Sometimes I'm serious.

LYRICS: A MESS OF IDEAS THAT COULD BE SONGS

LAST ORIGINAL SONG

 

This is the final original song

Every possible song has been done

No more original songs after this song

All the words of the language are gone

 

Can’t write about love

Can’t write about war

Can’t write about sex

Can’t write about doors

 

Every word and every theme

Every single movie scene

 

They’ve all had a tune

They’ve all had some words

 

The time has come

For seconds and thirds

 

Nothing new left to say

People try anyway

 

It is a shame they’ll fail

Every new song’s bound to fail

 

Every new song’s bound to fail

Beach MEN

                                                           

The girls all hit the beach now

 

They all look really good

 

Well, not literally all of them

 

They don’t all give me wood

 

I’ll make sure my girl’s pretty

 

Give the dogs to my buds

 

Tell them cute girls are taken

 

They can have all the duds

 

My friends can have all the duds

 

I don’t want them no how

 

They make me cringe real bad

 

My buds can have the cows

 

OHIO BLUES

 

Got the Ohio Blues

It’s been real bad

Can’t shake Ohio Blues

This whole state’s so sad

 

Been stuck in old Columbus

Stuck on Broad and High

Didn’t get no money

No matter how hard I tried

 

Been stuck in Downtown Cleveland

Couldn’t get no work

Out of work like many men

Tossed me out like a jerk

 

Been stuck in Cincinnati

Trying to make some bread

Folks there so Conservative

It’s like they already dead

 

Been stuck in boring Dayton

I had nothing at all

Glad to get the hell out

Lame urban strip mall

 

Getting tired of it all

So sick of Buckeyemania

Definitely ain’t perfect here but

Way better than Pennsylvania

 

Sittin’ here doin’ nothin’

Ramblin’ on I wish again

Well at least I can thank God

I ain’t stuck in Michigan

SONG- JESUS IS HIS OWN GRANDPA

                                                             

They say mother Mary was a virgin

Holy, chaste, and pure

 

But I have to wonder who

Jesus’ father is for sure

 

The Holy Spirit impregnated Mary

But I thought that was same as God

 

And I thought that God was Jesus

It all seems a little odd

 

He’s his own grandpa!

Jesus is his own grandpa!

 

Now I know that it’s amazing

But there’s nothing God can’t do

 

He’s his own grandpa

 

 

Loyal American

 

Pay your taxes

Vote for leaders

Go to church

Wave your flag

Support the troops

Marry hetero

Raise nice children

Own a home

Get a job

Work overtime

Volunteer

 

Obey your boss

Obey your priest

Obey your bank

Obey the law

Obey the court

Obey the cops

Obey the rich

Obey the right

 

And you’ll be okay

 

Hate the unemployed

Hate the atheists

Hate the broke

Hate the lawless

Hate the rule breakers

Hate the criminals

Hate the poor

Hate the left

 

And really hate the gays

 

Be a loyal American

Serve the USA

 

Be a Loyal American

Serve the USA

 

OPPOSE THE TROOPS

 

 HAPPY BLUES

 

I feel so happy

My life is really swell

 

I got a ton of money

I’ve got my own Taco Bell

 

But that wasn’t sad!  That was the opposite of sad.

 

Yeah, but it makes me feel pretty good.  That’s what the blues are for.

 

I thought the blues were supposed to be sad.  Hence the reason they are called the blues.

 

I don’t see it that way.  Dig this:

 

My life is super awesome

Everything is just great

 

I got tons of women

That I can always date

 

Nothing could be better

Than the life I got right now

 

I’m so busy loving

And I’ll always know how

 

The greatest song in the existence of humanity take 1

 

I want to write the greatest song

One that will blow your minds

The one that will make me rich and famous

The greatest tune of all time

One that will give to the people

A noble reason to live

The tune that can make life amazing

For all that hear its joy

 

Come taste the fruit of the musical labor

That the mind can create and love

Let the music flow and feel good

Make the body and mind glow

Dig the best there is and live now

Like you never have before

The best things in life will come to you

Just by hearing this song!

 

 

OK, that might not be the greatest despite my oh so noble attempt.  Yet another experiment where I find that just because I thought of something that alone didn’t necessarily make it of high quality- or even regular quality in this case.  Now try to write the worst song in the world

 

Hey there disco angel

I love your groovy wings

Your hair is hot like fire

It makes me want to sing!

 

You are smoking’ and I am too

Let’s go and shake it down

Disco dancin’ can’t be beat

Anywhere in town

 

I know my jock is large and you want it now

I’ll let you have it baby

But wait until we’re away from the public

I like getting nasty while alone

 

Make it now we’re gonna be on

For a disco time

Moving into your heart again

Better than being a boy

Life Questions

 

(Talking Heads style tune)

 

What can I do?

The world’s too big

 

What can I do?

I’m only me

 

Who should I be?

I never know.

 

Who should I be?

Nobody knows

 

When will I die?

 

I do not know.

 

When will I die?

 

I’ll never know.

 

Where should I go?

 

I do not know.

 

Where should I go?

 

Where is the best?

 

Why am I here?

 

I do not know.

 

Why am I here?

 

I have to go.

STOP CRAPPY SONGS

Stop writing crappy songs

The world has quite enough

There’s tons of shit right now

Don’t need your bullshit stuff

 

Can’t write a simple song

Not even good enough for punk

Stop singing stupid words

Shut up, go get drunk

 

Now you may go to hell

Even though it’s not real

Please just quit now, you suck

You’ll never get a deal

 

Blow up your guitar

You could do something else

 

 

Make a song

 

Write some lines

With clever lyrics

 

Sing real fine

So someone hears it

 

Find a tune

And make it snappy

 

Play it soon

Make people happy

 

Start with riffs

See what you do

 

Quite a gift

To sound like you

 

Put some words

To sweet music

 

Ditch the turds

Don’t you be sick

 

Feel power

Be like a God

 

It’s the hour

You’ll be awed

 

Rock like stars

Or even better

 

Play guitars

Never settle

 

On a song

That’s really bad

 

That is wrong

Makes people mad

 

If you suck

Who can blame them?

 

With some luck

You’ll be famous

 

Sing that tune

Do all that you can

 

Beat Keith Moon

Be hardcore man

 

Shout it loud

Loud as you can

Be real proud

Like a Ger-man

 

Make sure it

Is not too long

 

They hate shit

That’s way too long

 

End it now

The final bow

 

Not sure how

Really right now!

Random One Liners Song               

 

It’s extremely difficult to separate personal beliefs from facts about reality.

 

Getting the best things in life requires talent and stamina. 

 

Families: Some are great, others are terrible.

 

It’s hilarious to laugh at people who take themselves too seriously

 

And kind of sad to observe people who don’t take themselves seriously at all.

 

Studying the masters of any trade can be helpful. 

 

But unless one aims for exact imitation, they have to attempt to create on their own. 

 

Why should I believe the news when the real world is better than the one created on TV?

 

We may cause unintentional harm to others no matter how hard we try not to. 

 

A proper balance between serving and savoring must be found to live well.

 

Powerful people always find ways to exploit those who aren’t clever. 

 

No person is perfect.  Those who claim to be are the most arrogant fools in the universe.

 

Confusion is the hallmark of a deep, yet uncommitted thinker.

Trusting the self to become a better person is vital to allow change.

It’s unlikely that anyone intends to live a life of misery.

It’s nearly impossible to understand a reality that one has never experienced. 

Every hero can be shot full of holes.

 

FAIL

 

You might not be great

You might not be good

You might suck

Worse than anyone

 

But you’ll never know

Until you fail

 

You have to risk

Looking like a fool

 

You might be a moron

Or a genius in bloom

 

Surely by this time I’ve created something that doesn’t suck

I should get busy doing what I believe matters

And get down with people who are amazing

There’s no need to continue living like a shmuck

Get busy and earn your luck 

 

You’re Gone Tomorrow

 

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better pay your taxes

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better pay your rent

 

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better save your money

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better get insurance

 

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better go to college

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better get a job

 

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better win big trophies

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better make it big

 

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better not screw up

 

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better obey rules

 

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better forget dreams

 

You’re gone tomorrow

So you better forget dreams

 

Jesus- Legend, Liar, Lunatic

 

Josh McDowell says I have to choose

So I guess I will

 

Studied the tales of Jesus for years

And I’ve made my decision

 

Jesus was a legend

Don’t believe he was real

 

Never seen a guy walk on water

Never seen a guy heal by touching

Never seen a guy rise from the dead

 

But if there was a Jesus

He was a liar

 

Prayer doesn’t work- believe me I’ve tried

Hell isn’t real- What a wicked concept

Jesus doesn’t care- just try to prove his power

 

And if he wasn’t a liar

He was a lunatic

 

He killed himself to forgive sins

Instead of just forgiving

He’ll send most to hell

For not believing bullshit

He isn’t God

There’s no proof for it

 

Jesus isn’t Lord

He’s probably a myth

But if not a myth

He’s a shady liar

But if no liar

He’s a zealous loony

 

So go now

And spread the word!

LET IT FLOW

 

Second guessing

Kills the artist

Ignore logic

Produce your shit

 

It may be great

It may suck balls

But at the least

It’s your own shit

 

There’s greatness

In the art world

You might be it

If you’re legit

So take some chances

Try to be great

You might be it

 

Or you might make some of the most pointless, trivial, gut-wrenching, vile, putrid, garbage in the history of humanity.

 

But at least you tried.

 

 

WHAT HAPPENED?

 

I feel kind of lost

I feel kind of down

Don’t know what I’m doing

Trying to look around

 

Thought that I’d be happy

If I had a wife

Never really found it

Secret to the thing called life

 

Caught glimpses of beauty

And got some good vibes for sure

Never really saw the point

Of what I was supposed to do

Wish that I’d realized

Mistakes coming from the past

Had no understanding

It all blew by so fast

 

Conscience constantly burdened

By what I should be doing

Haven’t been at peace

Ever since my mind went wandering

 

Judging others harshly

Haven’t conquered my own fears

Unsure where to turn for answers

Hope it all ties together

To bring the world and me more love

Doubt has played a big part

In holding up my dreams

 

Deciding whether to live out loud

Or settle for quiet desperation

We must deal with the stupidity

Of the human race

We must deal with the absurdity

Of existence, time, and space

 

Just want to find a place

Where I can live the best life I can

Live it up and help out those

Who really want it and really need it

Crazy that I’ve been so stuck

In perceptions of my mind

My sincere hope

Is that I can serve a purpose

Live a noble and happy life

Need to find a balance

 

The evil I’ve despised in others

Potentially exists in me

Probably always has

Probably always will

Been afraid to fail and afraid to succeed

Afraid to be boring

But afraid to live life fully

 

Confused about the particulars

Of virtually any human method

If I can’t tell you a simple thing about the universe

How can I tell you how to live?

 

Lost on my mission

All is temporary on Earth

But I still take it too seriously

How much sense does that make?

Somehow I’ll see

Life is worth living

And we are all going to make it

To a better place

 

Change happened to the world without my consent

I bet on the sure bet that wasn’t even there

How can I put my faith in anything less than perfect?

 

FREE AS YOU CAN AFFORD TO BE

 

Only free if you got money

Then you’ll get a honey

Man, it’s funny

 

Suckers buying shit they don’t even need

Whole fucking world in misery and greed

Got no money, you ain’t got shit

Bust your ass just to make rent

Stop being stupid, do what counts

Life’s more important than a bank account

But freedom’s lost when you go broke

Funny when you know life’s just a joke

 

Silly knowing we all die one day anyway

Always living like a man afraid to lose

Sure, rent has to be paid

Doesn’t have to be miserable though

  

NEW TUNES RULE

 

New beginnings make me laugh

How did I end up here anyway?

The slightest bits of what was remains

But just about everything from then is gone

Began to live for what I loved in life

Not what I felt obligated to do to succeed

To make my ____ proud, to make money and sit on my ass

No, I decided that since it was all going to end anyway

Might as well try to do what I really wanted

But it’s a weird call to make

After all, bills must be paid

And TV must be watched

I literally never tried to live my dream

Not sure if it’s practical or pathetic

Probably very much both

So here I am just scribbling thoughts

Hoping it will amount to something, someday, somehow

 

Although it’s been a good ride

I never thought I’d be where I am now

What I believe

Where I live

How I spend my time

Even how I think

Been given so much by so many but

Missed out on so much I really wanted to do

Lived a good life, had some fun

But never really lived a miracle

A life I never wanted or predicted

I know I have to change to make it better

But don’t know what to change into

Guess I’ll have to take a shot and hope for the best

To live well

 

Can you take death off my tab?

 

It means nothing

To be alive today

You’ll be gone soon

And you know it

Death is going to come

Nothing you can do

So just say fuck it all

Do just what you want to

 

Fuck it all

Because you’re gonna die

You never had a chance

Boy you’re gonna fry

 

RELIGION Song

                                               

God won’t you help us?

We need to have some food

There are millions of kids starving

I hope that you are good

 

God won’t you help me?

I need a place to live

I’m tired of being homeless

And so is my poor kid

 

God won’t you help me?

