who allow the rest of us to live


And spend our time in better ways


Thanks for the work of science




Always a debate


Just what should I eat?


I know I’d love some pizza

I bet I’d dig some chips

Chocolate always tastes good

But they say fruit’s better for me


So many delicious foods

I can only eat a few at a time


I want to have the flavors of the gods


Come alive in my mouth right now


Maybe I’ll chow down at a buffet

Or a simple sandwich at home


I know that I’ll win no matter what

As long as I follow my gut


More restaurants than I can ever visit

Man I love this town


A bored diner in Chicago

Should open their eyes and enjoy


Just a few options from around the world


The gifts of food never stop


And if you’re not sure what to do

Just ask for cheese on top




I have a few new clothes


I got them all for free


The ladies in my life are good to me


They give me new shirts and pants


Funny that I mostly hang out shirtless


In my underwear


I’d rather have cheaper clothes


That I don’t have to worry about


No life of a prince for me


Give me cheap threads and let me be on my way


Anyone who pays too much for clothes


Is a grand fool indeed


Too bad that fashions change on a whim


Give up and just wear what you like


And then you can live in peace



Having a place to live is great


But owning a home may be overrated


Mortgage payments and higher taxes


Have to grow up and cut the lawn


Might have to fix a septic tank


It may break your bank


Always a risk in owning a home


But you might find a treasure trove


Some people are happy with what they’ve got


Others never settle for anything less than a castle




Live right now while you still can


Time to stand up and be a man


Or a woman if you want


The time of life is short and you must get down now


Or maybe never at all


Have a ball


You already know the end


Please don’t pretend


You can’t beat it


Michael Jackson couldn’t beat it


Die with your boots on


Or off if your prefer


But know that it’s coming soon


So live right now to the max


Maybe you can beat the tax


But death is knocking at your door


You can try not to answer it


But it will hunt you down


No protein shakes or sit-ups will change it


So accept your final destiny


And accept your temporary destiny


Live out loud now




I miss you girl


I miss that sweet lovin’


Yeah, I know you’re with me right here now girl


But I’ll never stop missing you


I’ll miss you when you get up to get a sandwich


I’ll miss you from across the room


I’ll miss when you take the dog for a walk


I’ll miss you when you and your mama talk


I’ll miss you when you take out the trash


I’ll miss you when you watch a TV show I don’t like


I’ll miss you when you go to the bathroom


I’ll miss you when you fall asleep before me


I’ll miss you when you’re in my arms


I’ll miss you when we’re making love


I’ll miss you girl, until the day I’m dead


Unless I can miss you girl from beyond the grave




How the hell did we get here?


It makes no sense


Why do we worry so much about the ride


Knowing it all ends in a tragic car wreck


Music makes some people lose their minds


But others despise it


Books inspire some to change lives


Others to run away


Movies bring hope to billions


But make billions want to vomit


We only have a little time

So we should try to make it great


Enjoy the time we have left


And enjoy whatever we can


My wacky family


The have all the problems


They drink too much

They fight a lot

They argue about money


They yell at each other


They threaten each other


They throw things at each other


They steal from each other


They sleep with each others wives

They pull each others teeth out


They gouge each others eyes out


They piss on each other when they sleep


They steal each others children


Sell them on the black market


They shoot arrows at each other


They get each other IRS audits


They hire hit men to whack each other


Oh my nutty family



God, you’re such a dick sometimes.


I’d rather be a dick than a cunt.


Oh how clever you piece of shit.


Okay, shut the fuck up you bitch whore, your Mom’s coming over.


Oh, hello Andy, nice to see you.


Indeed it is Mrs. Marah.  I was just complimenting Julie on her tasteful decorations.


Oh, how lovely.


And I was just telling Andy how pleasant his company is.




Watch this show


It’s really good

Nothing better to do

Than watch this show


Sit down and relax


Make sure you watch it all


Don’t forget the commercials


They keep us on the air


Please don’t forget the commercials


They’ll be really good too


Buy what they say to


Keep watching our show


Tell everyone you know


It’s the greatest show in human history!




What an attractive film star


You’d want to have sex with them


How about that opening scene


Makes you want to keep watching


Anything could happen


But it’ll be exciting no matter what


We’ll laugh when it’s funny


We’ll keep paying money


To see this sexy film star again


What a brilliant script

What a brilliant cast


Man it uses music well


What cinematography


Art in every way


This flick will change your life

You’ll be a better person


The world itself will change


Because you watch this film

Yes the world will change forever


Because you watch this film




That’s it


I’ve had enough


I’m tired of this bull stuff


You pay me too little


You work me too hard

No one appreciates me


Well Mister, those days are done


You can’t tell me what to do any more


I plan to find other ways to work


I’ve realized it’s high time


To try something new with my life


I’ll show the world what I’ve got


Blaze a new and exciting trail


Please accept my two week notice


I hope you understand


The time for me to move on is now


Or in the near future anyway


But eventually I will say to you good sir


I quit this stikin’ job!


Oh man, I’m sorry my language was so foul


I take back the crass statement


I’d still appreciate a solid letter of recommendation


To my next potential employers


Before I can gain the courage to tell them


I quit that stinkin’ job too!




I used to know all the greats


Jackie Gleason, Rod Serling, and Lenny Bruce were my men


I rolled with the top dogs and high class all stars


I was treated like royalty

I could recognize any pop culture reference


From 1950- 1963


But the world changed on me


I realized suddenly


Times like mine could never be again


It’s worse than the worst sin


My knowledge is virtually useless


In the age of the internet


These kids with their damn Madonna and Michael Jackson


Think they know the greats


I tell you they’re no Stan Kenton


Or Lionel Hampton legends


If I hear any more of this newfangled David Lettermen


I think I’ll shit my pants


These flash in the pans are nothing like the real stars


Back when entertainment was divine


But you kids don’t have to settle

Travel with me back in time


Check out Your Show of Show


Watch The Twilight Zone


Gods like Chuck Berry can last forever


If you kids would just get off your lazy asses


Teach the kids some real classics


Leave it to Beaver’s better than some fake Terminator


Please check out the classics with me


Please check out some classic TV




I want to sing a song


But I really suck


I want to be a star


But I sound like shit


I want to be rich

But I got no cash


I want to get the women


But I can’t get no ass


I want to be a god


But I can’t even make rent


I don’t want to give up


But my life is spent


I want to live forever


And be the greatest guy


But I’m nowhere close


I guess I’ll fucking die



The universe will go on


Just fine after I die 


I’d like to know why


I came here at all


But that order’s too tall


From all I can tell


No one knows


Sit around watching shows


Put on by silly fools


Obey bullshit rules


All for what


You’ll be cut


No one makes it in the end


The universe isn’t your friend




Write the most brilliant lyrics

Touch the souls of humanity


Inspirational in every way


Odd sounds can ruin it


Brilliance drowned out by crap


No one wants to hear that


Not even for the lyrical rewards


What the hell was the artist thinking?


Shut the fuck up


Be a writer instead


You can’t make good music


You sick son of a bitch



MUSIC- There is more music that exists than I’ll ever have time to listen to.  Most music serves as a mere distraction from the worries and important issues of life.


It may have been foolish of me to believe that music could “save” me.  It’s hard to find a tune that will maintain biological needs.

The great music of the world should serve as an inspiration to be creative and appreciate life while we can.  The awful music of the world should inspire us to revolt and destroy.

BOOKS- The amount of great books in the world that can influence individuals are nearly endless.  The difficult part about life is determining which authors are focused on the most meaningful words that accurately describe what reality is.

It may have been foolish of me to believe that writing a book would mean something significant to others in a world where billions of people do everything they can to avoid reading.

MOVIES- The amount of great movies is nearly endless, but it seems that anyone who tries to find great movies has to sift through many less than brilliant ones. 


It may have been foolish of me to believe that watching movies other people made would ever be able to give me acting, directing, and writing abilities.

COMEDY- The amount of great comedy in a world where everyone is born clueless and is guaranteed to die is limitless.


It may have been foolish of me to believe that I could be taught by others how I could be funny.

SEX- Despite billions of ugly people, the amount of great sex that anyone can have is nearly endless. 

It may have been foolish of me to refuse to have sex merely because God was watching me.  Maybe God would’ve been into it.

ART- There are billions of pieces of art that have been created, yet so many individuals hope that their creations will be able to earn them a comfortable living.


It may have been foolish of me to believe that anything I created would mean more than a funny Mad magazine cover.

TRAVEL- There are hundreds of countries on Earth and I can only live in one place at a time.  It’s impossible to know which place is best, but everyone can make decisions about where they believe they can live better than anywhere else.

It may have been foolish of me to believe that taking a trip around the world drunk would show me my life purpose.

SCIENCE- Many people strive to make scientific improvements but few succeed.


I think the most amazing miracle of science I’ve ever personally witnessed was my frat brothers lighting farts.

ANTI-RELIGION- There are many religions that make quite different claims about truth and none of them are able to offer definite proof that their claims are undeniably true.


It may have been foolish of me to assume there was unquestionably a god until I was 22.

PHILOSOPHY- There are more philosophies than one has time to learn about in one lifetime, but no philosophy that can be guaranteed to lead to a better way of life.


It may have been foolish of me to spend time reading philosophy instead of getting laid.


SPORTS- There are more sports matches taking place every day than anyone has time to watch, but many lazy men do their best to watch whatever sports are on TV.

 It may have been foolish of me to think that anyone would ever care about me kicking balls into a net better than other guys wearing different shirts.

GAMES- There are more games taking place than anyone will ever have time to watch.


If people spent as much cash fighting against world hunger as they did on lottery tickets no one would starve.

FOOD- There’s enough food on Earth to sustain billions of humans and numerous animal species, but there may be a famine in any specific place at any given time.

I may have been foolish for trying harder to find out which places served the best chicken wings instead of investing money wisely.

CLOTHING- Billions of people throughout the world have enough clothing to meet their basic survival needs.

I may have been foolish to believe that chicks would dig my “Gone crazy be back later” t-shirt.

SHELTER- There are many different ways to create a home.


I may have been foolish to waste money on rent instead of wasting money on a home I’d never be able to pay off.

LIFE- There are many different ways to spend the limited time one has in life.


I may have been foolish to waste my life trying to find out the truth in a world where everyone and every source of information appears to be so full of shit.

DEATH- There are many different ways to die but they all provide a similar end result.


I may have been foolish to believe I could add anything significant to a world where nearly everything and everyone is forgotten and we all die.

LAST DAY?   If this were my last day, what would I do?   I'd email friends and family.   I'd email a more detailed message to Tess and Drew about what I've written.   I'd call Ma, Drew, and whoever else I could.   I'd have sex with Tess, if she wanted to.   I'd eat some good food.   I'd see whoever else I could.   I'd try to die with a little dignity, but I might end up just wailing like a little bitch.   Get over the myth of Sisyphus and start pushing rocks for a reason.   TRUTH POEM?   The good and the bad   Nobody can has the time   To know even a small portion   About all of the truth   Life is about making   Failed attempts   To do what we want   I didn't discover   The meaning of life    I don't believe   Anyone has    I have to make   The best of the ride   As long as it lasts    TRAVEL HERO
Visit as many places as I can   But never expect to come close   To seeing all that is   And all that could be   ODD THOUGHT   Fortunate people stick around   While absurdities of life pile up   We're left with little more   Than a ridiculous species   WAY TOO MANY SONGS                        So many songs
So many wrongs   I can’t believe it   It’s hard to see it   So many songs are such shit   I can’t believe it’s a hit   It sounds nothing like the best   It fails every musical test   We haven’t evolved   Problems can be solved   Listen to awful tunes   Those talentless goons   The music world has no wits   The music world’s tight assed like Brits   The world isn’t your musical friend   Your life is bad music til the end   BOOKS I COULD LOVE   JOKE’S ON YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE TOO   BORN GRATEFUL FOR VAGINA                                                       ART IN HEARTY BANK ACCOUNT   I BARELY AVOIDED A 6 AM WHORE AND OTHER FUN TRAVEL TALES




It’s hard to believe how many people die every day.  It’s enough to make one believe that they’re unable to do anything to help most people out.




I love people

I love children

I have a sweet voice

You better listen

Black men crying

Their babies dying

You know it ain’t right

Brothers have to fight

For a better way of life

Worth all the strife

One day we’ll all be one

Get to play in the sun

Life will be a joy

For every girl and boy




Getting into a groove with the funk

The doors of the mind open

Who does it?

The beats roll on

I wander to the beach

I heard it was gay

No wonder I loved it

It was really weird

Tenacious sounds

Brown night goes by

AC becomes DC

Sabbath day blues

Experience racks up

52 miles to go

Talking about it

Boingo is madness

Cru is on deck

Cream filled skies

Nirvana at last




You can do okay for a while

Take time to smile

You only get so long

Better make it count

Don’t go too wrong

Life takes you out

Full of fear and doubt

Forget about it now

You’re going down

Better do the town

Get out while you can

Live like a man

Do the biggest and best

Forget about the rest

Focus on what’s sweet

Before your defeat

You can’t take anything with

Eternal life is just a myth

Make your peace with it

Afterlife- forget it




I like to wear cowboy boots

I wrestle you good

I sing really nice in the shower

I dance swell in the nude

I’m a many man

Manliest man of all

We’ll have a ball

I can hang with the boys

I don’t care for the girls

Unless it’s time for shopping

Or maybe some drinks

Who doesn’t like fu-fu?

I’m all about it girl

You know that’s right honey!




Oh hell I

I don’t, I don’t understand

When I see that something

You want to kill this band

You want to kill this band

You better kill this band




I can’t even say what the popular songs of today are

I just know they annoy the shit out of me

I can’t tell the difference between any of it

It all sounds lame

Watered down corporate shit

It ain’t like back in my day

We had music with integrity

When I was coming up

The stars were like gods

Backstreet Boys, N Sync, Hanson

Celine Dion, Garth Brooks

Kriss Kross, Right Said Fred, Hammer

Vanilla Ice, Who Let The Dogs Out?

They had something to say

Hmm, maybe in retrospect

My generation was full of idiots too

Maybe music is just meant to be fun

Fuck around for a while

Before you get old

Lame in a more standard way

Work a bunch doing shit you hate

Just to pay a few bills

Instead of listening to moron songs

Might as well, you’re fucked no matter what

But a little less fucked for a while

If you have cash to fuck around with




Create something original

While you still can

Hope for a better part of life

While you still can

Believe that you can make a difference

While you still can

You may be wrong

But at least you’ll try

You may not win

But at least you’ll try

You may have to deal with pain

But at least you’ll go down swinging




It’s easier to listen to The Beatles

Than Father Freaky Fat

People know The Beatles

Not your weirdo band

I can’t believe those freaks

Even had enough of a following

To justify putting out an album

Billions love The Beatles

You hear them on the radio

Father Freaky Fat

What a dumb name

Like they could ever make it

Then again

I guess some bullshit has been big before

But until I hear Father Freaky Fat on radio

Or see them on the MTV

I won’t respect them

Everyone knows

You have to be the best

To make it to radio or TV




The answers for many problems


Are only found


When we have the courage


To abandon the need


For absolute certainty


Before taking actions


Figuring out jokes


And how to hit


The right notes




The greatest song in the world


Is far better than this


It might be an okay song


It doesn't last too long


It won't bore you to death


But it isn't the best


It's just an average song


It will soon be gone


You'll remember catchier tunes


You'll forget about it soon


Too many songs sound almost the same


It isn't great it might be a bit lame


To be remembered a song must be top class


Instead of a throw away that shall pass




The finest musicians sacrifice

To play difficult scales,

Notes, and compositions

To perfection

But we live in an age

Where any fool can push a button

And play those same notes

To perfection

Youths often look foolish

Dancing to the latest radio hits

But the older one gets

They somehow find ways

To look even more foolish

When dancing

It’s nice to know

Even if we don’t achieve

Our individual dreams

There’s still great music

To be enjoyed

By billions of people




Brilliant movies were once made


Symbols of an era


Gone forever


They had Easy Rider


We've got Transformers 2


I hate to think what the future will hold


For my lame assed generation


The people who are gone


Can no longer speak


The people who are here


Don't say much worth hearing


Media stunts make us cynical


Our time will soon pass


Then the next generation will have to top


Fucking Transformers 2



At least I tried


I rarely lied


I often sighed

I finally died


The world crushed me


The girls hushed me


The world punished me


The girls banished me

My time was short


Your time is too


Do what counts now


Before you have to go




Jimi Hendrix is gone


Bill Hicks is gone


George Orwell is gone


Dali is gone


Chris Farley is gone


Richard Feynman is gone


Even Shaft is gone


All of my heroes are dead


Perhaps I should pick some live ones


Or get off my ass


And become a hero to someone else


Nah- That's too hard


Come on heroes of mine


Quit dying on me!




Enjoy the days of your youth


You're fucked when you're old no matter what


How many joyful working adults do you know?


Not fucking many I bet


What do they have to look forward to?


A boss telling them what to do?


A spouse telling them what to do?


Parents dying


Kids are trying


Buddies get old too


Gut grows


Hair falls out


Weight goes up


Things stop working


Fuck that


If you have to go out like that


No matter what anyway


Might as well enjoy youth


Take it for what it's worth


Live it up now


The future may never arrive


The present is the time to live


Do it now while you can


Tomorrow's guaranteed to no man


You can try to plan


But the world is messed up


Don't take work too seriously


You're going to die in the end


It makes no sense to suffer


Because you aren't good at things you hate


Do what you must to get by


Live out loud, embrace the night


You can live instead of shuffling papers


Pull off your own mastermind capers


Have some adventures when young


If you find a job better run


They mostly suck, you don't want that


Don't become a corporate stat


Don't say yes and get fat


Have some passion while you can


Lie in the sun and get a tan


Find what life means to you


Find out what you can do


Find out what you can about life


Try to avoid stress and strife


Life is short and time is passing


Don't waste life just amassing


More shit that you don't need


Live for your own creed


Do a few good deeds


Have a few good reads


You can work later if you must


Live a little before you're dust




The choices of life

Are nearly endless


Try to make good ones


Despite never knowing


How they'll turn out


Hope you have good times


Before you go away


Hope you live well


Before you see hell


Hope you live long


Hope you belong


Hope you want to try


Hope you never die



I’m finally going home


To see my family again


I’ve been working way too hard


At the whoopee cushion factory


Oh I just can’t wait to see Mom and Dad


My brother Drew and my lovely sis Jezebel


We’ll sing holiday songs


Eat some lovely fixings


And then we’ll throw water balloons at rich kids


Who think that they’re better than us


Home for the holidays


My family is so wacky


They give me coal stock for presents


And then shoot me with my old bb gun




I once had promise

I was good at playing ball


I got good grades easily


The girls seemed to like me


My parents made decent money


I had it good


But then things took a turn


I knew my life was changed


I heard that music


That Weird Al music


I knew I’d never be the same again


I started wearing Wacky Hawaiian shirts

Growing a fro


Until Weird Al grew his hair out


Then I did that too


I started hanging with Dr. Demento


I started hanging with nerds


Instead of silly young girls


I thought of Weird Al’s words


That lovely poetry


Of songs like Fat or Eat It


My god it’s so genius


I can’t get it out of my head


Weird Al is my hero


Weird Al is my life


Don’t care if they say I’m a zero


Don’t care if I can’t have a wife


I’d rather be an Al fan


One of the many proud


I’m an Al fan for life


I’m floating on a weird cloud





Music can be good


If a song really rock


It might make you laugh


If the singer shows their ass


Tunes might make you think


But more likely that you’ll drink


Music’s supposed to be a good time


Lots of guys feel the need to rhyme


But some not at all


Like Edward the prick


Listen to what you love


Heavenly music sent from above


Or maybe below


The devil tends to jam way better


His human team kicks ass


But whatever you like


Life’s too short to listen to a bunch of shit


If you do, you’ll regret it


Read a book from time to time


You might learn something new


Or be a bit less ignorant


Or at least not completely stupid


It might not change the world


But you can improve your mind


Once you can think for yourself


You start to realize new truths


Just because a book says it’s true


Doesn’t make it so


Just because a book is popular


Doesn’t make it right


Just because a book sells well


Doesn’t mean it’s written well


Books might make you laugh out loud


Books might make you check out the town


Fill your head with pleasant facts


Leave the morons to moron attacks\


You could be productive today


You could change the world


But you don’t want to do that


You want to watch another movie


Who could blame you?


The world’s pretty fucked up


The problems of billions


Aren’t likely to be cured


If you clock in at the office


People will still get sick


People will still die


So fuck it


Let some others work


You should watch another movie



Life is never ending laughs


Once you see how absurd life is


You can’t win


You can just tie for a while


Might as well smile


Laugh like a fool


You’ll never rule


You’re on the way out


No need to pout


Act a fool while you can


Fuck all of your plans


Life has bigger ones


They don’t include you


So have a chuckle


If you have luck you’ll


Get to laugh quite a lot


Before your life stops



I want to fuck her


2nd person- I want to fuck her too!


3rd person- I too would like to fuck her?


All- Well what are we going to do?


Why don’t we all fuck her?


Why don’t you fuck off?


I called her first?


She’s not a fucking parking spot.


Why don’t we see who she chooses?


It’ll have to be me.


Like you stand a chance


Maybe she’ll dig all three


Why don’t you go first?


Fuck you, why don’t you?


God you’re both pussies


Let’s see how you do!


Okay, I’m going to ask her out


Treat her like a lady


Yeah like that will work


You won’t even get a maybe


At least I’ll have class


Yeah, but no ass


We’ll just wait and see


Shit, when I’m laid you’ll see


Good luck to both of you with other women


Fuck you cocky prick


I hope you get warts on your dick


I love you too!