I’ve got this bad disease

I don’t want to die from it

God, just help me please?

 

I keep praying and praying

But nothing ever changes

God are you really listening?

You have not talked in ages

 

I am still praying

And I got no answer

I guess you just don’t care

At all about my cancer

 

God maybe you don’t

Really exist at all

Don’t want to waste more time

God’s put up a wall

 

So humanity is screwed

We are all going to die

Spent my whole life praying

Just to find out God’s a lie

 

God’s a lie

God’s a lie

God’s a lie

 

Meaning of life

 

We live on a planet

That’s one in 8 or 9

In a galaxy much larger

Than any of us have the ability to explore

 

We live in one galaxy

Among more than we’re able to count at this time

 

This one small planet we live on

Has over six billion humans

And many more other life forms

Knowledge about the past is incomplete

Knowledge about the present is incomplete

Knowledge about the future doesn’t exist at all

 

There are millions of theories on what the meaning of life is

And many them are contradictory

Many of them are quite ridiculous

 

None of them are universally approved by all of humanity

None of them can be proven to be completely accurate

None of them come anywhere close to describing the full truth about the universe

 

Yet you claim to know the meaning of life

Forgive what you may perceive to be my rudeness

But I don’t believe you’re right

And I don’t think anyone else should either

 

SO MANY SONGS

 

So many songs

                                         

I don’t even know them all

 

The amount of songs there are

 

Make me feel small

 

Sure I’ve written songs

 

But they’re just a few in a huge bunch

 

All these songs just won’t leave my brain

 

They infect it with lots of good stuff

 

There’s no perfect song

 

But a lot of songs are good

 

Then there’s a bunch of crap too

 

Try not to listen to garbage

 

People want to love songs

 

They make life really great

 

Songs always make life better

 

They make me forget hate

 

Love songs, old songs, good songs, bad songs

 

Death songs, best songs, past songs, long songs

 

All the songs that people love

 

All the songs that seem above

 

Human abilities and human ears

 

Human titties and human beer

 

There’s much more I could do

 

But until I decide

 

I won’t be doing shit

 

All these songs drive me insane

 

Guess I’ll have to be crazy

 

Cause I can’t stop thinking

 

About all these wonderful songs!

 

SCREWED UP MARRIAGE

 

I love my new life

 

It’s quite nice

 

I killed my wife

 

She was such a bitch

 

Now I’m rich

 

It was a cinch

 

She needed to die and I sent her to hell

 

I looked around and I killed very well

 

I sat on the floor looked at the gore

 

I placed her in mud, drinking her blood

 

So my life is good

 

That bitch is dead

 

I’d kill her again if I could

 

My life isn’t great

 

No longer hate

 

My unholy fate

 

Kill a whiny bitch

 

Then you’ll be rich

 

LINES OF WISDOM

 

Japanese join forces with white supremacists in well thought out long term scheme

 

Why are any of us here?

 

He will die with his doghouses and they will be sold at a garage sale for fifty bucks.

 

Reason is more valuable than superstition.

 

Robert Wadlow was 8’ 11 inches.

 

There’s a man in Freemont, Arkansas who can blow a bubble bigger than his body.

 

Freedom is slavery

 

The Pacification of the lower tribes of the Niger

 

Everything’s just 99 cents

 

Amen

 

Learn how to focus thoughts and time

 

If one refuses they never do anything great

 

They do things that make no sense

 

They do things that aren’t sweet

 

Why not do what you want

 

Your life’s up to you

 

The best people live quite well

 

Life can be quite swell

 

BOW BEFORE ME

 

I am the greatest

 

I think you all suck

 

At least compared to me

 

I pity your garbage

 

It’s not as good as

 

My relatively weakest song

 

I am immortal

 

You are all dying

 

God that must really suck

 

My genius won’t die

 

Yours won’t blossom

 

At least not compared to me

 

I think you all suck

 

I can’t believe how bad

 

All of you are compared to me

 

Why don’t you give up?

 

You’ll never come close

 

None of you are as good as me

 

So just go home now

 

Take out the shotgun

 

Blow your brains out

 

Instead of always losing to me

 

It is must get tiring

 

When you know how great I am

 

You know you’ll never be like me

 

End your life now

 

You stupid failure

 

You will never be as good as me!

 

I’m bigger than Jesus

 

I’m bigger than Yahweh

 

I’m bigger than any fake God you can name

 

I’m bigger than the Rockies

 

Or Himalayas

 

My awesomeness is insane

 

I’m better than the universe

 

I can control it

 

I think you are all inane

 

So get out of my sight

 

You are not worthy

 

Trying to be like me is just vain

 

Worship and grovel me

 

But from a distance

 

I can’t be brought down by you lames

 

I’m the greatest

 

I’m the most brilliant

 

I’m better than everyone in everyone way

 

Just for forever

 

Even after I retire

 

In my name

 

Amen!

 

Everyone else combined is less than the smallest particle of my fingernail I clipped off and threw in the garbage last Tuesday

 

FUNNY SONG

 

I sing a simple song

 

Write some silly words

 

Sing them out loud

 

And people go apeshit

 

Easiest job in the world

 

All I do is write songs

 

Well write is a slight

 

Exaggeration considering

 

I can’t even read music

 

I just hum some tune

 

Some kid named Brijul

 

Makes it something

 

The Big Wigs will buy

 

I’m so lucky

 

Less talent than you think

 

That’s okay, I got more

Cash than an oil sheik

 

Love the way you adore me

 

Don’t get it, but I’ll take it

 

I am going to rule the world

 

Just by making dopey tunes

GENUINE HOPE

 

There are a lot of problems in the world

 

But there are numerous good things too

 

Tunes by The Beatles or Jimi Hendrix

 

Books by clever authors

 

Movies that are funnier than real life

 

Comedy that is thoughtful and inspiring

 

Sex that is mind blowing

 

Art that is beautiful

 

Thoughts that seem meaningful

 

Sports that are fun to watch

 

Games that are fun to play

 

Food that is tasty to eat

 

Clothes that are good to wear

 

Homes that are nice to live in

 

Travel to many places and spaces

 

Literally and in the mind

 

Life can be quite brilliant

 

You have to make it so

 

10. Smells Like Republican Voter- Joe/Chauncey/All Available Cast Members

 

(Open On: a performance at A Republican meeting.)

 

Joe

Welcome, fellow Republicans.  We have a treat for you tonight!

 

(cast members imitate the cheerleaders and janitor from the smells like teen spirit video.  Chauncey sings his lyrics to the beat of the opening of Nirvana’s “Smells like Teen Spirit.”)

 

Chauncey 

Load up on guns
Bring your friends
all to Iraq
no need to pretend

To help the poor
We’re self-assured
Never enough
fight terror war

McCain (REPEAT 16 TIMES.)

With the liberals it is dangerous
Here we are now
We love Jesus
Family values are contagious
Here we are now

Please pray for us
Wealthy tax cuts

great idea
John McCain is

Our next leader
Yeah!

MISANTHROPIC SONG

 

Many people never achieve their dream

 

But even more never wake up from their nightmare

 

Now is the time to give up and join

 

The rest of humanity in cruel reality

 

Our species may be so selfish

 

That no one is influenced by anyone else.

 

If anyone refuses to participate in struggle

 

They lose touch with 99% of humanity

 

Perhaps I seem to have a cruel streak

 

But it’s only because the pain in the world

 

Bothers me a great deal

 

It’s possible that evolution is on pause in many parts of the world

 

But humanity finds ways to advance

 

Despite the pathetic nature of billions of its members

 

Leave the Earth a slightly better place

 

Even if it is doing so by leaving the Earth

 

Success is a temporary deceiver

 

Life is nearly always painful failure

 

Being depressed can lead to a worse lifestyle

 

But any adult who has never felt depressed

 

Clearly has some kind of blinders on.

 

Anyone who wants a better way of life for themselves

 

Is likely to face a lot of disappointment

 

Just accept the world sucks

 

You’re going to die

 

And nothing you do has any permanent meaning

 

Once you are over all that

 

You’re free to float around

 

Without any definite purpose in the world

 

Everyone has the potential to fail you 

 

There are no perfect people

 

The people we love and care about most

 

May let us down

 

All humans possess abilities to lapse

 

Into bouts of frustration and anger

 

Mental powers can be developed

 

But never fully

 

A human who reached their full potential

 

Could to do greater things than feeble minds can comprehend 

 

But the fully developed human may not be tolerated

 

In a world of many petty, narrow minded rulers

 

What joy can come from hurting others? 

 

Do people value temporary status and possessions

 

More than their living brothers and sisters? 

 

It seems most of the world does

 

“Mind your own business” used to be a great policy 

 

But in a world full of taxation, extortion, and murder

 

It isn’t possible 

 

Mind the business of all people

 

Who try to ruin lives

 

Question all people

 

Many of them may be just as clueless as you are 

 

A few might even be more so

 

Violence is a terrible way of life for a family

 

but almost always a necessary way of life for a nation 

 

Pacifist cultures have been wiped out 

 

Unfortunately, life is often dominated by aggressive pricks

 

MISANTHROPIC SONG 2

 

When one thinks about

 

The grand scheme of the universe

 

They have to see

 

Everything they’ve ever done

 

Everything they’ll do

 

Will mean little to

 

Nothing in the end

 

Effort given to failure may

 

A complete waste of time

 

Or it can be needed

 

To learn lessons to improve 

 

Ultimately, all human effort

 

Results in failure

 

Do people value temporary status

 

More than their temporary

 

Brothers and sisters? 

 

It seems as if

 

Most of the world does

 

THE ESSENCE OF GENRES OF MUSIC

 

Boiling music genres down to their essences:

 

Rock

 

Power chords- Kick ass, get laid, party.

 

Blues-

 

Simple riff, 2nd and 4th frets upper strings back and forth

 

Life sucks.  Music makes it slightly better.

 

Jazz-

 

More complex arrangement- something like Coltrane

 

 Chill the hell out.  Relax.

 

Rap-

 

Repetitive, but tight and danceable- something like Big Pimpin’

 

 The streets are rough.  Get money and hoes.

 

Funk-

 

E 9, a bass groove run top of the frets

 

Dance rhythmically to this killer groove.

 

Country- We’re hicks who haven’t evolved.

 

Bonanza like

 

Pop- We make billions from this sappy shit.

 

Timberlake or Michael Jackson like

 

Psychedelic- Life is trippy if you open your mind.

 

LUCY IN THE SKY

 

Comedy- Laugh at the absurdities of life.

 

Dare to be stupid

 

Classical- Impressive technical creations made by humans.

 

Classico, One, The art of painting

Avant garde- Weird shit can still be played.

 

Peaches en regalia, Elfman

 

Theme song- We set cool tunes to this show.

 

Mash, Hawaii five o, Bond

 

Metal- I’m angry!   Eat shit motherfuckers!

 

Ace of Spades,

 

Evolve the way you believe you should before it’s all too late

 

Surf- Relax and try to enjoy life.

 

Endless Summer, Pipeline, Beach Boys- California Girls

 

Motown-Smooth well crafted pop songs with heart and class.

 

It’s a Shame, My Girl, Just My Imagination

 

Soul- Let me bare all  my feelings to you.

 

Soul Man

 

Punk- Fuck you, I hate life.

 

Sex Pistols, Ramones, Clash

 

Folk- Here’s a simple tune that can help you unwind.

 

Simon and Garfunkel, Dylan

 

Spanish- Appreciate life.

 

One I know, Spanish Caravan like

 

Reggae- Calm down and feel good.

 

Marley, Up stroke 16 bar

 

Ballad- I love you.

 

Softer, slower, high notes

 

Italian- Bonjour Italiano!

 

Godfather

 

Romantic- I want to love you or have sex with you.

 

Same as Ballad?

 

Hardcore- Look how much energy you have.

 

Play fast and hard deep top strings

 

Melodic- Pretty sounds make life better.

 

Play a theme like Tetris

 

Ska- Get silly with old school riffs.

 

Upstoke like Impression I get

 

Grunge- Corporate structures suck unless done our way.

 

Nirvana

 

Christian- Jesus is Lord.  Praise him.

 

Praise- White people tend to sing lamely to Jesus.

 

Lame

 

Gospel- Black people sing better to Jesus than white folks.

 

A bit funky

 

KEEP PUSHING TO GET BETTER

 

You’ll never be better

 

Unless you stop trying

 

You need to quit

All that sorry whining

 

Life is hard

 

But can be great

 

If you have talent

And pull your weight

And maybe a whole lot more

But it’s worth if you can

 

Stand up and be a man

 

Stand for what’s right

 

Bright future’s in sight

 

DETERMINATION

 

I’ve been kicked in the balls

 

By life and some folks in it

 

But I’ve lived to tell the tale

 

I’m still using the ice

 

To make my wounded balls

 

Feel a little better

 

Despite the awful pain

 

I might never be the same

 

But I can keep on icing

And keep on praying

And someday maybe

My balls will feel right

 

Or at least not as bad

 

As they ache right now

 

TAKE THE CHANCE

                                            

Hey someday

 

You’re going to die

Anyway

No matter what you do

 

Or what you say

 

You are going away

 

So live today

 

No better way

To have some balls

 

Go for it all

 

Nothing to lose

 

Someday bad news

 

You just might fail

 

Don’t kick the pail

 

Before you dare

 

To take a dare

 

Don’t sit and stare

 

Go get out there

 

And fucking live

 

And try to give

 

A little love

 

Take a big risk

 

Or you might miss

 

The life you could

 

Have loved for a while

 

IT”S ALL GOING AWAY

 

Everything you love

 

Everything you hate

 

Is slowly disappearing

 

You spent too much time caring

 

About stupid bullshit

 

Instead of enjoying it

 

What the hell were you thinking

 

You should’ve been drinking

The sweet tastes of life

 

Instead of being trite

It’s all your fault

 

You did what you were taught

 

Instead of living out loud

 

And now you ain’t proud

 

Just another no one

 

Instead of a grown one

 

But that’s okay

 

You had to know

 

It’s all going away

 

Life was your foe

 

GOD, MUCH POP MUSIC SUCKS THESE DAYS

                                                                           

How can you stand it?

 

The pop songs suck

 

This era has no soul

 

What happened to good music?

 

We don’t need karaoke idols

We don’t need blond teen twits

 

We don’t need phony thugs

 

We don’t need cowboy shit

 

You ever hear Stevie Wonder?

 

You ever hear The O’ Jays?

You ever hear Ray Charles?

You ever hear Al Green?

We’ve got great music

 

Some still being made today

So why do we tolerate the bullshit?

 

Instead of promoting  heroes?

 

Makes no sense

Do your part

 

Refuse to support crap

 

Support funky soul artists

 

Who speak to you

 

And say something

Worth listening to

 

WE LOST A GREAT HERO

 

He’s gone

 

Nothing lasts forever

 

But his legacy will last

 

As long as anything in humanity does

 

He was the greatest of my time

He caused controversy             

 

An unusual man in nearly every way

 

Unlike a lot of his friends and family

 

I’m not so sure he’s alive in heaven

 

But I think what he did in life

 

Will stay with people for as long as

 

Anything anyone has done

 

In my lifetime

 

I hope the work he did

 

Will be passed on to future generations

 

Because his work provided genuine hope

 

For a lot of suffering people

 

And I believe his work

 

Will do the same for the ages

 

I’M STILL AFRIAD

 

I fear the future

 

I fear the unknown

 

All I’ve worked so hard for

 

Is going away

 

I know that I’ll lose in the end

 

I can’t help but be sad about it

 

Terrible curse to be human

 

Knowing no matter what we do

 

No matter how we act

 

No matter how we choose

 

To spend our time

 

To maintain our health

 

We die anyway

 

Puts small problems in their place

 

But makes many worry even more

 

About the big ones

 

CONTEMPLATIONS FROM A PARTY

 

Splash on to a scene

 

Buy a drink for Tessa

 

Initial skepticism

 

A real improviser is able to

 

Design their own system

 

I’ve never viewed myself as

 

The funniest one

 

In any group of my friends

 

But fortunately I’ve often surrounded myself

 

With people who are rather funny

 

Undertaken a vicious satire of life

 

While waiting on the sidelines

 

Influences are a funny thing

 

COMEDY SONG

                      

Make another dick joke

 

People always laugh

 

Make another goofy face

 

Morons always laugh

 

Say another cuss word

 

Tools will always laugh

 

Imitate a celebrity

 

Dull people always laugh

 

Make a corny joke

 

Lame folks always laugh

 

You never know what will work for sure

 

But fuck-wits always laugh

 

Even if you’re completely unoriginal

 

Just act like a fool

 

LIFE IS ODD

 

Life is often hard

 

Struggle just to live

 

Too many good folks die

 

Too many pricks don’t give

 

There are often no answers

 

No one’s figured it out

 

So much uncertainty

 

Easily filled with doubt

 

I don’t know where I’m going

 

But don’t get people who do

 

I respect their commitment

 

But I can’t live like you

MAKING A PACT WITH SATAN?

 

Never seal a deal with the devil himself

 

Because he might not show up

 

If he did

 

He might do shitty work

 

But you won’t go to hell

 

To call him out

 

Today just step away

 

Playboy will be there for me to relax

 

Quit this childish fight against capitalism

 

The devil already won humanity

 

Have a sense of wit and irony

 

I’ve dabbled in a little bit of everything

 

But excelled in only one thing

 

Refusing to cut a contract or a rug

 

With that wicked devil

 

SING BEFORE DEATH

 

I want to live

 

I want to give

 

But the world is big

 

Its problems bigger

 

I don’t know what to do

 

Before my time is through

 

Want to do what right

 

No answer in sight

 

Just trying to do some good

 

Never believe I could

 

Do everything I want

 

Lost everything I fought

 

Confused about this life

 

What’s the point of life?

 

I guess we all just live for a while, and have to try to make the best of the mysterious ride.

METAPHORICAL FOOD FOR THOUGHT

 

Cities are nothing more than

 

The worst of humanity

 

Packed in close together

 

In stinking quarters

 

Toughen up or a bunch of

 

Prison guards do it for you

 

Unless you have justice

 

You’ll get used to getting fucked

 

By most of the world on a daily basis

 

Abet nobody to be on the safe side

 

Of refusing to abet a murderer

 

Earn cash to get respect

 

Give away cash to get love

 

Greet friends with a majestic air

 

All enemies with a pessimistic sneer

 

Kilt wearers are too often rejected

 

In corporate offices

 

Might makes right

 

As often as white is light

 

Note the suffering of the world

 

Try to help eliminate it

 

Find ways to cope with being unable to do so

 

Despite awful horrors

 

Every day on Earth

 

And eventual guaranteed death

 

For everything we hold dear

 

Believe that somehow

 

The crazy ride of life

 

Can be worth living

 

DEATH IS FUCKED, BUT SO IS LIFE

 

Death results in everyone being fucked. To believe otherwise is non-sense.  I don’t want to live in agonizing pain, but I sure as hell don’t want to just cease to exist forever.  I don’t want to live on by having numbskull children or by writing some book.  I really want to live on in health, peace, and happiness forever!   I can either spend my life imagining a fictional utopian heaven, or I can get busy trying to make this a realistic possibility, if not for me, for some other living beings in the future.

 

LIFE AIN’T ALWAYS GRAND

 

Assholes in suits pretend to be better

 

The universe is going to bite me

 

In the ass in the end

 

Remain nasty, brutish, and short

 

Package rebellion in consumer products

 

Soulless and anti-melodic

 

Beaches wait in the short-term

 

Human options are limited

 

To fucking up or fucking around

 

Refuse to waste time

 

Laugh about eternal death

 

If you can

WORKING FOR OTHERS FUCKS YOU

 

You can grovel to get entry level

 

Bust your ass for morons

 

Get treated like shit

Struggle to eat and pay rent

 

Or you can say to hell with that

 

And fight to win your own way of life

 

The universe may still fuck you

 

But you knew that was going to happen

 

No matter what you did someday

 

So might as well go out

 

Doing something rad

 

Instead of serving a master

 

Not much better than sharecropping

 

Which isn’t much better than slavery

 

OBVIOUS CHOICES

 

Creating can result in failure

But so can refusing to create

 

Make something important

 

Or at least try

 

Better to fail at something interesting

Rather than succeed

 

At stupid bullshit

 

GOOD, BETTER, BEST

 

Lines are imperfect

 

Lines are close to perfect

 

Lines are as close to perfect

 

As humanity can make

 

This ultimately means

 

Good, better, and best

 

Are all imperfect

 

Fuckin’ humans

 

GROW UP?  STAY IMMATURE!

 

Denied a chance

 

Crafted by focusing intensely

 

Commercial values of life

 

Subvert human intellectual thoughts

 

Slot in the roster of the A team

 

Resemble a laughing ensemble

 

Join others in a cosmic dance

 

Conveying real emotions by being guarded

 

Whine and complain about sub-standard life

 

Despite lack of intelligent enterprise

 

No legitimate excuse for my awful behaviors

 

FUCK DOCTORS, FUCK DYING MORE

 

Refuse to allow diseases to conquer your body

 

No doctor and no medicine

 

Is guaranteed to save your life idiots

 

Instead of relying on doctors

 

Why not save your own ass? 

 

Probably because no matter what

 

You’re eventually destined to fail

 

Maybe it is a good idea to have

 

The best coverage possible

 

To cover your own ass

 

With the best humanity has yet

 

To save our asses a bit longer

 

BE NICE GUY OR PRICK?

 

Good people often lose

 

Because they get so disappointed

 

About failing to help all the people

 

They’d love to help 

 

Perhaps this is why pricks often win

 

Because all they care about

 

Is refining their failures to get power

 

Instead of being noble 

 

Power is what operates the world

 

Not good tidings 

 

But it’s still nice to see some level

 

Of good tidings in the world 

 

Individuals who are brave enough

 

To challenge bad policies of rulers

 

Are often mistreated or killed 

 

Is it worth self-sacrifice to win?

MY SPECIAL GAL

 

I love her

 

She might love me

 

She might love him

 

She might love her

 

Open relationship

 

Bi-sexual girlfriend

 

Gets confusing sometimes

 

YOU THINK THERE’S A MEANING TO LIFE?

 

In a universe where any of us can die

 

Any time without knowing why

 

It seems highly unlikely that there’s

 

One meaning of life that applies to all of humanity 

 

What is the meaning of life for babies who are aborted? 

 

Or babies who die before old enough to do anything of note? 

 

Or children who are quite young? 

 

Or for teenagers who die before it seems just? 

 

Or for young adults who seemed indestructible? 

 

Or for middle aged adults? 

 

Or for the elderly? 

 

The meaning of life can’t be proven

 

For any person at any age

 

DEALING WITH PAIN

 

The amount of recovery time needed

 

Increases exponentially as one gets older

 

Or more accustomed to temporary living

 

Without pain

 

FUNNY THINGS THAT WERE SAID LAST NIGHT

 

Bauman clapping like a little girl

 

When a Monkees song was played

 

On the jukebox

 

Abby falling off a cliff

 

Both the Panty Filers and Koleno

 

Calling back Target and China

 

I was obsessed with the show

 

While it was going on

 

Now, I couldn’t tell you

 

What it was even about 

 

Want something urgently

 

Make it easy for folks to figure out

 

What that is 

 

Fractured take on the British accent with a loony chick

A flirtatious chick can still make me nervous

 

Dancing- It’s as white as me

 

Laughing hysterically at me

 

Considering him in the same category

 

Of lame whiteness as me

 

I have a few questions line

 

Saying that the first scene

 

Wasn’t very good

 

HUGE IDEAS TINY WORDS

 

Associating with a rogue group

 

Village wanderers who get more done

 

Laugh at the absurd lives we lead

 

Nearly universally rejected

 

Act as a creative vessel if you must

 

Or just live how you want to now

REMEMBER JOKES?

 

Allow no one to talk to you, because they could be a terrorist.

 

Because you live, you will someday die.

 

Delicious foods are only enjoyed by people who manage to avoid death.

 

Focal points of life involve not dying.

 

Golden memories should be pursued before one dies.

 

Heroic deaths are nothing compared to heroic lives.

 

Isolated people who die before they help humans serve no point for team humanity.

 

Jeeps are less likely to kill people than death racers, but since you’re going to die anyway, why not go out in blaze of glory instead of like a fruity, pretentious yuppie?

 

Karate is more likely to kill than Tai Chi.

 

Opinions are like assholes, wipe until clean.

 

Prying into a coffin may be the worst idea of your life.

 

Rental space is a cheap way to live, but maybe not the place most people want to be buried.

 

Stoppage time too often results in sudden death.

 

Troughs are for animals that live a meager existence until death.

 

Ugly people die sooner than pretty people often.

 

Vortex the mind around the concept that our temporary lives only serve as a warning to the future damned.

 

Withhold sex from a partner and your relationship will suffer a slow or rapid death.

 

Yearn for more, but know that even if you get it, you’ll still die forever someday.

 

Zippo lighters are enjoyable, but they’re primarily used by folks to engage in activities that kill us quicker.

 

Sense of balance is needed to cope with inevitable pain, suffering, and death.

 

The purpose of life is to laugh as much as possible before the universe pulls your curtain down.

 

Are you possibly mistaken about being guaranteed to live forever just because you obey an ancient book?

 

Amazing things can happen in life, but nobody seems to be able to produce miracles that lead to the dead being brought back to life anymore.

Things are fucked up, but not as badly as they may be once we die.

 

By the way, I’m sorry your family was hit by a bus.

 

The art behind life is that it is beautiful for a while until we start heading towards the grave.

 

Best of life is still nothing compared to the worst of death.

 

Parts of people want to live forever, but not people who hate living.

 

Of all my friends, I hope you die first.

 

Life is never going to be forever, but people still make eternal promises.

 

Film is a brilliant piece of art that can be extracted from life.

 

The funny thing about life is that it is unpredictable no matter how mundane it can seem.

 

Fictional characters are more important to more people than family members now.