You can’t end like that


It’s just too tacky


You can’t end like that


It’s just too wacky


You should end with class


You don’t end like an ass


You should end on a great high


You should end before you die




You should get a haircut

You should get a job


Be like everyone else


Who’s a boring snob


Quit acting like a hippie


You’re a damn adult


Try hard to be a yuppie


Or failure is your fault


Quit claiming you love art


When you bum for rent


You need to finally start


Acting like a gent


You ought to be ashamed


You aren’t a fucking baby


You ruined your family’s good name


You’re worthless and way too lazy


Stop drinking and watching TV


Give something back to society


Or keep fucking over hard working folks


I hope you stay hungry and broke



I want to live the good life


I want to raise a family


I want to be a success


I want to be the best


I want to destroy my enemies

I want to see them die

I want to watch their eyes ooze blood


I want to see them burned alive


I want to see them tortured repeatedly


I want to see their suffering


I want to see their families slaughtered

I want to see their pets cremated


I want to see their communities wiped out

I want to see their cities bombed


I want to see their nations begging for mercy


Only to be crushed like the maggots they are


I want everyone I hate to die


And burn in hell for eternity

I want to rule the entire universe


I want to destroy all of the gods

So I can take their place

And do whatever I want




They say Mozart was a genius


I think he was boring


Tired of all that fancy old white boy shit


It got no style


It got no beat


It ain’t got shit on rap


That’s where it’s at


Listen to the words from the streets


Not the words from old dead white guys

What the hell did they know?


They’re way too old school




I could be a great man


I could act with class


But I hate the great men


They kiss lots of ass


Suck corporate dick for years


Get another degree


Trade freedom for cash


Full of so many fears


Fight to be the best?


Why try if you can’t win?


Rather be with the rest


So I can enjoy my sins


Don’t see the point to being number one


If you have to act like a bitch


Not worth it to lose who you are


Might as well be a snitch


Oppress the poor and foolish


Bomb lots of little brown kids


What kind of psycho are you?


How can you stand to live?


I’d rather be poor than corrupt


I’d rather be dead than live like that


I’d rather not serve evil masters


I’d rather be free and happy




Hey you


You know you’re going to die


Maybe not any time in the near future


But sure as hell someday

So you might as well take some time


To live before you go


Don’t waste time doing stupid shit


Might as well get used to it


You can’t win but you can fight


To battle for your very life


You should have some fun for a while


Fuck the bullshit, have a smile


Bound to lose but not to be lame

You can choose to strive for fame


Be a star and destroy a scene


Be a champ and live a dream


It may not last cuz nothing will


Laugh a lot before you’re killed


I’m sorry


My memory must be slipping


I do apologize


I never meant to hurt you


I can’t believe I did that


I never meant to crash


Your car 29 times


I never intended


To bulldoze your doghouse


I didn’t mean to leave your baby

Alone in the middle of the Sahara


Boy is my face red


I’m truly sorry

I can make amends


How about I buy you dinner?


We’ll be square then




I was born


Things were going okay


People looked out for me


I had things my way


But then I started talking


They sent me to stupid schools


I had to shape up or ship out


I had to obey mindless rules


I had to go get a job


I had to work instead of play


I had to let Big Brother rob


I had to sacrifice and pay


For the horrible crime of being born


I didn’t have a choice


I only coped with beer and porn


Never listened to advice


I realized that we’re all living


In mostly fear and awful pains


I realized that we’re all dying


No matter what our short-term gains




There’s lots a books


I can’t read em’ all


Just give me the gist of em’


So I’ll be richer than yall


I ain’t got time to read


That’s for yall


Just give me what I need


So I can get to the mall


I got enough to have my truck


I got enough to go huntin’ deer


I really don’t give a fuck


As long as I got my beer


Yall nerds can read if ya like


I’d rather be making cash


All them books can take a hike


I’d rather be smokin’ hash


I aint’ gonna read shit


I’m better off fer it


I’ll live while yall read


Yall in jail, I’m free


You better get ready


Coming to a theatre near you


The greatest movie of all-time

It will change your life


You won’t believe it

You’ll have to see it 27 times


That might not be enough


Trust us, you’re going to love it


With all of it’s cool stuff


It’s funny, it’s romantic, it’s new, it’s deep


It’s awesome, it’s scary, it’s real, it’s cheap


Better see Psycho Bitches from Hell 3


You won’t believe what you see!


Richard Pryor is dead


And George Carlin is too


But you have a new generation


Of comedy heroes


That you can worship who are new


There’s that one guy

Who make goofy faces


And that other guy who dares


To point out the differences


Between white people and black people


There’s that kid who makes sex jokes


And the gal who says men are pigs


And the guy from that one show


And the old guy who hates everyone


Don’t say that we don’t have comedy heroes


But don’t say that any of them are like


Carlin, Pryor, Hicks, Kinison


Or whoever your comedy heroes are



I want to fuck


I want to fuck you


I want to fuck you over there


I want to fuck you girl


That’s right you


The girl at that table over there


I want to fuck you


You specifically you girl


The girl who looks all hot


I want to fuck you


Erica Jackson


The one who lives at 132 Maple Alpine Drive



Hey I’m an artist

Don’t give me no shit


I can do whatever I want


And call it art


I can YELL


I can whisper


I can belch




I can let the band go on and on


I can recite epic Shakespearean like tragedy


I can do a bunch of lame impression

I can make a tasteless joke

I can pause for a smoke

But I don’t smoke

I can eat a piece of pie

I can jump up and down

But you can’t hear that


I can end it without you knowing why



I want to go some place better

I’m tired of this shit hole


I grow weary of the grind


Why don’t you take me somewhere better?


Goddamn this tropical island

Everything is so boring

Nothing here but sunshine and beaches

Take me somewhere interesting


I want to see these exotic places

With mini-malls and housing complexes


I hear that they’re a blast


I want to see a mall and some churches


Maybe hang out in corn field or two


Listen to country and western music


They both would be a joy


I want to go to a county fair


I’m tired of tropical paradise



Even the best that we’ve got


Won’t save your worthless ass


My God, I can’t believe you’ve made it this far


Science can’t help you

You might as well accept it


Someday you’re going to die


Oh, maybe you’ll get another 120 years in

But the universe owns your ass


You soon will be going down


Might as well get used to it


As horrible as it sounds


Your world will be replaced by new shit



There is no God

There never was


It should be obvious by now


No god cares about you


Why are there wars?

Why are you broke?


Why all the bores?

Because God’s a joke


You can’t win by praying

Watch idiots try


On Earth, you won’t be staying


Soon you’re going to die



The geniuses of humanity


Can serve as inspiration


Of all the great thoughts they’ve had

I simply have to wonder


What kind of tunes did they like?


Was it all of that queer classical?


What kind of movies would they watch now?

I bet they’d love Dumb and Dumber


Who did they find funny?


I bet the guy who pulled his finger


How did they get laid?

I bet however they could have


What kind of art did they like?

I bet they liked graffiti


What kind of food did they eat?

I bet it wasn’t tofu


Why did they have to die?


I guess they sucked as bad as the rest of us




They tell me food saves my life


I’m glad that it does


I like to eat a lot


I love chowing on pizza, burgers, and chips

But wait on a minute Jack says the doc

If you eat all of that

It’s going to kill you


But I thought it’s what keeps me alive

It is, but it can also kill you says the doc


Oh man, what a crock


I want to eat real good all day long


I don’t want any vegetables


I don’t care if they make me strong


Let the rabbits eat the rabbit food


I want to eat like a man while I can


So what I eat lets me stay alive


But it might kill me to deprive


So I’ll take my chances and eat like a champ


After all, I’m way too old for fat camp




Paying for clothes is absurd


You can find free clothes in the alley


They’re just as good as paying all that cash


You don’t want to look like everyone else anyway


Create your own style and laugh about it


You don’t have to look like the media says


Unless you have some stupid job


That says you have to uphold an image


Like anything we wear right now

Won’t look ridiculous to future people

What ridiculous arrogance


What non-sense demands


To get everyone to look alike


Outside of a sports team

SHELTER- I want a house

I want it to be nice

I hope it’s pleasant

I hope it’s all right


I hope it has a fridge


I hope it has TV


I hope I get a dream house


I hope I live to see it


So many people working hard

Saving their money, making plans


Busting their ass to make the grade


Going to school to learn a trade


You better do something soon


Your time could end any time


You better take the time to live


While you can before you die


Forget about waiting for permission


You better live right now

Forget about waiting for the right time


If it matters do it now


No time for patience


No time for bullshit

If it matters do it now


You better get right to it


There’s no way to do it all


Life is full of so much


You better do what you can


Before life takes it from you


Nothing you do will last


But you can still kick ass


At least for a little while

You might as well smile


Sure life is a losing battle

But don’t act like another cattle


Fight for what you believe in


Before life does you in


No time to do anything less


Live your life for what seems best



Dating a girl right after she broke up with Daryl Hall. - That’d be weird to see pictures of the two of them hanging up all over the place


Using "I'm a puppet" as an explanation!


Watching people schmooze to try to get ahead in a scene.


Watching people brag about doing free shows

Calling out Chaz about wanting to have sex for a whole day- "I think that would get rather tiresome and probably quite painful.Discussing organic chemistry as if I have any idea what the fuck I'm talking about.  Oh yes- compounds and chemicals and what not.


Me falling asleep on the couch while drinking gin.


Failing to live up to the high expectations of family members who wanted me to be a mouthpiece for god.  Talk about unrealistic expectations!




There’s no way to know if one is doing better than global competition in the arts, but there are plenty of ways to effectively measure sales records. 


Artistic success may not be the same thing as financial success, but the artists who are most well-known in the world today tend to also be the ones who are quite financially successful. 


Too many people forget their ideals when they get old enough to die naturally.  Perhaps this should be an indicator that death is a bigger deal to most of humanity than doing what we supposedly believe in most.


There are far too many people fighting for limited resources, opportunities, and parking spaces.


You are alive in a time when billions of humans are capable of maintaining survival, which means there’s even competition for resources as trivial as a t-ball trophy.


Terrible people can still win, because they have more focus and determination than people who are supposedly good, but weak.




MUSIC- It would be unique to have a jam session with 10,000 Carlos Santana fans in the loop.

BOOKS- It would be unique to be on a book tour with Hitchens, Ralph Reed, and Carrot Top.

MOVIES- It would be unique to be in a film with the relatives of Clark Gable, Carey Grant, Humphrey Bogart, George Lucas, Spielberg, etc.

COMEDY- It would be unique to perform with Lewis Black, a few radical Black Panthers, a Girl Scout troop, and a few Vegas magicians.

SEX- It would be unique to film a presidential porn shoot with women from every country


ART- It would be unique to produce art from each state that fits into a map of the USA

TRAVEL- It would be unique to travel in a submarine across the Bahamas just to hit up a booze party on every major island

SCIENCE- It would be unique to assemble some of the greatest minds to play Scrabble

ANTI-RELIGION- It would be unique to see how differently a religious debate is conducted in Saudi Arabia, The United States, North Korea, Sweden, and Brazil


PHILOSOPHY- It would be unique to pose difficult philosophical questions to either kids or uneducated folks who would have no idea what was being discussed


SPORTS- It would be unique to have professional teams combat in a sport that was different than what they usually play

GAMES- It would be unique to have a celebrity bingo game

FOOD- It would be unique to have an all you can eat challenge with my closest Chicago friends

CLOTHING- It would be unique to assemble 100 people to dress in period costumes and walk around for an hour in the same place and see confused reactions and get odd questions

SHELTER- It would be unique to build a house out of Jell-O

LIFE- It would be unique to live for one year on every continent.

DEATH- It would be unique to die in outer space.




Mike Nesteruk is finally dead

God, he didn’t do shit


Hurry up and get rid of him


Let a shark tear him apart


Eat his flesh so we can forget


His life and body smell like fart


If it were real he’d be in hell


But there’s no proof that it is, oh well


Leave this stinking corpse and go live




Who’s that lanky white boy who scares no one?



He’s a damn bitch.


Who is that wuss who lived at home til he was 25?




He’s a piece of shit.


Who is that punk who went broke in his thirties?




He’s so pathetic


Who was dismissed from a non-paying intern gig by a guy he barely knew via email?




What a loser.


Who is the man who never did a thing to help out anyone?




What a selfish prick.


They say this guy Mike is a completely worthless


Oh yeah.


I’m talking about a guy you never heard of


And that’s probably a good thing.


This fool Mike spent years doing nothing


Now it’s biting him in the ass


What an idiot.


If you see him kick him the shins


All right


Or maybe a nice smack to the head Koleno style


I will


Fuck it, he might not even be worth the energy


Good point


Maybe just let him die


Sounds good

Fuck you Mike


Fuck you Mike




We are completely over the top

Just to sell some stupid songs


We’re both fat and old


But our world is so bereft of good entertainment


You may actually find us interesting


I’ll reference an aging rocker


I’ll say that they were a god


But now it’s time for them to hand over a non-existent rock crown


Over to us


Even though we’re not that great


We’ll make a reference to hell


You’ll think we’re rebellious

Even though Warner Brothers backed us


To the tune of millions


We have no social significance

Just some silly bragging tunes


Not even funny if we were 14


But 44 even worse


But we’ll take your money


Thank you very much


You can go to hell now


Or back to your Mom’s basement


We’ll go to Malibu


Get high and eat buffets


Laugh on The Tonight Show


And celebrate American stupidity


The mindless fans of rock


Thanks again




I’m so alienated

And so are you

Maybe we can be alienated together


And we’ll alienate with a few


We’ll alienate the rich kids

We’ll alienate the jocks


We’ll alienate the teachers

We’ll alienate the cops


Then we’ll make some alienated friends


Get them to speak out


Then we’ll sell out Madison Square Garden

With our alienated flock


We’ll be alienated on MTV


We’ll alienate for cash


We’ll alienate from liberty


Then we’ll all be alienated at last



We’ve only got one song


Done 278 different ways


All of our fans know it


Hell, even a kid would


But we made this one song real good

Rocking forever so we don’t have to change it


Trashy blues rock is best


Listen to our singer squeal


The drum beat is rather consistent


And I think there’s some bass in there somewhere

We have a formula for success

We won’t deviate even a little


We know what we are


A rock band with rocking guitar


Maybe we’ll dress like schoolgirls


That would mean a lot


Maybe we’ll have a member die


We’ll replace him with a robot


Who looks and acts just the same


Quite predictable but never lame


We’ve conquered the rock game


All rock fans and songs should be the same




Satan isn’t so bad


He may have helped us with our band

We’ve made millions of dollars


Because people think we worship him


We really don’t


But he’s nice enough to leave us alone


He hasn’t even taken one penny


If Satan supports us


It’s a mystery to us


He hasn’t even joined our fan club


But we love his fans


They pretend to be dangerous rebels


But they usually just drink and pay 100 bucks a ticket


To hear our loud rock music from decades ago


Hey, whatever works


Whether it be ripping off people with Jesus or Satan


If you want to give up your cash

To get a little Satanic thrill


Be our guest


If being on Satan’s team on Earth gets tips like this


Sign me up for eternal hell



Believe it or not, other countries make music too


It isn’t just the U.S. and England


There’s great music all over the world

In fact, nearly all of it is better than the Billboard charts shit


But you’ll never hear it


If you don’t bother to listen to others not on radio


Give it a shot


It’s a big planet


Maybe the Chinese have a few good musicians


Out of more than a billion


Perhaps India has something to say


They’re over a billion now too


The Middle East has some great grooves


Don’t count out the soulful tunes of Africa


Hey South America might be fun too


Europe is bigger than the UK


Check out shit from Macedonia


They Aussies rock out all the time


Even without ACDC


Hell, even Antarctica might be worth a look


Bob Marley is cool


But he ain’t the beginning and end of world music


Give some other nations a listen

You might be amazed




Summer’s off


Falling in love with my beautiful baby


Life is just a joyful treasure


Now’s the time to have some pleasure

The gifts of life are never ending


The truths of life are done pretending


Life doesn’t have to be a struggle


Life should be an endless wonder


Taking it easy on my day off


Hanging out with my lovely baby


I will make today a treasure


I will make sure to have some pleasure


The good times of mine are never ending


With the non-sense of life I’m done pretending


My life is no longer a pointless struggle


Life has become an endless wonder




The universe is big


I’m so small


Adrift in the sea


Going where the wind blows


The wave will swallow me


Take me down under


Become one with the water


While it takes me away




Madness sets in the midnight hour


The power of words evokes my mind


Tranquility escapes me again


Acting as a channel for the universe


Corners of my mind bend and shake

The strangest trip of all


Contained within the mind


Nothing can settle me now

I have to rock right now


Let the music simply take over


Lose control while making life happen


Into another place in space


Forgetting the troubled past


Ready to move forward


By living in the now



Counterpunch with the Beach Boys

We can do better than that


Listen for inspiration

A change to be the best


A chance to do what’s never been done


Through an interwoven pop album


Check out all the psychedelic celebrities


We’ll have the fans at our feet


Nothing could be better


Than the products of our minds


Let it flow with joy and focus


Creating the magic of life


Inspire the youths of today


And tomorrow as it happens


It really didn’t know in the end


Two of us still left


Hope the joy crusades


In humanity for eternity



I’m going to go home


It’s been a long time


I have hope in my heart


I see Ma in my mind


Maybe lil’ sis will be around


Brother Drew and I will hit the town


Not a thing changed since I left


Same old folks doing the same


Kids playing in the yards


People cruising for a good time


Summer nights and BBQ’s


Swimming pools and little league


Middle American paradise


Full of alcoholics and Christians


Full of cornfields and county fairs


Man it takes me back


Glad to get back once in a while


I really should make time once in a while




Partying was a lot of fun


But we’re older now


That shit could actually kill us


That shit would actually kill us


Time to stay sober


But still time to rock


Time to grow up a little

But still time to rock


We aren’t saying kids shouldn’t


But older guys should quit


They look ridiculous doing that shit


Maybe time to settle down


You don’t have to be boring


But you aren’t 16


Maybe find a hobby


You don’t have to be like Ozzy


Living like him would kill most


Lucky your still around


Enjoy your new pace of life


While you’re still above ground




Funky feeling about you girl


You look at me the same


You turn my on like lightbulbs


I want more than that


I want you forever


We’ll rock the world tonight


We’ll keep going for life


We’ll burn amber bright


I love everything about you


You’re the one for me


I want to see into your soul


Only you can make me whole


We’ll never be apart


We can be the greatest lovers


We have to right now


I want you forever


We’ll rock the world tonight


We’ll keep going for life


We’ll burn amber bright




I was cruising on my segway in the middle of Mars

When I had thoughts of hacky sacks and candy bars


The biggest thing ever since sliced bread


Only existed then inside my head


Oh my lanta I have to write this down


This could save humanity or at least my town


The greatest idea that a human’s ever had


Nothing about it could be considered bad


Oh how rich I will be


Oh if only my parents could still see


I will be a hero for eternity


I will live forever oh so pleasantly


My new idea will save billions


My new idea will make all millions


No more pain and no more death


Things are going to be all right now


Nobody has to worry ever again


My idea will bring heaven on Earth


And anywhere else we want to go


But oh no!


I don’t have a pen or paper


I hope I remember my idea later




You are a sinner


You’re terribly wicked


You should be repenting


You’re awfully evil


Where is your shame?

Why are you immoral?


You deserve eternal hell


You’ll burn forever


You aren’t forgiven


You wicked sinner


You aren’t forgiven


You evil pagan


You aren’t forgiven


Someday you’ll fry




I want to see a better world


But I’m troubled by what I see


I can’t deal with all the pain


Hard to see in the world today


I want to have a peaceful world

That gives a beautiful life


But I see so many struggling


Makes me wonder why


Things don’t have to be so bad


But we’ve given up hope


I feel for the ones who live with pain


But I can’t cure everyone


I’m no messiah


I’m not even a doctor


But I want to help a few


Before I end up just like them




Help me out brother


We can make things better


We don’t have to pray


We can work together


To do something for ourselves


Through the troubles

Through the pain


We’ve got each other


To make it through the strain


We can make life better


It’ll be all right


Forget about the whining


Let’s work to evolve today



I see a man across the room


He’s looking at me strangely


I don’t know what to make of it


Maybe he wants some change


Maybe he’s selling papers


Perhaps he’s a crazy train


Why did I ride the subway?


I could’ve taken the bus

Don’t know if that’d be better


This guy is still looking at me


Maybe I look like a friend


Maybe I look like his barber


I guess I could talk to the guy


But that would be too easy


I’d rather guess about him


If he comes and talks to me

I’ll have to say something


I guess I’ll start with hey


And improvise from there


Sure that settles it


Wait he’s looking at another guy


I guess he wasn’t that into me



Earth is a strange place


But not as strange as space


I just want to know my place


On Earth or outer space


I look to the skies for answers


But they don’t have none


I look to the ground for clues


But they don’t have none


I don’t know where else to look


I can’t walk to outer space


I can’t swim the entire ocean


But I have to have a place


I can’t be adrift in space


I asked for some kind of sign


But all I saw was stop


And a little bit of yield


But I can’t stop


And don’t want to yield


I want to go


I want to grow


I want to live


I want to give


Please just tell


Where I’m supposed to be


Then I’ll be happy


And live with joy


Just like a boy


In the strange place


Of Earth and space




I’m such a weirdo

I don’t really care


I just want to laugh at life


I have to be this way


I want to leave my home


I want to see the world


Maybe there’s people like me


In another place and time


But maybe not


I might be all alone


I want to hang with other weirdos

They really make me laugh


I think they’re out there somewhere


But not in my mundane town


I have to set out on my own


They’re in the cities


Unless movies and TV lie


The numbers are in my favor


Too many people to be normal


I think cities would make most crazy


So that’s where I’ll go


To find my weirdo tribe



Getting free


Never die

I want to fly

And see in God’s eyes


I know I can

Take control


The story’s flowing


I’m growing bold


I see the golden light


I see it shines for me


Embrace the blissful feeling

That lives inside me


I feel the Earth


Rock and roll


I want to rock


Along with it


I feel nothing but love


Ecstasy from above


And some from below

Nothing can top this


Best I’ve ever felt


Limbic system in overdrive


The wonders of this life


I know I’ll love this moment


As long as I embrace sunshine


The time of life is now


No need to look back


Visions of unbridled beauty


Will be with me forever




Overcome the struggle


Do all that you can


You might lost the battle


But you have to give it your all


Heroes are willing to fight

For what they believe is right


Life is too important to dismiss


You have to stand for right


No time left to waste


There’s too much violence


Power hungry madmen


Kill too many poor


If we’ve really evolved


Why’s there still war?