Experience what makes life worth living- Waffle house breakfast.

 

Now is the time to live for your dream, especially if it’s a simple dream like sleeping more.

 

Make a better sandwich, because you could get hit by a bus today.

Better live now, because the future may never come.

 

Things can be realized by people who have intelligence and focus, and hopefully your family at least figures out enough to get burritos.

????

 

Killing others is morally wrong, unless you have the power to determine whether it’s legal.

 

Open your mind and you’ll be amazed at how many amazing things exist in the world.  There are people who make enough to money to survive who bowl most of their waking hours.

 

Potential friends exist in many places, but the folks at the retirement center may not appreciate a visit form 50 Cent as much as kids do.

 

Question everyone and everything you think you know.  Turns out, some of them may be wrong.

 

Respect is due to people who sacrifice to achieve something significant.  So acknowledge the fact that I once missed The Simpsons to take my kid to the hospital!

 

The best way to be tough is to ride around on your own elephant.

 

The more you sing at the office, the greater the chances of you being hired to be a great music hero.

 

Why not do everything possible to live well?  Because it often causes a lot of pain to live well!

 

Even if you excel, eventually your life seems to be taken over by death.

 

You aren’t perfect.  Neither is anyone, but there are reasons you’re not as famous as Michael Jackson.

 

Zero can be done to save the entire planet.  But a lot can be done to eat cookies, so set your goals low and watch how your success rate skyrockets.

 

All of our heroes are still destined to fall at times.  This makes us equal in the eyes of the universe as members of a tiny species who mostly destroy the extremely small portion of the one planet we live on.  No wonder the universe does everything possible to kill us all.

 

Moan about the injustice of the world, but only try to change it if you’re willing to risk your life for it. 

 

People who commit injustice tend to be committed to their cause.

 

Nothing can be done to change a lot of people instantly, but anyone is going to change over time.  It’s much like leaving a piece of pizza out- it’s exactly the same for a few days- but it sure as hell isn’t over the course of many years.

 

Put yourself through Chinese prison and see how homework seems easy after that.

 

Until there’s justice, there will always be some clueless people who actually believe it exists.

 

Where can one go for the best food?   This might be cheating, but so far from my experience, I’d have to say Earth.  The shit like tang they eat in space isn’t all that great.

 

Exactly how can one man change the world?  I’d say the easiest way to do so is to feed his family, or refuse to feed his family.  Either way, shit’s going to change.

 

Live the way you want to, but expect a bunch of assholes to try to stop you if you do.

 

POETRY OR SONGS?

 

PAUSE

 

A friend is someone who should treat you better than an indifferent stranger.

 

Even the best bands have tunes that few people know about.

 

Create a better way of life for yourself, and do it with something longer lasting than Play-doh.

 

Determine who the best people are based upon what they wear.

 

Fear anyone who has enough power over you to kill you without anyone knowing.

 

Gold plated streets wouldn’t make things better unless it were easy to steal and replace.

 

Help causes that matter unless it cuts into your time to watch sitcoms.

Kill enemies only if they resist your attempts to destroy their country and loved ones.

 

Lightning bugs may be used by people who can’t afford electricity.

 

Nothing is going to stop you from living a dream, except for waking up to reality.

 

Open a business to sacrifice years of your life to hopefully break even.

 

Quit any organization where you don’t start at the top- then we’ll all be winners.

 

Tip for journalists: Real quotes from others are harder to get than making up ones warped in your favor.

 

Vent about problems to poor people, because they always have at least as many.

 

Being required to act with joy is enough to make a person miserable.

 

HAVE THE BALLS TO MAKE NEW SHIT

 

Essence of rock n’ roll

 

Create a new type of music, book, movie, or comedy 

 

Knocked on the ass

 

Capture the attention of media hyped money

 

Even if it is only brief and full of shit

Knowledge we take with us to the grave does no good

 

So spread the words now while you can 

 

To emerge from a bogus scene

 

Anything I choose to do may be amazing

 

Or it may be shit

 

Desires of evil fucks who control corporations

 

Publishers of ideas

 

Logical sequences are conveniently forgotten

 

By herds and masses that have no taste or class

 

Promote lies and filth from within a corrupt system

 

Defeat government regulations

 

Protest against the health care of the people

 

Allow your fingers to float across the page

 

While coming up with great ideas

 

Replacing the lamest

 

Rejection isn’t necessarily final

 

Kept in awful chains by people who do nothing

 

Other than fuck over others to profit

SILLY GOALS

 

Be willing to give up silly pursuits

 

To do things that matter

 

Like making a silly book, movie, album

 

Screwing around with buddies

 

Makes little to no sense in the cartoon space age

 

Attaining a higher level of artistry

 

The gods we refer to as The B-52’s

 

At the heights of their powers

 

Conquer a subjected race of people

 

Appreciation in the finest sense

 

Of every word that is uttered

 

Having a sense of flow and rhythm is lovely

 

Impromptu without editing life

 

We build together or crumble apart

 

I wanted to write the best words of all-time

 

But I may not even write the best words in my family

 

KEEP GOING BRO

 

Status quo will lead to me being

 

Homeless, broke, hungry

 

On the brink of being a bum or dying 

 

I didn’t mind being a bum for a while

 

But the time to get more serious about life

 

May be now to avoid horror

 

People are going to take advantage of me

 

Unless I fight much harder

 

Build up resistance to pain

LIFE IS DEFINITELY FUNNY

 

Fans should be allowed to have opinions

 

But actual performers and athletes

 

Should also be free to ignore the opinions of fans

 

The difference between good music and bad music

 

May be largely subjective

 

But there are reasons why

 

The Jonas Brothers sell millions of records

 

And guys who can play every note Mozart ever wrote

 

Die without a record deal

 

Even if it’s trite garbage

 

People like new shit

 

If you want to enjoy life

 

Convince others to join

 

Your merry little band of travelers

 

Until you pass away into oblivion

 

COMEDY

 

Appreciate all of the time you get to laugh

 

Because the joke is likely to be on you eventually

 

Some people have no real way to cope with

 

The awful parts of reality

 

Other than to try to laugh at them

 

SEX

 

Most adults love sex

 

But spend so little time having it 

 

Perhaps it is a dish best served

 

In small portions for many folks

Sex jokes are easy to make

 

Because it’s the only part of life

 

All of humanity tends to have in common

 

We’re here because of sex

 

If every man had a chance to have

 

As much sex as they wanted

 

It might end the world as we know it

 

ART

 

Producing a masterpiece may take years

 

There are already so many masterpieces

 

It may seem pointless to make all of the effort to do so

 

Creating is one of the few arts

 

That may never die until the humanity does

 

It takes a brilliant mind to create great art

 

But anyone can pick up a crayon and give it a shot

 

TRAVEL

 

Places I’d love to travel to

 

Tuscany with Tess

 

And our close family and friends

 

Rio for carnival

 

South Africa for The World Cup

 

The Caribbean for relaxation, surf, and scenery

 

Mykonos, the island I just missed

 

PHILOSOPHY

 

All of the philosophy in the world means nothing

 

If there aren’t living being to appreciate it

 

It’s best to have a philosophy that encourages

 

Appreciation of temporary life

 

I’ve embraced some poor philosophies

 

I’ve made some improvements

 

But continue to have a much less than perfect beliefs

 

All of the logic in human history has yet to create

 

One obviously true philosophy for all people

 

The best ideas of the greatest minds

 

Are still unable to conquer

 

Many of the worst human problems

 

SPORTS

 

Writing about sports is a funny way to make a living

 

But on an absurd planet

 

It’s not even near the top of the list

 

Hyping an athlete as much as Michael Jordan

 

Would be funny if they were just average

 

I wonder if a film about sports like Major League

 

Will ultimately be better remembered by future generations

 

Ahead of all real athletes

 

FOOD

 

It’s a delight to be able to eat one wants

 

But not constantly

 

Or it can kill

 

Living in Chicago is a nice reminder

 

That you’ll never have enough time to eat

 

All foods that look good

 

Many people go to bed hungry

 

While other people struggle to lose weight

SOCIETY

 

I never wanted to look like everyone else

 

But the truth is that no matter how hard I tried to be different

 

I have an ordinary skeleton

 

It’d odd that many people are judged

 

Based upon the size of the house they live in

 

Until humans can live forever, there’s no such thing as a permanent residence.

 

Many things I’ve worked so hard to understand

Have disappeared forever

HARDLY ART

 

Enjoyable family fun

 

Reflect back to the enjoyable moments of life

 

Theme parks may come to mind 

 

The truth is that visions of beauty tend to be subjective

 

The amount of great experiences is nearly limitless

 

As long as one has good health 

 

Bad health limits options quite a bit

 

Human interest puff piece

 

Before the main death toll counts

 

Make the workers fearful and afraid yet again 

 

What do you want to contribute to the world before you die? 

 

Something worthwhile that leads to others being able to enjoy life

 

And learn a bit before they die 

 

Quit offering lame excuses for why not yet good enough 

 

Wanderlust movie navigates a richer experience

 

Falling from grace we may have never had in the first place 

 

Stop whining about being sore

 

Get busier living well

 

Live and breathe the geography of a particular area  

 

Travel guides to life

 

Christian theme re-visited in pop songs

 

Just to reach a stupid mainstream market

 

HOW LAUGHABLE

 

Make more of a movie out of life

 

By bargaining for the range of human emotions

 

Have trouble predicting the next phenomenon

 

Exhibitionist streaks we tend to display

 

Perhaps the state of pop music is rather trivial

 

Considering the global crisis of guaranteed death

 

But sounds serve as inspirations for thoughts

 

A more credible source

 

Mere ideas are extrapolated

 

Rational concept that only promotes self-interests

Thrive in a world full of pretenders and haters

THE GREATEST DANGER: CRIMINALS OR GOVERNMENTS?

 

People who cause chaos

 

Are quite a problem

 

But tend to be squashed rapidly

 

The real problem for most of us

 

The people in charge

 

Who supposedly look after our interests

 

Unless the our is the elite

 

Our interests are ignored by leaders

 

Our interests only become realities

 

By fighting

 

Either by ourselves

 

Or in solidarity with others

 

Who serve a common purpose

Impossible by peaceful means

 

Nearly every time

 

Better to go along with the system

 

Or fight with everything you’ve got

 

Yet another decision to make on the road of life

 

Before you join the nicest folks and the total pricks

 

In permanent death

 

REALIZING WHAT’S BEEN DONE

 

So much music already out there

 

How could one make something superior?

 

So many books already

 

How could one make something even better?

 

So many movies already in the world

 

How could one make an even better one?

 

There’s no right answer

 

There’s only guessing

 

Personal judgment calls

 

The truth is that enjoyment of life is subjective

 

Although there are many things many tend to do

 

Bits of life that give joy to millions

 

Almost nothing in the universe

 

Is able to bring pleasure to every single person

 

The truth is that mystery never stops

 

Life is often hard to figure out

 

And the few successes of humanity

 

Are quite amazing in consideration

 

Of the obvious truth

 

That we’re all here just for a while

 

Yet some choose to give

 

Instead of fucking around all of the time

 

That’s what makes some small percent of humans

 

Worthy of respect and honor

DO IT NOW

 

Finish making a contribution

 

But don’t let it kill you

 

Before life does

 

SECRET TO LIFE?

 

Live as long as you can

 

While living as well as you can

 

Even though you may never find out

 

How you can do either

 

Knowledge is power

 

But only if used

 

Too many folks

 

Never do shit

 

With what they got

SILLY MUSICAL TRUTHS

 

On a planet of more songs and types of music

 

Then I’ll ever have time to hear

 

I still get stuck surrounded by people

 

Who willingly listen to the same ridiculous

 

Mundane pop song

 

For the 237th time that week

 

Driven nuts by people

 

Who ignore the world

 

Of nearly endless musical beauty

 

For another Boy Band

 

Or another blond bimbo

 

IMPORTANT?