Grow into something better


Before your time runs out


Natural to have doubt


There’s some scary stuff


But visions of what could be


Should inspire you and me


We can create a better world


But it ain’t gonna be easy


Get ready to do what counts


The trouble mounts


What will you do?


Before you’re through?




Playing my heart on my guitar


Makes me feel real good


I know that I’m a guitar god


I can feel it in my mood


I have business to tend to


I know I’m all around


The main thing is to be a hero


Nobody can touch me at all


The rocking never stops

I have to kick ass

The tangent is never over


Being your mind


The reasons are all excited


There are thieves of the night


Life is just a joke

The people who know


We have a fate to face

It might not be amazing


Better live while you can


Because you can’t stay amazing


Life is to be lived son


Make it count right now


You’ll live in regret if you don’t


Try to make a mark somehow


The passion of life is stirring

The greats speak through songs


The only way to live out loud


For the ones who bow down

The greats teach much to those who listen


You have to open your mind

Ignore all the bullshit


And focus with your time


The wind was howling with laughter


You never really know why


Time to stand-up and be great


Live out loud while you can


To beat the winds of time




You leave me


You leave me yet again

I got less than nothing


You took off with what little we got again


I don’t get you baby


I try and try and try


I never get anywhere without you


I have to wonder why


But then you up and leave me


Leave me with even less


It’s all just a guess


I still think you’re the best


But you rip my heart straight out


I’m left full of doubt


You tear me apart inside


Left me again just to die




Tripping on a cloud


In the bright blue sky


Not a care in the world


No reason why


Living is so easy


Trying is too hard


Thinking about tomorrow


Never know what goes by


Men are sometimes baffling


They don’t always know why


The difference in the ways


Is enough to count for then


Vague ideas of the mind

Plague my troubled species


Staring at the walls


While hoping to conquer Earth






Feel funky funk yall


Funk is the best


Funk will heal all wounds


Funk is the best


Funk redeems you


Funk will lift


Funk makes dreams for you


Funk solves rifts

Funk it up


While you still can


Funk it up


Like a good man


Funk for ladies


No discrimination


Funk for babies


Across the nation


Funk for people


Is just right

Funk for aliens


Funk in flight


Funk it up


Funk forever


Funk through life


Funk is heaven




Super pimp


You are the man


You don’t take no lip


You are a hero to all the manly men

Who beat up their bitches


Hard to get why all men ain’t pimps


The money is oh so good

The hours could be improved


But it’s all part of being the best


Got to get the rest


That hoe’s money is yours


You don’t bust some ass


You gonna be real poor


Pimp that bitch like Microsoft


See that shit everywhere


Anyone who ain’t a pimp


Ain’t nothing at all in this world


Pimp until the day the man caps you


Pimp all night and day


Pimp unless the man takes you


Pimpin’ is the only way


To the pimp gods I pray


Motherfuckin’ amen



It’s so pretty


I’m feeling good


Life is so wonderful


In my neighborhood

Embrace the day


It’s so sweet


Grab your best girl


Time to eat


The fruits of pleasure


Wine is flowing


Life is a treasure


The sky is glowing


Life can be so grand


You have to take a stand


Make your own life bliss


A never ending wish


Hendrix Risked


There must be a life worth living


I want to find it before death


I have to scream and cry out


In the world while I can


Nothing could stop me


Except for awful dying


I have to keep on trying


Before I get to dying


Death is a thief


It robs us all


Death is a grief


Takes away yall


Beach Ways


I’m a pebble in the sand


Being kicked by the wind


Going nowhere special


Just around for a bit


I’ll be swallowed by the sea


Tossed around by waves


Don’t know where I’m going


But no pebbles do


Weird Alien


I was brushing my teeth on Mars

When I got an idea for cars


I thought that maybe I should leave right then


But I wanted more oxygen


I had to struggle to go back in time


I had a new car on my mind


I’ve been waiting far too long


If I can afford to brush my teeth on Mars


I should afford myself a brand new car


I could drive a Lexus and be happy


Or maybe a limousine


I can’t wait to get back to Earth


I’ll drive whatever I want


I’m so lucky I just can’t wait


To get back from this Mars space race




They Might Beat Giants


Give me a drink


I don’t want to think


I want to suck down

Some liquid


I need a drink right now


I’ll drink anything I can


I’ll drink a drink from Japan


I’ll drink a drink with a man


I’ll drink a drink from a can


I need a drink right now


Drinking makes me happy


Drinking makes me sappy


Drinking makes me silly


Drinking makes me hillbilly


I want a drink right now


Drink with me

Drink for free


Drink it up


Drink my cup


I want a drink right now




I watched some videos


They call it YouTube


I really like it


It’s funny stuff


Raps from Transformers


Amazing soccer goals

Clips of TV shows


It’s got it all


Songs from across the galaxy


Movies from the 80’s


Stupid clips of famous folks


Crazy pets doing tricks


People are just wacky


Make no sense at all


I think I’ll watch them on YouTube


And have myself a ball


Boing go


Use your brain


It helps out


Life sucks less


When you think


Brains are good


Have good thoughts


Love your mind


It’s super


Brains for you


They kick ass


Brains can help


You live in an intelligent manner that brings consistent benefits to a rewarding, productive, and pleasurable lifestyle


Mocking Heads


Going out


It can be quite a thrill


I want to go and have some fun


I feel great


Taking off into the night


I bet a good time will go down


Come on


Come join me going out


Come on


We’ll dance drink and shout




In the Earth

There are wicked fools


They make the rules


That lord over us


We must fight back


We must resign


Comforts over freedom


Unless we’ll die


There’s nothing to say


We have to act


Trouble is upon us


Time to attack


Gaye For Marvin


The world’s full or problems


The world’ full of pain


How can we escape it?


Sunny days turned to rain


We all need help brother


We need to be strong


I don’t know how to get


All yall to get along


Trouble tends to find us


And we all have die


It’s no wonder so many crazies


For a little money they lie


Trouble in front of us


Trouble always behind


Got to find something good


Before we all die

Stevie Wonderful


My lovely lady


You are looking real fine

My lovely lady


We should sip some fine wine


My lovely lady


We should dance until they dawn


My lovely lady


I’ll love you til the day I’m gone


We will take a trip to


The exotic place that you love


We will have some joys in


A pleasant view from above


My love will never end


My joy will always be here


My love I will send


A lovely song for you to hear


Motown again


I love you baby


I think you love me


I love the life we have


I love the times we have


Let’s keep on loving

Loving all the time


Loving’s the best idea


That we’ve ever had


Love me forever


You know I’ll love you


Love stands the test of time


Love will take us through


Love is the greatest feeling


Greatest feeling of all


Love is the mighty force


Love means all


The Jays


I love you in the morning

When you wake up so gently


I’ll caress you


I’ll whisper into your ears

I’ll massage you into the morning light


Wake up my beautiful lady


The day waits for you


Spread your sunshine to the world


Give the day a gift




Funky days are upon us


Funk from above


The holiest funk around


Commands you to get down


Move, groove, shake that ass


Shake whatever body parts you can


Shake until you’re an old man


Time to get down


Time to get funky

Time to move round


Time for living funky


Jams Brown


Get to the beat


Get to the heat


Feel it in your soul


Feel the rhythms roll


The beat lives inside you


The beat is oh so sweet


Music is the gift of life


Makes everything all right


A Green


Hey there girl


Been thinking about you


Missed you so much


You’re the reason I live


I just want to be with you


As long as we can


I’ll give it all for you


We can make life grand


Set Pistols


Don’t look at me


I don’t need your bullshit


Don’t give a damn


I think you’re a wanker


Go to your fancy school


Go to your fancy house


I hate all of your kind


You think you’re better than us


Rules are all non-sense


Live how you want


Go to hell to the system


Go to hell with you all



I don’t get this big world

I don’t get it at all

I don’t know why we’re all here


It makes no sense at all


I’ll go out into the world

I’ll do what I can


But I’ve failed to get it


I just don’t know why we’re here


Maybe no one does


Maybe it doesn’t matter


Life is going to get to me


As long as I stick around


Beat less


Float the circles of your mind


The answers are waiting for you


The life can be divine


If you circle within your mind


Give the world a better way


Don’t let life pass you by


Unlock the powers of mind


Watch the world start to shine

Leud Zeppelin


March to the beat of the rock n’ roll


Where loonies cry and big men go


I will be a god


I will win

I will spin


I’ll go and take over


All we want

All we are


We will become if we push through




Buddy Young Guy


Stuck in this town


It’s not looking good

Got nowhere to go


Nothing to see


Just trying to get some bread


So I can get out


But I got my doubts


Might be here again


Moyel Crue


I did a lot of drugs


I did a lot of rock

I kicked a lot of ass


I took over whole towns


But now I have to settle down


Unless I can still rock


Forget about settling down


I’d rather die rocking


The world is going to love


My awesome leather pants


Who doesn’t love


The way I sneer and shout


I’m so awesome

I’m so all-time great


I will crush the pretenders

And rock for all my life

Black Saab bath


Leaving town, not coming back


All I got is my backpack


Going away, going for good


Have to fight to live in this world


Walking through the dark of night


Heard a sound in awful fright


Saw a flash of light that passed


Got sick of wandering at last

Near vana


I don’t like the way things are


I don’t like stupid guitars


I hate everything I see


I don’t want this world to be


Stupid world stupid games


Stupid life stupid hate


I don’t want to live like this


I don’t want to miss


Tenacious Defensive Actions


Rock is the king of all

Bow down before you lord


Nothing is so powerful


As the sound of rock and roll


It will crush your puny gods


It will destroy your silly cash


It will laugh at your powerful leaders


It will kick the army’s ass


Rock is the mother of all

And the father of all too


Rock is the only thing that makes life worth living

Rock is the greatest gift to all


Rock forever

Rock can never die


Rock will outlast the cockroaches


And all of space and time






I don’t know if I’m a dude or a chick


I look a little like both


I like to sing like a chick


But my speaking voice is deep


I confuse even my relatives


But people find me sexy


Doesn’t matter that I’m short


Doesn’t matter that I’m weird


Doesn’t matter that I’m getting older


People still find my super-sexy


They should build me a museum


I am the greatest of all-time


I’m the only king and queen of music


My royal legacy lives on for eternity


In the name of the blessed one



Jackson Numbers


I look into your eyes


I want you to take me back


Call me at home and tell me so


I want you to make me right

I want you to hold me tight


Call me up and take me back


I love the thought of us again


We’ll be so happy and then

We’ll get married and have some kids


Loving you


Is best for sure


Call me up


And ask me so


Courtesy Mayfield


Brother down the block

He’s selling that rock


Trying to get ahead


But might end up dead


Fearing for his life


Might have to use his knife


To get a bit more cash


His life has become trash


So sad to see a brother down


Many brothers like him in town


Why is the man still around


Let’s get to keeping him down


One more brother dying trying


No more brothers lying and crying


Let’s stand up and fight back


The man better watch his back

Isaac Haze


Who’s the white trash hick who’s ignored by all the chicks?