 

Deciding what to focus on can be tough

 

If drawn to a particular part of it

May as well embrace the love

 

Do all we can to bring hilarity to life

 

Lighten the load for a few folks

 

Great artists only last for a while

 

Getting married to change a way of life

 

Settlings of trappings

 

Only great actors stand out

 

But so many mundane ones still get work

 

While so many talented ones sit out

 

Makes little sense

 

In an often senseless world

 

Friends of old come to visit

 

If only for a while

The truths of one age change

 

New truths become relevant

 

Keeping up with change of life is nearly impossible

Yet so many people still try

 

What is it changes

 

What is done becomes nearly everything

 

Enjoy the moments you have left

 

Dig the simple pleasures

 

Having bread to eat, water to drink

 

But dig the greatest pleasures too

 

Great sex with a lover

 

Hanging with the family

 

Being able to listen to fine music

 

Experience life richly

 

Then you’ll see

 

Life is a joy for those who make it so

 

WORDS

 

Mere words don’t often change the world

 

Actions often do

 

Even if it’s just a small change

 

Better to have a small impact

Than no impact at all

 

On a planet of nearly 7 billion folks

 

It’s unlikely that you’ll be able to reach a lot of them

 

But you can always try to do something

 

To reach a tiny amount of them

 

Hell, there are billions of people

 

Who live completely different lives

 

Even Jesus and the mass media

 

Fail to reach them all

Settle for your small sphere of life

 

Try to do a little good if you can

 

Enjoy the rest of the time to live

 

As much like you want to

 

As often as you can

 

Because living well is a mystery

 

And we all have to try to figure out beauty

 

If we have any sense at all

 

LYRICS FOR A DORK

 

Funniest things ever

 

Often get lost in translations

 

Former friends were funny

 

But they became responsible

 

Mortgage payments drain the fun out of folks

 

For many the price of ownership

 

Is the price of a large amount of joy

 

Not worth it in that case

 

But for others

 

The price of ownership

 

Is just some measly green papers

 

To enhance experiences one gets

 

Virtually on command

 

People fight like rats at a buffet

 

Just for a few more pellets of rewards

 

It’d actually be funny

 

If in most cases

 

It wasn’t so very sad

 

EMOTION AND READING

 

The worst movies of all-time

 

Serve as an inspiration

 

Writing a rough draft

Turning it into something profound

 

Using knowledge for a purpose

 

Even if only temporary

 

Credit folks who try

 

With advancing the species

Don’t always have to be a genius

 

Just have to participate

 

Unique souls break into a business

Commit to living well

 

Pretenders to a crown

 

Perhaps even including former rulers

 

Nobody stays on top forever

 

The few who get to experience the top

 

Can attest to that

 

The people who say nothing changes

 

Are complete fools

 

Everything changes all of the time

 

It just happens gradually

 

So fools tend to miss it

 

Even though it always happens

 

Masters of world music

 

Too often go unrecognized

 

Too often unrewarded

 

But keep doing it anyway

The people who are called to different paths

Don’t care about tons of prestige

They care about their own causes

 

Whatever they may be

 

Filtering in and out of brilliance

Embrace the moments of purity

Change is coming soon

 

It can be felt in the air

 

Becoming deeply cynical of leaders

 

Is probably a good thing

 

Wrestling with God is pointless

 

Pop musicians are easier to grasp

 

Even if they’re quite silly too

 

At least it’s something tangible

That can be understood

 

By one of the five standard senses

NO LOVE CAN BE PROVEN IN A LAB

 

For the love of a woman

 

A man will often do rather strange things 

 

Making sense out of the past

 

Is often difficult to impossible to do 

 

The work of your life may not even mean a thing

To the person you love most

 

Love never makes sense

 

Enjoy it, if you can

 

But don’t waste any time

 

Trying to understand it

 

You’ll lose

 

THE MAN IS IN CHARGE

 

Giving into an ordained system of power

 

Keeps the ruling class empowered

 

The working classes working 

 

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

 

Notes and lyrics

 

Mentioned along with the improvisational friends

 

Getting a working class job like so many others

 

Have a shred of hope in a time and place

 

By living in wanderlust

 

A lot of folks live in loud desperation

 

A guaranteed way of death for far too many folks

 

RELEVANCE FOR THE LAST MONTH OR TWO

 

I can only make my work meaningful

 

Or I can continue to wait for no good reason

 

I’ve been hesitant to finish my final products

 

I know how many works already exist

 

Why I want to make mine exceptional

 

Have the courage to make what I’ve formed useful

 

I can continue to just watch

 

Or I can take risks to actually get involved with humanity

 

MY AFFAIR WITH MUSIC

 

There’s more amazing music

 

Than I’ll ever have time to listen to

 

That’s been made by hopeful humans 

 

I believe music will always be relevant to my life

 

There’s a mysterious element in tunes

 

That touches people like me uniquely

 

But formal structures and processes

 

Can be studied for a lifetime

 

Without mastering any of them 

 

I’ll try to enjoy whatever music I can

 

For as long as I can

THE UNIVERSE

 

There’s no cause and effect relationship with you and the universe.  You ended up here, but the universe has no specific instructions.  You have to create a voyage you find worthwhile if you can.  But the universe appears to be indifferent to our little human activities.

 

No matter how hard I try, I seem to fail to understand everything in the universe.

 

The universe is big

 

And I’m small

 

But at least I’m tall

Compared to yall

 

The universe is the weirdest place I’ve ever been to.

 

The universe makes about as much sense as a god-awful b-film made to make money.

 

The universe plays cruel jokes every day, but humans are chastised for imitating their creator?

 

The universe is a vast place full of nearly endless mysteries, but some people still devote the bulk of the time of their life simply to making enough money to survive.

 

The universe has said nothing to me directly, which I figure gives me permission to do anything I can get away within it.

 

The universe is nearly impossible to dump while staying alive.  Believe me, I’ve tried.

 

The universe may be cruel or a friend, but if it’s a friend now, it’s always a traitor in the end.

 

The universe seems to be mostly made out of elements that scientists claim not to be able to understand.  Yet so many non-scientists seem to claim that they know a God is watching over all of us and has a specific purpose for everything in the universe.

 

The universe is more amazing than I can imagine.  I’m still trying to understand the gift of potato chips.

 

If we have an appreciation for the universe, it’s odd that we focus so much time and energy squabbling about how to best live on this tiny planet.

 

The universe is probably indifferent to your greatest hopes, but on the plus side, your most ridiculous failures as well.

 

The universe is larger than I can understand.  I don’t even get basic astrophysics.

 

Instead of trying to control the universe, maybe it’s wise to build a small fire and stay close to it.

 

Human actions may change things for a while on this planet, but we have a way to go before we prove to have much of an impact on the universe.

 

Despite the fact that the universe seems indifferent to me and my kind, I like hanging with it.

 

Despite the fact that the universe is indifferent to me now, I hope it’ll someday show me favoritism.

 

I think the worst drug I’ve ever been addicted to is the universe.

 

Someone is too ambitious if they’re unhappy until they control the universe.

 

It’s hard to believe that such a strange universe produces so many strange people who try so hard to achieve the failed quest to be normal.

 

In the grand scheme of the universe, it may not matter much to the human species whether you lived like a bum or royalty.  But it’ll probably determine your opinion of how pleasant the universe is.

 

The universe is beyond my full understanding, but I still don’t want to automatically assume a magical invisible spirit being rules over all just because I don’t have every answer about the truth of the universe.

 

Admitting that the universe is often beyond comprehension is the first step towards being sane.

 

The universe has some great parts, but most of it offers little in the easy to access oxygen department. 

 

The universe may be explored further by humanity, but we’ve still got tons of turmoil even on our small piece of the puzzle.

 

It’s possible that the most bizarre piece of the universe’s puzzle is our planet, but it might be just one of many twisted realities.

 

The universe isn’t going to wait for you.  It’s got a journey of its own.

 

The universe is a grand place for people who accept that they only have a bit of time to enjoy its privileges before permanent expiration of membership.

 

The universe may be expanding, but I don’t want to risk property values in that part of reality.

 

The universe seems to have a few good things within it, but most of it’s hard for me to see.

 

The universe is only a friend if I like associating with people who give me nothing and are certain to eventually kill me.  The universe is a temporary friend, but an eventual killer.

 

Although it’s probably good to be excited about some of the people, places, and things in your life, it’s possible that other people may want to focus on something else in the universe.  So enjoy what you can, but never take your temporary life in this giant universe that eventually destroys us all too seriously.

FUNNY SONG

 

Well this song might not be as good as Beethoven

 

Or even as good as Bach

 

This tune might be just an all right one

 

Maybe not even as good as rock

 

But there’s one thing I know for sure

 

And if you don’t you suck

 

This simple song’s better than Hannah Montana

 

This stupid riff’s better than Lady Gaga

 

The worst shit I yell’s better than Britney Spears

 

If they make millions then so should I

 

They shouldn’t be heroes

Their music should die

 

If they’re worshipped

 

I should be bigger than Jesus

 

If the world was right I’d have billions

 

Buying tacky shit with my face on it

 

Oh my only dream left

 

Is to be better than mundane blond pop star

 

SERIOUS SONG

 

Too many babies are born

 

Not enough to eat

Too many pricks rise to power

 

Too few evolve for better

 

The whole world’s destined to die

 

And experience pain along the way

 

Grim reality for most

 

Hard to know what to do

 

In a world with so much uncertainty

 

Hard to be motivated

Knowing it all goes away

 

Since we only live for a while

Should try to enjoy the ride

 

Until it slips away

 

POETIC SONG

 

Rebellion in the timing and sense of the words

 

Jazz fusion plays in my mind

Better than the rest

 

It survives my test

 

Put in a guest

 

I’d like to request

 

A festive mood for a besting toad

 

Looting the riot stores

 

Capital idea James

The nicest guys on the planet         

 

May not be able to help us all

 

It’s a shame we have to go

 

We were having such a lovely time

Wasting another Friday night

 

Sleeping and watching TV

 

Kicked my ass several times over

 

Life is nothing but a guess

 

Finish projects that matter

 

Commit to the end

 

A ripping guitar riff is unsettling

 

The times of life are puzzling

 

For the love of the work

 

For the love of craft

 

It pays to pay attention

 

To things that seem to matter

 

Never bother with garbage

 

Sax solos are far too short

 

Touched by a distant memory

 

Hoping to have some content

 

Without being pretentious

 

Table for four please

 

Love to have a look at those

 

Terrible ideas plague the species

 

Getting over quarterly losses

 

Bidding for the wrong team

 

Festival of the mind

Grocery store coupon deals

Meals on super fly wheels

 

Portions of proceeds go to me

 

Igniting a slight fire from within

 

Polite society can go to hell

 

Hubris is another word for asshole

 

Kicking and screaming all the while

 

Funk flares up joy in me

 

Dance til’ death

 

For the times we have

 

Never mind that grunge

 

Pot is going to be legal

 

Little will change

 

Decide what to do

 

Make the move

Live out loud

 

Or chill out quietly

 

Embrace all the good things

 

Resist the bullshit

 

Know how to do best

 

Right the wrongs

Write the songs

 

Loop the tape

 

Wear a cape

 

Be a hero

 

If you dare

 

If you care

 

Or wear the collar

 

Make a dollar

 

Go home

 

Watch TV

 

Pray for money

 

Lack the honey

 

Hope for better days

 

Refuse to change your ways

 

Life becomes a haze

 

Enjoy your laze

 

ANTI-RELIGION SONG

 

More than 100,000 people die every day

 

Abortions are nearly non-stop

 

Millions of people sick at any given time

 

And your God just watches

 

Not giving two shits

 

That’s either a sadistic God

 

Or a powerless one

 

Either way, count me out

 

I refuse to worship a loser or a prick

 

You should too

 

If humans are ever going to solve problems

 

We need a lot less prayer and a lot more work

 

Already obvious to rational people

 

Even supposed believers already know

 

Their god doesn’t really answer their prayers

 

They can hope for it

But they know God ain’t no genie

 

Or the people who pray

 

Have the worst prayers of all-time

 

Hey God, don’t worry about those starving children

 

How about giving me a raise?

 

Hey God, I trust it’s your will for thousands to die in war

Why not make this one guy with crutches at a revival meeting

 

Start doing the electric turbo breakdance?

 

Fuck all of the people who die if you want them to

 

I’d love for you to get the Vatican nicer stained glass

 

But it’s no wonder your God doesn’t care

 

How many human inventions care about human affairs?

 

SONG ABOUT ME

 

I’m twisted

 

Maybe more than them

 

I tried a few things

Failed miserably

 

And settled for the mundane

 

I accept some of my fate

 

But not when I’m getting fucked by assholes

 

At least I can tell them what they are

Even if it results

 

In me getting clubbed

 

And thrown into some nasty place

 

Beaten down for refusing to go along

 

With their corrupt plans

 

Life is funny

 

Serve the masters

 

Or live like a bum

 

Neither is a good idea

 

But might as well make a choice

 

There’s a huge difference

 

Between getting your ass kicked

 

And getting your ass kissed

 

Most prefer the latter

 

But is it worth it to kiss ass?

 

When you can just live on the outside?

 

BITS OF WISDOM

 

Efforts aren’t a waste if we apply time and talents to help other people who fail in the battle against the universe.

 

Anyone up before 6 AM is either cursed or driven.

 

No matter what time it is, no matter what the temperature, no matter what day of the year\it is, someone in Chicago is running outside in shorts.

 

If you live in Chicago, even if you’re a conservative law abiding citizen, at least a few times a year you’ll come close to being killed by random traffic.

 

Many people are wise enough to give up way before struggling for years to find there are no permanent solutions to human problems.

 

Perhaps the things in life that are meant to be taken seriously only last for a while.  Having a sense of peace or security, even temporarily, may only be a feeling that resides in humans for a brief moment. 

 

Give up on perfection, aim for excellence.  There is no way to be perfect.  There are demonstrable ways to achieve excellence.

 

I HAVE TO DO ALL OF THIS?

 

I have to be willing to move on.

 

I have to be willing to let go.

 

I have to be willing to try in the real world. 

 

I have to be full of integrity, but also know that I may have to compromise at times.

I have to be willing to do everything possible to live well and spend the rest of my time being productive and earning a living.