He’s damn right


Who is the man that would risk his neck for no other man?




What a bitch


The Who dunnit


I went into town

I bought a few pints of whisky


I sucked them down


And went back to my hotel room


I blew the shit out of everything I saw


I crashed a limo in the pool


I partied into the night yet again


I heard the hotel will ban us for life


I’d like to see them try to ban


The friends of our lunatic drummer


I must admit, perhaps we went too far


But who cares when we play this good


We should destroy what we want


Nobody cares if rock stars are dicks


We can do whatever we want


The Poors


You are going to die


Nobody really knows why

Why we’re here at all


Your life is passing to a crawl


Life is nothing but a flash


Universe tosses out our ash


We all have to pay the price


The harsh demands of life



LIST OF SONG TITLES                          


Kiss me, I hate the Irish


Fuck your band


Yet another goddamn love song


I love you more than disco


I never abused drugs, I used them


Portable crapper


Quit all jobs


Quoth the ravin’


Dr. Dre is really keen


Fool me three times, I’m a real fool


I came, I saw, I farted


Heaven must be missing an average looking woman


I love you way too much to marry you


Lazy roommate awards


Dance with death, refuse the after party


Fortune 500 janitors


Vague song


Only fools still write songs


Not even half-assed song


Pardon me while I take a shit


Polite people are a different version of asshole


Number one songs somehow suck


Internment summer camp sucks


Guilt free lard


How can you tell new age songs apart?


Feel my largest organ (My skin babe)


You can’t fuck everyone


Kiss me if your parents approve


Aimless CEO’s


Pre-school dropouts


Drinking with Bin Laden


Nudity is only sometimes a crime


How to lose friends and influence no one


Filibuster radio

I’m addicted to myself

Curious George learns awful truth


Tony Danza sings William Shatner


Terrible, shameful, awful music

You put the cunt in country music

I wish my dick was as big as your heart

Life touched me in weird places

The most boring game


My fashion is weekend sports casual

I write the wrongs


Mull over my mullet


Deep fried Southern mullet


Mullet brigade is loose


How did we invent the mullet?


Billionaires don’t wear mullets


Loose lips sunk my battleship


Fuck you pretty boy


Being the universe’s test subject

Hell isn’t needed to scare people in Tijuana

Creationists need to evolve


If God helps you, why do you suck?


Jesus: Friend or slave master?


Faith in money over God


Open your mind to my cult

My god has the biggest dick

People better than Jesus

God thinks you suck

God needs cash

God’s so funny he kills me




I’m tired of faking for you


Ask my lawyer bitch


I’m glad you’re dying


Awful things we said


Bear down coach?


Bad athletic advice


Phony numbers from chicks


Bad business ideas


Every job is temporary


You have no permanent address (You’re going to die)

Poetic injustice


I think you’re repulsive


Too many birds nowadays


Tired of the same old shit


Kiss my broke ass


Shop til U quit mindless consumerism


Half-off coupon experience


Treat your baby better than your outhouse


No call, no show, no dough


That’s my pet bird bitch!


You’re wrong again


Dumb fuck all stars


The pen is mightier than some crayons


Illegal fireworks display


Riot cancelled, let’s obey


Mind controlling music


This song makes me superior

Forget you’re broke         


Listen to jet take off


We can do better than country


Fuck Billy Ray


Loudmouth mimes


Opinionated Losers


Hiding from lawyers


No fizzy cola


Luxury Sedan asshole


Suck enough wiener yet?


Soap opera quality


Tighten my tattered belt around your fat ass


Huge tits and chances


All I want is the universe


I hate when perverts sing be my baby


Can’t accept this contract universe


Indian chief executive


The feeling is mutual


Nursing home rebel


Flunked another test


Why’d I bother with High School?


Bless the atheists


Coat hangers are bad doctors


Devil in Preacher’s clothes


Everyone’s obsessed with food


Guilt is for assholes


Loud, lewd, proud, nude


Nag me later


Ugly truths about pretty gals


Violent Amish


Wheat germ germs


Kill all mikes


Loan shark junkees


Dishwashing badasses


Dunk tank all-stars

Stare at walls


Filet of Wish


Nine minus 7 irons


Corporate whores


Mall cop pricks


Illegal jaywalkers


Polka Pimps


Awkward Pause


Lost Bets


Weird Mike Happening


Bubble duel


Already Ate


Last party


Praise the Chords!


List of odd music jobs


Triangle Player


Agent for harp players


Record producer (What the hell does that mean anyway?)




Psyched for beef tacos


Light that fart


Laugh at Fuckers


Chicken shit corporation


Attack morons


Tofu is murder


Genocide ain’t a good idea


Have some balls man!


Dash babies against stones- inspired by The Bible book Psalms


Kobe Bryant Blues


100 mill less than LeBron


Poorest planet


Kiss my stock portfolio


Move that mountain with faith con artist


Vegetarian propaganda


New Age music often blows


Healing powers my ass


Greetings from my head


Good to meet you Chucky


Glow in the dark lies


Hang more than ten


Hungover heroes


Intelligence not required


Illegal aliens should aim higher


I owe you money?


Cocaine is for winners


Pop songs murdered


Church bullshit


Invisible men don’t watch you


Create a disturbance


Churches should pay taxes


Reparations to humanity


Mistake riddled species


No time for shit


Bad advice to school kids


Bra stuffing


Bisexual animals


Rock star wills


What a crap book


Cool ass Spaghetti Western


Funny standup comic


Jump to more than conclusions


Jailhouse cock


Jilted lovers love ballads


Kill the Bible


Kentucky scares the hell out of me


Kite flying on a lazy war ship


Kriss Kross is still jumping


Mundane fall lineup


Wannabee TV exec


Biggest dick ever


Classic lust song


False messiahs are funny


Geography is bitchin!


Get smart stoopid!


Fox News is amazing


Grocery bill blues


Soul sistas unite for tea and crumpets


Ninja kicks politician


The Federal Reserve should die


Young Republicans are really sad


Live like an ant queen


Edit this scene


Improvising bastards


Too cruel for the stage


Perverts on parade


What’s the meaning of this?


When’s lunch?


Year long anniversary


ZZ bottom


Pro-choice for viruses


Random bag check my ass


Kill Mr. Mustard


Take a fucking chance


Evict billionaires


Full moon loony express


Mundane becomes funny


Shower solo


Dog barking better


Will you pay for this?


Dreams of beer and sitting around


Middle class bullshit


Bragging about so little


Sing your ass off


Fucking up is what we do


Companions are friends


Fifteen year old comedy sketch


Few like 1930’s jokes


Times have changed, you haven’t


Tacky beach towels


Good citizens don’t pay taxes


Ethics are better than religion


Elope the right way


Make jail fun


Car salesmen should die


TJ’s funnier than Leno


Cosmos is better than Price is Right


Marx Brothers got shit done


Babe Ruth isn’t a babe


I’m glad the emperor of Japan is no longer divine


Worship the one true God, KFC


Ugly people may be banned


I thought Hollywood was against ugly


Crude ideas


Morgan Freeman acted his ass off


Wow- Marlon Brando


AWOL from AWOL Patrol


Too inside reference song


The roof isn’t really on fire


Stop attacking my potatoes


Popularity is a dumb contest


Jesus isn’t watching


Hey dipshit


Win at bingo


Trademark this bitch


Humans are neat


Hell is meant for you


This bud’s for me


Losing your hair and mind


Agnostics can’t sell out


You seem to know nothing


Irish pubs are overrated


Craziest fuckers


Don’t take advice


Dance a jig Morty


Drink more loser


Drugs make life better


Don’t eat old fish


Long ago I was cool


Biblical death count


Hope I’m wittier before I die


Poker for fat white chumps


Milhouse is a part of us all


Angus Young’s also a rocking accountant


Give The Simpson’s another 20 years


Krusty is a hero


Green pens work best


Wacky neighbors attack


Community college ain’t so bad


I want a family with rhyming names


Bushy mustache neighbor


Same stupid green sweater


Scream like a little girl


Forgive me Satan


Call your Mother!


Court is hell


Finally not sucking


Title forgotten


Worth every penny, except when I was ripped off


Forts are fun


Hip cats to motherfuckers


Stop being such a pussy


Candyland champion


Chainsaws may cause damage


Dance semi-nude


V club membership revoked


Vote for no leaders


I just fucking swept


Win by competing with losers


I’d rather be immortal


Older than TIVO


Odors should be banned


Owe no one shit


Oak trees are liars


Represent my hood congressman


Variety is a crappy spice


Why is there a holy book?


Trucking all night long


Concept albums blow


Angels are bullshit


Age before ugly


T-ball strikeout


Blow me and everyone you love


Boldly go where only a few hundred have gone before


That’s my toe


Failure is an option


Sucky years in review


Try harder dipshit


Song titles are hard


Delights for flights


Devilishly delicious death ditties


Don’t say no


Free the ass, the mind will follow


Leave a mark better than skid marks


You’re nasty


Is it possible to rip yourself off?


Borscht Belt BARGAIN Blues


Diss the non-homies


Don’t we have enough songs?


Classy table cloth on a shitty table


No longer off pitch


The best ants mean little to us


Goodbye friends and pricks


Sell out for a muffin


If you want to be better


Key chains by Valdez


My crappy Taurus rocked


Testimony against humanity


We had a cola war?


Holidays are generally stupid


Church is over


Dress like Devo

You’ve been a fool

 Praise no Lord


End times still on delay


Boner patrol duty


Instrumental with lyrics


You don’t have to watch popular shit


Dare to be Intelligent


Stuck in a closet with Weird Al


Polka until you die


The glass is half-empty and half-full


Ridiculous list song


Mock the flavor of the week in song


My boner for you is like Waffle House, 24/7!


Life’s too short not to be funny



Fear is waiting kids


Not as good as Coltrane


Tough times Tim


Irate over interest loans


Useless genius


Calf strain blues


Mindless Republicans


Eat politicians


Death to Earth


Fight for a better planet


Trippin’ on Ringo


Falling into billions


Quench my thirst


Guilty as OJ


Question liars


Running away from bad health


Support things that are good


Refuse to give into the man


I have the titles


Now what?

Too much tide


I get square


Too young to take things seriously


Laugh at life


Nobody cares

Who ever heard of that?

Are you serious?

Temporary folks


I want to chill at the beach


Open school


Napkin express


Nothing you can do


Chasing a mild dream


Realistic dreams probably aren’t dreams


Sell no one out


Are you ovens on?