 

I have to be more than I’ve been thus far in life.

 

I have to try harder for the ones I love, and for the ones who suffer who I don’t even know at this point.

 

I have to do better than I have thus far.

I have to contribute to parts of life that I believe are worthwhile.

 

I have to have courage and be willing to make up a point of life that’s meant to be inspiring.

 

I have to be a wonder in all that I do and say.

I have to relax and try to enjoy life as best possible.

 

I have to be a buzz kill and get a much worse type of life than anything else to make a format funny.

 

I have to be willing to explore the cave of the unknown with others who I want to participate with.

 

I have to try to be better than anything I am in the present.

 

I have to be an amazing person who does and says unique things that seem to matter more than anything else in life and make a row of differences in the way that I perceive reality.

 

I don’t actually have to do anything.  I’d like to keep living, and keep living well.  But I’m pretty damn sure that the universe is going to go on in its chaotic state, with or without me.

CREATIVE PEOPLE FAIL

 

Living in a fantasy camp of the mind 

 

Being parodied may result in being offended

 

Or being approached with a unique joy in life

 

I’ve been quite lucky, and I have to push to make my lucky ass relevant

 

To count as influences, people should inspire you to actually do something.

 

Some of the worst ideas ever committed to film projects

 

Happened because some people still thought they were worth making 

 

Ridiculous ideas are fun to laugh at

 

They serve as examples of how human projects can be off target

 

In reality nothing is like the vision some people want to be true 

 

STYLE TUNES

SONG- WRITE A BLUES SONGS FROM THIRD WORLD PERSPECTIVE BUT HUMOR

 

Oh man, I’m so down

 

Living in the third world

 

I got no money

 

I got no job

 

I see people dyin’

 

Ain’t no food around

 

Some war lord is killing

 

Some young kid is robbing

 

Some mother is crying

 

Ain’t no hope around

 

It’s the same in Rwanda

 

It’s the same in Tibet

 

It’s the same in Brazil

 

It’d the same in Tikrete

 

Ain’t got no cash

Might not even live

 

Can’t someone help us

 

Something gotta give

 

Third world blues

 

Things are real tough

 

Don’t want to hear bullshit

 

Bout how you got it rough

 

Yeah that’s some bullshit

To think you got it rough

 

PARODY SONG- NEW YORK - CHICAGO

 

Chicago 

 

Some fat guys will remind you

 

There’s nothing you can do

 

Chicago

 

The Mayor’s super corrupt now

 

Life his father before him

 

JOKES- NEWS JOKES

The funny thing about the news is that it never really changes.  Just about every news broadcast since I’ve been alive has been:  Good evening.  I’m blank from blank station news.  Our top story, some depressing event meant to instill fear while captivating you to feel the need to watch the rest of our show.  Next we have national news, which informs you of all the grand tragedy that takes place in the nation you live in.  But your fill in the blank leaders are debating about the best way to reform policies.  In local news, this part of your town is going to shit.  But don’t worry, there are some good things in the world  Distractions like music, movies, and sports should be able to take over your mindset enough to calm you down from the fear we’ve installed into you.  But just in case that’s not enough, here’s a fluff piece about an animal who with a wacky talent.  That will put a nice cherry on top of the fear based news sundae we just fed you.  Good night.  Make sure you tune in tomorrow, and every day for the rest of your lives, even though we pretty much churn out the same repetitive shit each night.

 

SCRIPT IDEAS- a robot dog that has an idiot human partner solving mysterious crimes together

 

A TOTAL HACK WRITER WITH A REPUTATION hires nobodies who are brilliant to churn out “his” material

LYRICS WITH NO MEANING

                            

The end seems near

Too soon I fear

 

I never had a chance

 

The world was too strong

 

I didn’t get along

 

The pricks always win

 

Despite all their sin

 

I can’t believe I lost

 

The sea of life tossed

 

Me around like a stone

 

I was left all alone

 

Waiting to die

 

Final goodbye

 

TOO MUCH TROUBLE

 

The life that I lived

 

Is over now

I listened to a bunch of folks

But never did shit

 

Can’t do that anymore

 

Or else I’ll fucking die

 

I’m not a kid anymore

 

I have to make rent

 

Sad that’s my only goal

 

Just to avoid being homeless

 

Even that’s a struggle

 

Because I was a bum

 

Too bad I was a dipshit

 

Another ant flushed down the drain

 

Another wasted brain

 

Team humanity going down

 

Team humanity’s still around

But not for long

 

Universe is collecting dues

 

THE MEANING OF LIFE?

 

I don’t think there is a meaning of life

 

Just some ways to live better

 

And some that really suck

 

But none of it can be proven

 

To have meaning for all

 

I know a few things I like

And a few others do

 

But that doesn’t mean shit

 

Unless you want it to

 

I dig music

 

So do a lot of other folks

 

But not always

 

I’d be fine if music were eliminated

 

From the entire universe

 

If all we had was that awful

 

Country line dancing shit

 

But millions seem to like it

 

And I can’t prove em’ wrong

 

But I can make fun of them

 

All fucking day and night long

 

A NEED TO CREATE

Is there any point to creating

 

If one never shares shit

 

The best things in the world

Won’t mean much if they sit

 

In some dank shoebox

 

Seen by no one

 

But how many people trot out non-sense

 

And act like it is the greatest

 

Just because they made it

 

A bunch of delusional morons

 

Is it better to slave without knowing

 

If your work is great or shit

Or to hide away anything you do            

 

Guaranteeing a non-result

 

THE END OF THE SITCOM ROAD

 

16 million viewers don’t lie

 

How could my sitcom die?

 

Oh Lord, how I tried

 

So many network execs lied

 

So many loyal fans cried

 

The end is here, wacky neighbor go home

 

Unemployment is here, Crazy Buddies is done

 

CREATIVE NEED

 

The world needs no more songs

 

But they’re nice to have

 

The world needs no more books

 

But they’re nice to have

 

The world needs no more movies

But they’re nice to have

 

Perhaps selecting a non-essential potential profession

 

And being less than professional about it

 

Has led to amazingly bad results

 

Another lesson for another day

 

Perhaps most of the time of life is meant to be joyless

 

For most of the people who’ve ever lived

 

Emotional states are to be recovered

 

Better times may be ahead

The losses and the marks of life

 

Make a difference in the end

 

Move forward and act with courage

 

Poetry does little to nothing to convince others

 

A better way exists

 

But the imagery that provides joys

 

May mean little in the end

 

Sacrifice for something meaningful

Quit doing things that matter none

Make the compromises needed

 

To live how you want to

 

Enjoy what you can

 

Embark on a new mission

 

Set up a better way of life

Pay the rent

 

Don’t become spent

Hustle for what counts

 

Make life worth living

 

Make a passionate cry

 

Make an inspiring try

 

Open the mind and heart

 

Life should be fantastic

 

But it often isn’t

Get over tragedies

 

Get more power to live

 

JOKES ON HUMANITY

Fear can be crippling, particularly if one fears immunization shots.

 

There’s a reason why rock stars often excite others and statisticians usually don’t.

 

Jailing innocent people is a crime.  But it’s a bad idea to only jail people who candidly confess to felonies.

 

Kill the enemy from within, unless it happens to resemble you far too much.

 

Lying to children is an awful way to make money, but 3 months a year off may convince you to teach.

 

Tighten the belt around the necks of leaders who make sure most people have to tighten their belts.

 

Nothing can open minds faster than a gun.

 

Travel

 

Go to the distant places

 

Dare to take a risk

 

See the world you want to see

 

You’ll be amazed

 

The world is bigger than your backyard

 

Unless you have a global perspective

 

No matter where you go

 

You’ll learn new lessons

 

Life is thriving all over the globe

 

Go where you feel you belong

 

Go where you may be wrong

 

You’ll always wonder if you don’t

 

You’ll never wonder if you go

 

Open roads and endless highways

 

Flowing seas and well-built skyways

 

Humanity gives a lot to the Earth

 

But the Earth gives way more back

 

If you never see some more of it

 

You’ll feel less a part of it

 

Locals are fun to live with

 

But so are locals across the world

 

Everyone can be a little Columbus

 

Even if just for a day

 

Then you can say

You know a little more

 

About this vast world

 

Sports

 

Watching The World Cup

 

NBA Finals

 

The local ball club

 

Kids messing around

 

Sports are a lot of fun

 

Meant to be enjoyed

 

Play around while you can

 

Dig the ball game of choice

 

No matter where you go

People love their team

 

Support your favorite warriors

 

They may dazzle again

 

The figures of life all step out

 

And bring it home again

 

Watch them win it all

 

Watch them cry in defeat

 

The glory and agony of athletics

 

Will make you feel alive

 

Games

 

Another rainy day

 

Maybe you should play

 

A board game for a while

It will make you smile

 

Take you back to being a kid

 

Remember what you did

 

Got to play with friends

 

Got to play pretend

 

The joys of cards and dice

 

It was oh so nice

 

And now the rain has gone away

But you can still stay

 

Inside and play

 

An old board game

 

Anti-religion

 

I don’t want to take away hope

I want to point out the truth

 

If there is all-powerful invisible god

 

It does nothing to prove it’s real

 

Just because followers have zeal

 

Doesn’t make it real

 

Being skeptical of the heal

 

If it’s something that can be faked

 

An amputated limb is never magically replaced

 

Never seen one rise from the dead

 

Seen wealthy churches instead

 

Sucking suckers for their bucks

 

Not a matter of luck

 

Religions systematically drain the hopeful

 

And give them an afterlife discount

 

A coupon that might never be redeemed

 

It sure seems wrong

 

To sing some non-sense songs

 

Pass a collection plate

 

And simply lay back and wait

 

To get rich from others sins

 

They shop out of thrift store bins

 

While churches get more stained glass

 

A gold plated mass

 

A new car for the preacher

 

Barely a meal for the meekest

 

We have no proof of God

 

It seems quite odd

 

To live for a world that may never be

 

Instead of the one

 

That we know we have definitely

 

Philosophy

 

I want to know everything possible

 

But the older I get

 

That seems quite limited

 

Time goes by

 

A lot of people die

 

Even more come in

 

But nobody wins

 

At everything they want

 

The temporary ride

 

No one can hide

 

From the short life we get

 

It’s hard to bet

 

On the best odds in life

 

Too many have strife

 

Trying to find peace

 

They come to grief

 

Good ideas help

Deep thoughts may last a while

 

But no intelligence saves forever

 

Philosophy is only good for a while

 

Science

 

If anything can save humanity

It will be miracles of science

 

Maybe they never will

 

But at least there’s a chance

 

Medicine is the way

 

Look what we have today

 

Longer life spans

 

Healthier food to eat

 

Better technology

 

More entertainment than we can view

 

Everything is made new

 

After a few short years

 

Options always increasing

 

Quality of life is releasing

 

Unimagined possibilities

We have science to thank

 

Thanks to the eggheads and the geeks

 

The geniuses and freaks

 

Who allow the rest of us to live

 

And spend our time in better ways

 

Thanks for the work of science

 

Food

 

Always a debate

 

Just what should I eat?

 

I know I’d love some pizza

I bet I’d dig some chips

Chocolate always tastes good

But they say fruit’s better for me

 

So many delicious foods

I can only eat a few at a time

 

I want to have the flavors of the gods

 

Come alive in my mouth right now

 

Maybe I’ll chow down at a buffet

Or a simple sandwich at home

 

I know that I’ll win no matter what

As long as I follow my gut

 

More restaurants than I can ever visit

Man I love this town

 

A bored diner in Chicago

Should open their eyes and enjoy

 

Just a few options from around the world

 

The gifts of food never stop

 

And if you’re not sure what to do

Just ask for cheese on top

 

Clothing

 

I have a few new clothes

 

I got them all for free

 

The ladies in my life are good to me

 

They give me new shirts and pants

 

Funny that I mostly hang out shirtless

 

In my underwear

 

I’d rather have cheaper clothes

 

That I don’t have to worry about

 

No life of a prince for me

 

Give me cheap threads and let me be on my way

 

Anyone who pays too much for clothes

 

Is a grand fool indeed

 

Too bad that fashions change on a whim

 

Give up and just wear what you like

 

And then you can live in peace

Shelter

 

Having a place to live is great

 

But owning a home may be overrated

 

Mortgage payments and higher taxes

 

Have to grow up and cut the lawn

 

Might have to fix a septic tank

 

It may break your bank

 

Always a risk in owning a home

 

But you might find a treasure trove

 

Some people are happy with what they’ve got

 

Others never settle for anything less than a castle

 

Life

 

Live right now while you still can

 

Time to stand up and be a man

 

Or a woman if you want

 

The time of life is short and you must get down now

 

Or maybe never at all

 

Have a ball

 

You already know the end

 

Please don’t pretend

 

You can’t beat it

 

Michael Jackson couldn’t beat it

 

Die with your boots on

 

Or off if your prefer

 

But know that it’s coming soon

 

So live right now to the max

 

Maybe you can beat the tax

 

But death is knocking at your door

 

You can try not to answer it

 

But it will hunt you down

 

No protein shakes or sit-ups will change it

 

So accept your final destiny

 

And accept your temporary destiny

 

Live out loud now

 

I MISS YOU EVEN WHEN I’M WITH YOU GIRL

 

I miss you girl

 

I miss that sweet lovin’

 

Yeah, I know you’re with me right here now girl

 

But I’ll never stop missing you

 

I’ll miss you when you get up to get a sandwich

 

I’ll miss you from across the room

 

I’ll miss when you take the dog for a walk

 

I’ll miss you when you and your mama talk

 

I’ll miss you when you take out the trash

 

I’ll miss you when you watch a TV show I don’t like

 

I’ll miss you when you go to the bathroom

 

I’ll miss you when you fall asleep before me

 

I’ll miss you when you’re in my arms

 

I’ll miss you when we’re making love

 

I’ll miss you girl, until the day I’m dead

 

Unless I can miss you girl from beyond the grave

 

COMEDY SHOULD BE EASY TO SEE IN AN ABSURD UNIVERSE

 

How the hell did we get here?

 

It makes no sense

 

Why do we worry so much about the ride

 

Knowing it all ends in a tragic car wreck

 

Music makes some people lose their minds

 

But others despise it

 

Books inspire some to change lives

 

Others to run away

 

Movies bring hope to billions

 

But make billions want to vomit

 

We only have a little time

So we should try to make it great

 

Enjoy the time we have left

 

And enjoy whatever we can

 

My wacky family

 

The have all the problems

 

They drink too much

They fight a lot

They argue about money

 

They yell at each other

 

They threaten each other

 

They throw things at each other

 

They steal from each other

 

They sleep with each others wives

They pull each others teeth out

 

They gouge each others eyes out

 

They piss on each other when they sleep

 

They steal each others children

 

Sell them on the black market

 

They shoot arrows at each other

 

They get each other IRS audits

 

They hire hit men to whack each other

 

Oh my nutty family

DISHONEST DIALOGUE

 

God, you’re such a dick sometimes.

 

I’d rather be a dick than a cunt.

 

Oh how clever you piece of shit.

 

Okay, shut the fuck up you bitch whore, your Mom’s coming over.

 

Oh, hello Andy, nice to see you.

 

Indeed it is Mrs. Marah.  I was just complimenting Julie on her tasteful decorations.

 

Oh, how lovely.

 

And I was just telling Andy how pleasant his company is.

 

THEME SONG

 

Watch this show

 

It’s really good

Nothing better to do

Than watch this show

 

Sit down and relax

 

Make sure you watch it all

 

Don’t forget the commercials

 

They keep us on the air

 

Please don’t forget the commercials

 

They’ll be really good too

 

Buy what they say to

 

Keep watching our show

 

Tell everyone you know

 

It’s the greatest show in human history!

 

MOVIE THEME

 

What an attractive film star

 

You’d want to have sex with them

 

How about that opening scene

 

Makes you want to keep watching

 

Anything could happen

 

But it’ll be exciting no matter what

 

We’ll laugh when it’s funny

 

We’ll keep paying money

 

To see this sexy film star again

 

What a brilliant script

What a brilliant cast

 

Man it uses music well

 

What cinematography

 

Art in every way

 

This flick will change your life

You’ll be a better person

 

The world itself will change

 

Because you watch this film

Yes the world will change forever

 

Because you watch this film

 

I QUIT THIS STINKIN’ JOB

 

That’s it

 

I’ve had enough

 

I’m tired of this bull stuff

 

You pay me too little

 

You work me too hard

No one appreciates me

 

Well Mister, those days are done

 

You can’t tell me what to do any more

 

I plan to find other ways to work

 

I’ve realized it’s high time

 

To try something new with my life

 

I’ll show the world what I’ve got

 

Blaze a new and exciting trail

 

Please accept my two week notice

 

I hope you understand

 

The time for me to move on is now

 

Or in the near future anyway

 

But eventually I will say to you good sir

 

I quit this stikin’ job!

 

Oh man, I’m sorry my language was so foul

 

I take back the crass statement

 

I’d still appreciate a solid letter of recommendation

 

To my next potential employers

 

Before I can gain the courage to tell them

 

I quit that stinkin’ job too!

 

FALLEN POP CULTURE REFERENCE KING

 

I used to know all the greats

 

Jackie Gleason, Rod Serling, and Lenny Bruce were my men

 

I rolled with the top dogs and high class all stars

 

I was treated like royalty

I could recognize any pop culture reference

 

From 1950- 1963

 

But the world changed on me

 

I realized suddenly

 

Times like mine could never be again

 

It’s worse than the worst sin

 

My knowledge is virtually useless

 

In the age of the internet

 

These kids with their damn Madonna and Michael Jackson

 

Think they know the greats

 

I tell you they’re no Stan Kenton

 

Or Lionel Hampton legends

 

If I hear any more of this newfangled David Lettermen

 

I think I’ll shit my pants

 

These flash in the pans are nothing like the real stars

 

Back when entertainment was divine

 

But you kids don’t have to settle

Travel with me back in time

 

Check out Your Show of Show

 

Watch The Twilight Zone

 

Gods like Chuck Berry can last forever

 

If you kids would just get off your lazy asses

 

Teach the kids some real classics

 

Leave it to Beaver’s better than some fake Terminator

 

Please check out the classics with me

 

Please check out some classic TV

 

MUSICAL PESSIMISM

 

I want to sing a song

 

But I really suck

 

I want to be a star

 

But I sound like shit

 

I want to be rich

But I got no cash

 

I want to get the women

 

But I can’t get no ass

 

I want to be a god

 

But I can’t even make rent

 

I don’t want to give up

 

But my life is spent

 

I want to live forever

 

And be the greatest guy

 

But I’m nowhere close

 

I guess I’ll fucking die

WHY BOTHER?

 

The universe will go on

 

Just fine after I die 

 

I’d like to know why

 

I came here at all

 

But that order’s too tall

 

From all I can tell

 

No one knows

 

Sit around watching shows

 

Put on by silly fools

 

Obey bullshit rules

 

All for what

 

You’ll be cut

 

No one makes it in the end

 

The universe isn’t your friend

 

GREAT LYRICS DON’T MAKE UP FOR A SHIT SONG

 

Write the most brilliant lyrics

Touch the souls of humanity

 

Inspirational in every way

 

Odd sounds can ruin it

 

Brilliance drowned out by crap

 

No one wants to hear that

 

Not even for the lyrical rewards

 

What the hell was the artist thinking?

 

Shut the fuck up

 

Be a writer instead

 

You can’t make good music

 

You sick son of a bitch

 

SERIOUS THOUGHT, COMEDIC THOUGHT

MUSIC- There is more music that exists than I’ll ever have time to listen to.  Most music serves as a mere distraction from the worries and important issues of life.

 

It may have been foolish of me to believe that music could “save” me.  It’s hard to find a tune that will maintain biological needs.

The great music of the world should serve as an inspiration to be creative and appreciate life while we can.  The awful music of the world should inspire us to revolt and destroy.

BOOKS- The amount of great books in the world that can influence individuals are nearly endless.  The difficult part about life is determining which authors are focused on the most meaningful words that accurately describe what reality is.

It may have been foolish of me to believe that writing a book would mean something significant to others in a world where billions of people do everything they can to avoid reading.

MOVIES- The amount of great movies is nearly endless, but it seems that anyone who tries to find great movies has to sift through many less than brilliant ones. 

 

It may have been foolish of me to believe that watching movies other people made would ever be able to give me acting, directing, and writing abilities.

COMEDY- The amount of great comedy in a world where everyone is born clueless and is guaranteed to die is limitless.

 

It may have been foolish of me to believe that I could be taught by others how I could be funny.

SEX- Despite billions of ugly people, the amount of great sex that anyone can have is nearly endless. 

It may have been foolish of me to refuse to have sex merely because God was watching me.  Maybe God would’ve been into it.

ART- There are billions of pieces of art that have been created, yet so many individuals hope that their creations will be able to earn them a comfortable living.

 

It may have been foolish of me to believe that anything I created would mean more than a funny Mad magazine cover.

TRAVEL- There are hundreds of countries on Earth and I can only live in one place at a time.  It’s impossible to know which place is best, but everyone can make decisions about where they believe they can live better than anywhere else.

It may have been foolish of me to believe that taking a trip around the world drunk would show me my life purpose.

SCIENCE- Many people strive to make scientific improvements but few succeed.

 

I think the most amazing miracle of science I’ve ever personally witnessed was my frat brothers lighting farts.

ANTI-RELIGION- There are many religions that make quite different claims about truth and none of them are able to offer definite proof that their claims are undeniably true.

 

It may have been foolish of me to assume there was unquestionably a god until I was 22.

PHILOSOPHY- There are more philosophies than one has time to learn about in one lifetime, but no philosophy that can be guaranteed to lead to a better way of life.

 

It may have been foolish of me to spend time reading philosophy instead of getting laid.

 

SPORTS- There are more sports matches taking place every day than anyone has time to watch, but many lazy men do their best to watch whatever sports are on TV.

 It may have been foolish of me to think that anyone would ever care about me kicking balls into a net better than other guys wearing different shirts.

GAMES- There are more games taking place than anyone will ever have time to watch.

 

If people spent as much cash fighting against world hunger as they did on lottery tickets no one would starve.

FOOD- There’s enough food on Earth to sustain billions of humans and numerous animal species, but there may be a famine in any specific place at any given time.

I may have been foolish for trying harder to find out which places served the best chicken wings instead of investing money wisely.

CLOTHING- Billions of people throughout the world have enough clothing to meet their basic survival needs.

I may have been foolish to believe that chicks would dig my “Gone crazy be back later” t-shirt.

SHELTER- There are many different ways to create a home.

 

I may have been foolish to waste money on rent instead of wasting money on a home I’d never be able to pay off.

LIFE- There are many different ways to spend the limited time one has in life.

                                                                                                   

I may have been foolish to waste my life trying to find out the truth in a world where everyone and every source of information appears to be so full of shit.

DEATH- There are many different ways to die but they all provide a similar end result.

 

I may have been foolish to believe I could add anything significant to a world where nearly everything and everyone is forgotten and we all die.

LAST DAY?   If this were my last day, what would I do?   I'd email friends and family.   I'd email a more detailed message to Tess and Drew about what I've written.   I'd call Ma, Drew, and whoever else I could.   I'd have sex with Tess, if she wanted to.   I'd eat some good food.   I'd see whoever else I could.   I'd try to die with a little dignity, but I might end up just wailing like a little bitch.   Get over the myth of Sisyphus and start pushing rocks for a reason.   TRUTH POEM?   The good and the bad   Nobody can has the time   To know even a small portion   About all of the truth   Life is about making   Failed attempts   To do what we want   I didn't discover   The meaning of life    I don't believe   Anyone has    I have to make   The best of the ride   As long as it lasts    TRAVEL HERO
Visit as many places as I can   But never expect to come close   To seeing all that is   And all that could be   ODD THOUGHT   Fortunate people stick around   While absurdities of life pile up   We're left with little more   Than a ridiculous species   WAY TOO MANY SONGS                        So many songs
So many wrongs   I can’t believe it   It’s hard to see it   So many songs are such shit   I can’t believe it’s a hit   It sounds nothing like the best   It fails every musical test   We haven’t evolved   Problems can be solved   Listen to awful tunes   Those talentless goons   The music world has no wits   The music world’s tight assed like Brits   The world isn’t your musical friend   Your life is bad music til the end   BOOKS I COULD LOVE   JOKE’S ON YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE TOO   BORN GRATEFUL FOR VAGINA                                                       ART IN HEARTY BANK ACCOUNT   I BARELY AVOIDED A 6 AM WHORE AND OTHER FUN TRAVEL TALES

PHILOSOPHY IS EVEN LESS USEFUL THAN THEY SAY

MY PHILOSOPHY IS BIGGER THAN YOURS

SCIENCE MAKES RELIGION EAT SHIT   SPORTS AND HOMOEROTIC HILARITY   LIFE IS A GAME WITH STAKES TOO RISKY TO PLAY   YOU’RE GOING TO WEAR THAT PIECE OF CRAP?   HONEY YOU STINK AGAIN   FASHION IS OUT OF FASHION   LIFE IS TO BE LIVED, EXCEPT FOR WHEN YOU HAVE TO WORK AND DO A BUNCH OF PRACTICAL SHIT THAT YOU HATE BUT SHOULD PROBABLY DO IF YOU EVER WANT TO HAVE ENOUGH MATERIAL GOODS TO BE ABLE TO LIVE WELL   LIFE IS THE STRANGEST EXPERIENCE OF ALL   DEATH ISN’T FOR ME

RISK YOUR LIFE AVOIDING DEATH
It’s hard to believe how many people die every day.  It’s enough to make one believe that they’re unable to do anything to help most people out.

 

WONDER WANNA BE

 

I love people

I love children

I have a sweet voice

You better listen

Black men crying

Their babies dying

You know it ain’t right

Brothers have to fight

For a better way of life

Worth all the strife

One day we’ll all be one

Get to play in the sun

Life will be a joy

For every girl and boy

 

NAME DROPPING

 

Getting into a groove with the funk

The doors of the mind open

Who does it?