Obstructing justice


Lost track of time


End by reading


Advice for geniuses


Cut deficit spending


Creative visions implode


Death is bad


Get over yourself


Depend on no one


Don’t waste your time


You could be wrong


Tip your waitress


Bargain basement prices


Scalp those tickets


Living in Chicago


Living in Ohio


Living in Wyoming


Contemplate the universe


Tess is awesome


Lost a friend


I can’t believe


Fight to live


Police blotter


Plug your movie


We all have some ideas


Too few live well


Fear isn’t good


Random chaos


Time is never enough


Live to play


Fail more successfully


Don’t be smug


I never knew


Watch it junior


Fellow Americans


Smile at babes


Open daycare


There’s no way

Forging ahead


Regret of past

Non-expert opinion


Studied for years


Magic of life

Drink to forget


There’s no shame


I ate fried chicken


I ran with Blago


I saw OJ Mayo


Andy Dick crashed my girlfriend’s b-day


I saw Jeff Garlin live

Media darlings aren’t always great


Nervous get used

Template for success


Production company up rise


Know your place in the world

Advance better ideas

Practical for no one


Best ides tend to win

Float it by me


Time to die

Mention Red


Character actors


Bothered by West Jeff


Racism makes no sense


Illogical beliefs


How to avoid traps

Constant supervision

Can’t afford college


Not always good to be human


Discretionary income


Make clothes fit

No I in Israel


Why’d you lie?

How could I be so blind?

What do I want most?

A tough line of questioning


Resources are scarce


Shoot it now


Dedicated to money


Review of humanity

I’d like to travel


Time’s limited


Precious peaches


A girl in Cleveland


Grew up poor


Second City was odd


Took some risks and failed


I want an answer


Enable a better day


Float the mind


Decide now genius


Genies grant paltry wishes


Bark on doggie


Papers out of order


Molded for mundane

Prepare to be invaded


The struggles


Will it ever get better?


I quit before I lose


I quit while breaking even


Cancelling my own agenda


Reformat better than ever


I made a contribution

Proud of a little


Took a chance


For the loved ones


I surrender


New day, new bullshit


Pen is mightier than broken swords


End this charade


We have a lot to do before lunch


Advertising is a great evil


Dangerous corporate war


No excuses for your bullshit


Hate the haters


Splatter paint


Quotable movies


Not much left


Help the fellows

Gentle Gentiles


Reduce worry


Forget pretention


You had a good run


Laugh at Pete


Pretty pictures


Think now Einstein


Eat a pound of chocolate


Wear a t-shirt


Buy a house


Soccer hooligans


Joyous occasions


Systems of government


Buzz words


Can anyone win forever?




Ripping Off Original Sin                        


Cast iron piece of shit


Watchin’ footy


Golden Globe lifestyle


Award shows are meaningless


Manufactured cultural meaning


Dissidents dissed again


Shape up, don’t ship out


Mundane days


Wronged by judges


The Bible isn’t true


Swear on a book better than The Bible


Scissors handled safely


Juvenile genius


You can make money doing that?


Geeky accordion nerd becomes millionaire


How’d that honky learn to rap?


Booty Green existed


Trouble with nightclubs


Good times may not last


Beach Boys in a Pat Boone world


Pat Boone scares the hell out of me


Elvis wasn’t king


Luck be a lustful lady


Touched by more than angels


Late 90’s nostalgia junky


Why are alerts red?


Dabble in astrophysics


Judge coloring books by their cover


No need for a leader


Millions succeed and you don’t?


What’s the problem barkeep?


Get anything but a job


Topical humor gone rank


News show gone to hell


Mock superiors


Take advantage of oxygen


Seize the 16 hour work day


Cypress Hill was fucking cool


Save us transhumanists!


Aliens: Idiots or brilliant to avoid us?


Talk show hosts are needy


Wash your mouth out with me


Yoga on DVD


What a sick culture


Jot down thoughts, maybe they’ll care


Make a tiny, tiny difference


Lives are at steak- yeah steak, not stake


Pretty in all shades but pink


MC Escher to MC Hammer


Scottish beer company


I devoted my life to this?


Fucked up freedom


Love them or hate them?


Selling out, buying in, or bumming


Digging through rich people’s trash


If I sold my soul I’d be richer?


How to increase profits on selling your soul


Nawlin’s wilder than Vegas


Southern prejudice is funny


Canadians are so friendly


Hanging with missionaries


Feign interest


P. Hound you rock


Living in your head


Stay Away from Taco Hell


Clearly you misunderstand my violent outburst


I hate your beliefs


So wrong


I’d like to but a vowel


What to have for lunch?


Life Cycles


Peace movements fight back?


Know when to bow out


Clever on the spot


Familiar cultural references


O’ Jays Oh my


You’re not quite as much of an asshole as you think


Time to move on


Consider the artificial lilies


Dance in places safer than streets


Hectic lack of work schedule


Don’t sweat the bigger than planet Earth stuff


Etch a Sketch comedy sketch


Respect toll change collector


How’d you settle for this?


At least I tried to have joy


Go Southern Greek


I’d like to tell you about…


Thanks for life Ma


I like talking to Drew


Sitcom knowledge doesn’t always help


Sketch comedy gods


Improvise your life


Battle of the air bassoonists


Weirdest songs ever


Old timey reference


Missing the show

Front row tickets to spectacle


College laughs


Old pranks


Weber and the orange underwear


J scared swimming spectators


Kurt’s protected by angels


Consuelo’s logical


Ranting Doig


Marx’s pretty lashes


Matt O is studying again

Turkey dinner leftovers


Mad drive to Po’ Folks


What happened to my youth?


Stupid class


Dorm trash talk


I hope they get a meal


Champ of the late night underground wrestling


Rain by DAAP


Running for clarity


Quality Chinese soccer


Engineering is dull


Kenyon’s dunking


Cat face makeup


Paper cup escapade


Cinco De Fino


Tennessee wedding haircut


Arnold Palmer makes a great video game


All you can eat burgers


You bitch about free food?


Murrell’s vast CD collection


Orbit disappeared


Who will make it?


Get your degree dumbass


Smokin’ with Dials


Peters picked me up


I don’t know where I live


Drunk enough to forget


Time travel in Ohio


Another fucked up kid


Disturbing truths


Got to go to work


Please don’t AWOL


Third shift may kill you


West Side bar stories


This place is as good as any


Read another book


Virginia Beach road trip


Travel the globe


Surf Bondi


Soccer’s big here


Don’t forget Arian


Nearly a Welsh girl


Throat slit in Barca


Cuban women, good Lord


Sangria dreams


Cheap wine and expensive fries


Dancing in the park


Wacky morning DJ


Play the part of whoever


Acting is hard work


Cheech not Chong


Grin from ear to Jim Carrey


Kiss but don’t makeup


DeNiro’s still great


Morgan Freeman express


No butt for him


Media isn’t meant for this


Do me a favor


Cite the works of Pauly Shore


The Constitution can be amended


Much love bro


Tell Ma I said hey


Have a good day babe


Be more original than I love you


Love’s highly irrational


Tribute to everyone


Clip on bow tie


Just a footnote in time


Glory for Morey


Fuck me


Reality’s twisted


More mistakes


On cue


For the peeps


Mystery trip


Settle down you two


Frankly Frank’s frank


Shake the fist


So what if he sucks?


Diving ruins soccer


Cut from team


Endless production


Drama king


Blown speaker


Too imaginative


Years ahead of time


Nothing to say


Losing sleep


Healthy, not wealthy or wise


Lip gloss does no justice


Playing in Ohio


Years it took


Capital idea Chet


Nothing to dance about


Picasso was all right


Indifference of the world


My favorite groundskeeper


Skinner’s such a wiener


Martin Prince could kick your ass


Homer is my hero


To live like Homer


Homer went bowling


Middle class slob


Bald with gusto


Don’t hit on Maude


Doh is the word


Sold soul for cheap


What a crappy missionary


Pray before you’re judged


Homer’s been everywhere


Flanders served God


Judgmental as Ned


Physical comedy


Broken printer

Why give that focus?


Algebra serves no purpose


End up in detention


Made up language


Phone tag blues


Travel to new places


Bill Maher in a bull market


Contemplate no more


Scared to death


Flea bass


Supple bosom


Loose morality


Lie to me asshole


Never threaten cops


Don’t worry about bank robbers


Conspiracy theories build up


Lagging behind


Hip cat squared


My phony homie


Steal from Pac


Tacos are a man’s best friend


Too many cooks


Swear on Satanic Bible


Laugh at my friend


Go to your garden


Soup stories


Stone Soup commune


Passing by a historical sight

I saw Pearl Harbor


Trip with Pop


Road trip blues


Whistle test my ass


Dumb philosopher


You should want more than poetry


Book me tonight


Meaning of life


Laugh at family


Support the Proops


Fooled by the media


Get drunk again


Settle for beer


I could go for a year of vacation


Rats race less than most folks


Gossip about Duane


Allman’s were tough


Aspiring musician


Too old to give up?


Gave up before starting

Work for a reason


Spend time with fam


Japan could be cool

Learn a language


Talk the talk, never walk the walk


Until we get more money

Lines from old flicks


I married a buddy


Wedding in Florida

Jimi’s still the best


No one plays like that


Friendly skies no friendlier than the rest


Might fail


Avoid prison


Politics are evil


No one owes you


Boss of me is me


Jolly good bloke


Patronize arts

Delight in laugher


Fester’s growling


Endless Characters


What to do?


Finances control you


Pen clicking morons


Get royalties


Impose on others


There was magic


Ratty Wallet


Products from Thailand

The most exotic place


Rumble from Wheaton, Illinois

Why’d Belushi die?


Chevy Chase should have his own network


Aykroyd was classy


Garret Morris was underappreciated


70’s show musical guest


Make a sound now


After death blues


Some things are bothering


Troubles float away


Downtown Cleveland


Doubting too much


Ads for gruel


Living for pizza


I was happy


Too much cake


Gravy train ride’s over


Opinions matter, facts matter more


There’s a better life


Chasing after Mario


Games we play


Pop is right


Sabbath day rules


Company picnic


Settle for wishes


Ghosts in Chi-town


Living on the outside


Choosing to lose


Prove it!


Convey ideas


Nitty gritty




Seizing property


Cusp of being


Random sampling


Drastic change


Mediocrity and banality




Cruel side of life


Using fiction to demonstrate


That’d be frightening


Dangerous in real life


Declare constructively






Conditions of humanity


Bulk optimum


Pettiness into a warped project


Coordinate a trip to the moon




Serious and introspective thoughts


End on the mend


End on the one


Pretend to end


Fuzzy computer




Never going to die


Find an idea


Getting funky yo


Starting rather small

Glory but no fame

Nobody cares for you


No way home

No way


Funny shit

Keep creating

Tiny in grand scheme

No time to die

Debt ain’t cool


Die with dignity

Choose differently


There’s no need

Fear isn’t a friend

Funky times were there


Trio of pleasures


Foggy night


Delicious snacks

Quit writing carp or crap


Dessert is the meaning of life


Sweet nectar


Never thought it’d be possible


Reference the Chaser


Hillsong Parody


Religious scumbags


Life should be a musical


Dance with Taylor


Confront your priest

Higher quality of life

Statistically awful


Low end furniture

Laugh at poverty


No choice but pain


Dentists are evil


Old age blues


Bitch about work


Support old funk


Amazing Museums


Trial size guilt


Fountain pen shuffle


Beg for billions


Idiots are growing


Logical putty


Too much bean


Third rate Fred Durst imitator


I insulted Heath Ledger


Get a watch fool


Fretting over nothing

Worried about death


For the love of fake God


Your breath is questionable


Pass the scotch


Cold ones for all


Boasting about nothing

Brag about houses


Interesting people

Repeat from earlier


Thematic link


Weird people rule


I only know losers


Spoon fed Christian boy


BBQ shredded and tasty


Foot long coneys ain’t what they used to be


Engineering library days


Greg was an odd boss


I slept while filing


Job tasks are often pointless


Kentucky has some liquor stores


Bluegrass could be better


Ben Franklin bust


Busted by civilians


For the love of lazy


Seashell surprise


The young will eat us


I love how Ma talks

Odd facial expression


Big humpy


Argue for money


Lose the tie


Bigs fade away too


Sickness of living


Ending a romance


What an obvious ploy

Phony dialogue

Is this who I think it is?


Odd to see folks get old


A life sentence always ends in death


Culture of twisted morality

Little makes sense


I never ate your yogurt


Battle with exes


Success is a mysterious woman


Balloons are worth their weight in old onions


I know telephone wires that work harder than you


Forgive my fuckin’ cousin


Better to be a black sheep in a white sweater world


Music doesn’t always make sense


It’s okay to love irrational things


Keep struggling


Worth a look


Juice bars are an odd concept


Chuck Berry is still kicking, right?


Don’t judge character with disco


Chicken wing envy


I love your sauce

Refer-eshing times


Clever pun titles


Get down with Dwight


Found Graham Crackers


So what if you failed?


What did you expect?

Change before they change you


Go for silver


Be realistic


Physical objects


Playing poker with buddies


I dug the 80’s


No plans for tonight

Ten years to read a book?


Alive or Dead?


Dollar store humor piece


Cover of Mad


Pay off bookie


Vote for non-politicians


Assume people don’t have time to read


Some people make me sick


Ole to you sir!


Grow up just a little bit


Brush them teeth boy


Greats like Frank still go


Mysterious stranger glances


Comic book panels


Old time crooner phrases

Ring a ding Joey


Still rockin’ in their sixties


No excuse for me


If Pete can do it, why not me?


Get moving tough guy


Don’t be perfect, be good


Good titles are easy, good songs aren’t


Brian Wilson changed things


Be more than nothing


Fear’s awful


Fear may be worse than death


Repeat listening


You have enough


The miracles from above


Yeah, they’ll ignore you


Greatness is upon us


Songs in the bank

Use what you’ve got


Tiger swimming champ


Retiring hero


Just getting started


I didn’t fight hard enough


Hope is a four letter word


Ponderosa was grand


Things obviously change


I liked that group


Rocking in chairs


Rude old man


Embrace change

Take another chance


The 80’s had some sitcoms


Little but rubbish


Facts on your side


Wheat is healthier

Everyone’s ending

Band the banned


It’d be funny to see


Choose death


I’m an accident


Don’t know how we got here


Tucked away in Columbus, Ohio


We need a baseball


Language barrier makes me laugh


Memories also fade


Trucking away on a lawnmower


Cat fight of a life time


Have to work again


Tree hugging bastards


Phone your only friend

Game shows left us


Broken printer


Snow flakes lazily fall


Sleeping girlfriend

Blessed are the sheik


I want sex


Crude success


I lose to Achy Breaky Heart


Popular doesn’t mean right


Maybe one day we’ll all agree

Enjoy right now


Mid-size range of life

Hitchens once said


Quote the immortals


Wisdom lives on


Stupidity’s rarely defeated


Dance before you leave


Sing before you go


Watch snow fall and beach waves


Guilty by nature


Born into awful families


Not always another chance


Jump off the bandwagon


Make the unusual choice

Improvisation mantra


Teachers taught me little


I learn by fucking up


Forgive me yet again


Yoga mind fuck


Something new for the kids


Bow out now


Decide on mantra


Into the unknown


I’d like to know


Pursue knowledge


A terrible advantage


Can’t capture every experience

Quote legends


Market like hell


Words are just that


Life’s a buffet, stop cleaning dishes and eat


Blue collar guy may win


No politician’s blue collar


Don’t know if that’s a word


Bob Barker made you a bitch too


Add humor


Life’s too short to golf


I spent time like an idiot


Open cupboard


Why does it have to be racial?


Lies scientists tell


Creationism isn’t a fact


Irish folk tunes are inconsistent


Fields are competitive

Death is tragic


150,000 every day


Figures for the mind


Re-negotiate a better life


Sequester a jury


I see poverty and riches


Here now


Silly phrases


Repeat viewing

Fame’s double edged


Failed too many times

Number of my lady


I had lots of interests


Grit teeth and bear arms


Hearsay evidence


Fish out of water comedy


Dancing at midnight


Memories beginning to fade


I tried to keep it but lost anyway

Computer clean


Clearance but no sale


Another tribe


A free ticket to somewhere


Never mention me


I’ll be forgotten, but so will you


Reward the blockbuster


Paid for by alimony


Too many problems


Don’t worry about everything


Science generation


Beg for bolo ties


Never enough crudity


Santorini was fabulous

Captured my life on film


Crazed fans need to die


Leave the world alone


Embarrassing fast dance


I was so lame


Wish I’d had courage


Uphill battle


For the love of the gym


The neurotic may win


Woody Allen fan club


Don’t count me in


Maybe death’s not so bad


I’d like to fly before I die


Dreams are sometimes kind of met


I’d kill for a chance to produce


Have non-psychotic hunger


Years of failure lead to better times


End insanity before it gets me


When will it end?


You won’t know when it’s over either


I already said goodbye


If I don’t see you again


At least say goodbye in an original way


I’d rather live instead of say bye


Live don’t leave


Guitar tuner came in handy

Tools are meant to be used


Regret weaknesses


Make new future old times

Pleasure may drive us nuts

Endorsing genocide isn’t the same as doing it

Time gone by


Still not sure


Won’t be a slave


Flock may be clueless


Random typing


Propaganda poverty and shackles


Injustice isn’t cool


Competing can drive one mad


Morbid candidate




News junkies


Atmospheres of ideology


Cleaning up


Sequential order and others


Die any time


Continue to question


Silly ideas and punch


Manipulated for gain


Bureaucrats own you


Young talented performer


Songs in the mind


Does tantric sex work?


Bad tasting fortune cookie




Stop feeding lies to babies


New times are now

Growing rich from the blood of peasants

Wicked or smart to exploit others for gain?

Survival and bumming around

Giving free samples

Worth playing

Terrible ideas

Actress of solitude

Impressive resume achieved

Getting shit done quick

End the tires

You’re a hog

60’s tunes rocked

Different view

Youth slipping away

Took my time

Type faster

Time slipped away

Idiots praise invisible gods


Strangest sounds

Trying to equal

Generosity handed to me

Connect the dots

Hard nosed skeptics

Custom built ship

Quality in boldness

In a world where many

Live in bitterness

Quit bitching about

The state of the world

Do something to change it

If I don’t make

Conscious effort to change

I’ll fall back into old habits

Bowling is an absurd hobby

Softening blows sometimes

Prolongs inevitable pain

Times have changed

So have I 

I don’t think

Either one of us had a choice

Laughter for the happy is good

But laugher best serves

People who suffer

Design a classic architecture


Doubt my work is perfect 

Commercial sensibilities

Ridiculous thoughts

Respect and honor

Budget time and resources

Guiltier pleasure

Memorize an entire

Relocate to a better time

Melodies can be made out of nearly anything

Best accordion band in the land

Awe and wonder

Sizeable options face prejudice

Non-mundane scenarios

Connect to the world

Great to others

Quite proud of what they’ve done

Machines do it better

Repeating creative value

Trust money

Wise men

Flawed people are evil

Nothing to note

Weird Dreams

I like Cheech and Chong

Funnier than Satan

We created the all-mighty Creator

Science proves no gods

In between phrase

I like hanging out

Soccer is fantastic

Tried not to suffer

Why do you live well?

Economic situations

Voyage around the world

Logical constructs

Limited time and experience

Going for bronze

Sleeping through life

Tired of being tired

Invitations to madness

Feeling insignificant

Powerless hour

Love is irrational

Oslo is a swinging town

Opening a business

For the love of deities

I’d like to forget

The pain never left

The greedy often win

Sacrificing years for a goal

Superstring theory

Theoretical physics

For the love of…

A new website

Make money doing right

Wars inside

Weird beliefs

Warehouse deals

Video game tribute

Movie night

I like the library

Fowl play- the birds attack

Hippie song based on a Bible verse

The sixties are long gone

Monthly subscription services

Love is a scam

Old guys make sense

Pop is hilarious

Ma was loving

Money goes to those who exploit

The reality zone

For little money

Science superior to scientology

Photograph so you don’t forget

Why don’t we get drunk and preach?

Know how to lie

Real tee

Know living

Ben Franklin blues

Bus the children

I wrote a novel

Writer for hire

Money making schemes

Buy more groceries

God tells you nothing

TV full of lies

I believe Ari Gold

Sitcom characters speak to me

Revelation from below

Hell in my mind

Write the damn book

Correct all wrongs

An old husband’s tale

The dirty napkin

I almost died

Cars can kill

Clip fingernails

Mundane trappings

Common experiences

Generous for what?

I lived for cheese

I don’t like threats

The desire for life

Sacrifice for this?

The total sum of parts

Exaggerations of life

Point of life

Get over the gold standard

Facts can’t be disputed

Olympic bans

Subway time faults

New mission


Filter messages


TV celebrities


Semi-appropriate remarks


Exceptional person

British train stations

Thinking for yourself

It takes bravery

The war of wages

Waging wage wars

Cheat with God

I’d like to believe you, but that’s stupid

The power of lust

I don’t need fake money

Folding laundry blues

Huckster faith school

Laugh at atheists

Reasonably good business practices

Quitters for Jesus

I hate the blues

Lust bus

Read a book fool

Prejudice is bullshit

Bad grammar

Shilling for bucks

Tribalism is racist

Viewer discretion is bullshit

Huge fan of life

Brotherhood’s lost

The proof isn’t in this pudding

What is surprising anymore?

Who’s this guy?

Ignored the media

Bumped into a fool

Spit on in Korea

The white of black

The role of the roll

As it is

Mingus-like isolationists

Created duties

Depressed failures

Learn something new

Budgeting time and money

Eddie Murphy is funny, Ben Bernake isn’t

Guy from Quaker Oats commercials

Religion’s a crock of shit

Options and choices

Ridiculous dialogue

Lobbying to freedom

Memorizing disasters 

Marketing genius

Gaining titles of honor

Literally no chance

Entitled performers