The beats roll on

I wander to the beach

I heard it was gay

No wonder I loved it

It was really weird

Tenacious sounds

Brown night goes by

AC becomes DC

Sabbath day blues

Experience racks up

52 miles to go

Talking about it

Boingo is madness

Cru is on deck

Cream filled skies

Nirvana at last

 

THERE’S NO WAY TO WIN

 

You can do okay for a while

Take time to smile

You only get so long

Better make it count

Don’t go too wrong

Life takes you out

Full of fear and doubt

Forget about it now

You’re going down

Better do the town

Get out while you can

Live like a man

Do the biggest and best

Forget about the rest

Focus on what’s sweet

Before your defeat

You can’t take anything with

Eternal life is just a myth

Make your peace with it

Afterlife- forget it

 

MANLY QUEEN

 

I like to wear cowboy boots

I wrestle you good

I sing really nice in the shower

I dance swell in the nude

I’m a many man

Manliest man of all

We’ll have a ball

I can hang with the boys

I don’t care for the girls

Unless it’s time for shopping

Or maybe some drinks

Who doesn’t like fu-fu?

I’m all about it girl

You know that’s right honey!

 

MANSON WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND

 

Oh hell I

I don’t, I don’t understand

When I see that something

You want to kill this band

You want to kill this band

You better kill this band

 

NEW SONGS SUCK

 

I can’t even say what the popular songs of today are

I just know they annoy the shit out of me

I can’t tell the difference between any of it

It all sounds lame

Watered down corporate shit

It ain’t like back in my day

We had music with integrity

When I was coming up

The stars were like gods

Backstreet Boys, N Sync, Hanson

Celine Dion, Garth Brooks

Kriss Kross, Right Said Fred, Hammer

Vanilla Ice, Who Let The Dogs Out?

They had something to say

Hmm, maybe in retrospect

My generation was full of idiots too

Maybe music is just meant to be fun

Fuck around for a while

Before you get old

Lame in a more standard way

Work a bunch doing shit you hate

Just to pay a few bills

Instead of listening to moron songs

Might as well, you’re fucked no matter what

But a little less fucked for a while

If you have cash to fuck around with

 

OH LIFE

 

Create something original

While you still can

Hope for a better part of life

While you still can

Believe that you can make a difference

While you still can

You may be wrong

But at least you’ll try

You may not win

But at least you’ll try

You may have to deal with pain

But at least you’ll go down swinging

 

YOUR BAND IS AWFUL

 

It’s easier to listen to The Beatles

Than Father Freaky Fat

People know The Beatles

Not your weirdo band

I can’t believe those freaks

Even had enough of a following

To justify putting out an album

Billions love The Beatles

You hear them on the radio

Father Freaky Fat

What a dumb name

Like they could ever make it

Then again

I guess some bullshit has been big before

But until I hear Father Freaky Fat on radio

Or see them on the MTV

I won’t respect them

Everyone knows

You have to be the best

To make it to radio or TV

 

SOLVE A PROBLEM

 

The answers for many problems

 

Are only found

 

When we have the courage

 

To abandon the need

 

For absolute certainty

 

Before taking actions

 

Figuring out jokes

 

And how to hit

 

The right notes

 

AN AVERAGE SONG

 

The greatest song in the world

 

Is far better than this

 

It might be an okay song

 

It doesn't last too long

 

It won't bore you to death

 

But it isn't the best

 

It's just an average song

 

It will soon be gone

 

You'll remember catchier tunes

 

You'll forget about it soon

 

Too many songs sound almost the same

 

It isn't great it might be a bit lame

 

To be remembered a song must be top class

 

Instead of a throw away that shall pass

 

A FEW MUSICAL TRUTHS

 

The finest musicians sacrifice

To play difficult scales,

Notes, and compositions

To perfection

But we live in an age

Where any fool can push a button

And play those same notes

To perfection

Youths often look foolish

Dancing to the latest radio hits

But the older one gets

They somehow find ways

To look even more foolish

When dancing

It’s nice to know

Even if we don’t achieve

Our individual dreams

There’s still great music

To be enjoyed

By billions of people

 

EASY RIDER TO TRANSFORMERS 2

 

Brilliant movies were once made

 

Symbols of an era

 

Gone forever

 

They had Easy Rider

 

We've got Transformers 2

 

I hate to think what the future will hold

 

For my lame assed generation

 

The people who are gone

 

Can no longer speak

 

The people who are here

 

Don't say much worth hearing

 

Media stunts make us cynical

 

Our time will soon pass

 

Then the next generation will have to top

 

Fucking Transformers 2

BEFORE YOU'RE GONE

 

At least I tried

 

I rarely lied

 

I often sighed

I finally died

 

The world crushed me

 

The girls hushed me

 

The world punished me

 

The girls banished me

My time was short

 

Your time is too

 

Do what counts now

 

Before you have to go

 

MY HEROES ARE DEAD

 

Jimi Hendrix is gone

 

Bill Hicks is gone

 

George Orwell is gone

 

Dali is gone

 

Chris Farley is gone

 

Richard Feynman is gone

 

Even Shaft is gone

 

All of my heroes are dead

 

Perhaps I should pick some live ones

 

Or get off my ass

 

And become a hero to someone else

 

Nah- That's too hard

 

Come on heroes of mine

 

Quit dying on me!

 

YOU'VE GOT YOUR WHOLE LIFE TO AVOID WORK

 

Enjoy the days of your youth

 

You're fucked when you're old no matter what

 

How many joyful working adults do you know?

 

Not fucking many I bet

 

What do they have to look forward to?

 

A boss telling them what to do?

 

A spouse telling them what to do?

 

Parents dying

 

Kids are trying

 

Buddies get old too

 

Gut grows

 

Hair falls out

 

Weight goes up

 

Things stop working

 

Fuck that

 

If you have to go out like that

 

No matter what anyway

 

Might as well enjoy youth

 

Take it for what it's worth

 

Live it up now

 

The future may never arrive

 

The present is the time to live

 

Do it now while you can

 

Tomorrow's guaranteed to no man

 

You can try to plan

 

But the world is messed up

 

Don't take work too seriously

 

You're going to die in the end

 

It makes no sense to suffer

 

Because you aren't good at things you hate

 

Do what you must to get by

 

Live out loud, embrace the night

 

You can live instead of shuffling papers

 

Pull off your own mastermind capers

 

Have some adventures when young

 

If you find a job better run

 

They mostly suck, you don't want that

 

Don't become a corporate stat

 

Don't say yes and get fat

 

Have some passion while you can

 

Lie in the sun and get a tan

 

Find what life means to you

 

Find out what you can do

 

Find out what you can about life

 

Try to avoid stress and strife

 

Life is short and time is passing

 

Don't waste life just amassing

 

More shit that you don't need

 

Live for your own creed

 

Do a few good deeds

 

Have a few good reads

 

You can work later if you must

 

Live a little before you're dust

 

LIFE OPTIONS

 

The choices of life

Are nearly endless

 

Try to make good ones

 

Despite never knowing

 

How they'll turn out

 

Hope you have good times

 

Before you go away

 

Hope you live well

 

Before you see hell

 

Hope you live long

 

Hope you belong

 

Hope you want to try

 

Hope you never die

WEIRD SONG

 

I’m finally going home

 

To see my family again

 

I’ve been working way too hard

 

At the whoopee cushion factory

 

Oh I just can’t wait to see Mom and Dad

 

My brother Drew and my lovely sis Jezebel

 

We’ll sing holiday songs

 

Eat some lovely fixings

 

And then we’ll throw water balloons at rich kids

 

Who think that they’re better than us

 

Home for the holidays

 

My family is so wacky

 

They give me coal stock for presents

 

And then shoot me with my old bb gun

 

AL CHANGED MY LIFE

 

I once had promise

I was good at playing ball

 

I got good grades easily

 

The girls seemed to like me

 

My parents made decent money

 

I had it good

 

But then things took a turn

 

I knew my life was changed

 

I heard that music

 

That Weird Al music

 

I knew I’d never be the same again

 

I started wearing Wacky Hawaiian shirts

Growing a fro

 

Until Weird Al grew his hair out

 

Then I did that too

 

I started hanging with Dr. Demento

 

I started hanging with nerds

 

Instead of silly young girls

 

I thought of Weird Al’s words

 

That lovely poetry

 

Of songs like Fat or Eat It

 

My god it’s so genius

 

I can’t get it out of my head

 

Weird Al is my hero

 

Weird Al is my life

 

Don’t care if they say I’m a zero

 

Don’t care if I can’t have a wife

 

I’d rather be an Al fan

 

One of the many proud

 

I’m an Al fan for life

 

I’m floating on a weird cloud

 

A TRIBUTE TO LIFE AND THE FEW THINGS THAT DON’T COMPLETELY SUCK

 

MUSIC

Music can be good

 

If a song really rock

 

It might make you laugh

 

If the singer shows their ass

 

Tunes might make you think

 

But more likely that you’ll drink

 

Music’s supposed to be a good time

 

Lots of guys feel the need to rhyme

 

But some not at all

 

Like Edward the prick

 

Listen to what you love

 

Heavenly music sent from above

 

Or maybe below

 

The devil tends to jam way better

 

His human team kicks ass

 

But whatever you like

 

Life’s too short to listen to a bunch of shit

 

If you do, you’ll regret it

BOOKS

Read a book from time to time

 

You might learn something new

 

Or be a bit less ignorant

 

Or at least not completely stupid

 

It might not change the world

 

But you can improve your mind

 

Once you can think for yourself

 

You start to realize new truths

 

Just because a book says it’s true

 

Doesn’t make it so

 

Just because a book is popular

 

Doesn’t make it right

 

Just because a book sells well

 

Doesn’t mean it’s written well

 

Books might make you laugh out loud

 

Books might make you check out the town

 

Fill your head with pleasant facts

 

Leave the morons to moron attacks\

MOVIES

You could be productive today

 

You could change the world

 

But you don’t want to do that

 

You want to watch another movie

 

Who could blame you?

 

The world’s pretty fucked up

 

The problems of billions

 

Aren’t likely to be cured

 

If you clock in at the office

 

People will still get sick

 

People will still die

 

So fuck it

 

Let some others work

 

You should watch another movie

COMEDY

 

Life is never ending laughs

 

Once you see how absurd life is

 

You can’t win

 

You can just tie for a while

 

Might as well smile

 

Laugh like a fool

 

You’ll never rule

 

You’re on the way out

 

No need to pout

 

Act a fool while you can

 

Fuck all of your plans

 

Life has bigger ones

 

They don’t include you

 

So have a chuckle

 

If you have luck you’ll

 

Get to laugh quite a lot

 

Before your life stops

SEX

 

I want to fuck her

 

2nd person- I want to fuck her too!

 

3rd person- I too would like to fuck her?

 

All- Well what are we going to do?

 

Why don’t we all fuck her?

 

Why don’t you fuck off?

 

I called her first?

 

She’s not a fucking parking spot.

 

Why don’t we see who she chooses?

 

It’ll have to be me.

 

Like you stand a chance

 

Maybe she’ll dig all three

 

Why don’t you go first?

 

Fuck you, why don’t you?

 

God you’re both pussies

 

Let’s see how you do!

 

Okay, I’m going to ask her out

 

Treat her like a lady

 

Yeah like that will work

 

You won’t even get a maybe

 

At least I’ll have class

 

Yeah, but no ass

 

We’ll just wait and see

 

Shit, when I’m laid you’ll see

 

Good luck to both of you with other women

 

Fuck you cocky prick

 

I hope you get warts on your dick

 

I love you too!

 

END LIKE THAT?

 

You can’t end like that

 

It’s just too tacky

 

You can’t end like that

 

It’s just too wacky

 

You should end with class

 

You don’t end like an ass

 

You should end on a great high

 

You should end before you die

 

PINKO ARTIST

 

You should get a haircut

You should get a job

 

Be like everyone else

 

Who’s a boring snob

 

Quit acting like a hippie

 

You’re a damn adult

 

Try hard to be a yuppie

 

Or failure is your fault

 

Quit claiming you love art

 

When you bum for rent

 

You need to finally start

 

Acting like a gent

 

You ought to be ashamed

 

You aren’t a fucking baby

 

You ruined your family’s good name

 

You’re worthless and way too lazy

 

Stop drinking and watching TV

 

Give something back to society

 

Or keep fucking over hard working folks

 

I hope you stay hungry and broke

LIVE A GOOD LIFE

 

I want to live the good life

 

I want to raise a family

 

I want to be a success

 

I want to be the best

 

I want to destroy my enemies

I want to see them die

I want to watch their eyes ooze blood

 

I want to see them burned alive

 

I want to see them tortured repeatedly

 

I want to see their suffering

 

I want to see their families slaughtered

I want to see their pets cremated

 

I want to see their communities wiped out

I want to see their cities bombed

 

I want to see their nations begging for mercy

 

Only to be crushed like the maggots they are

 

I want everyone I hate to die

 

And burn in hell for eternity

I want to rule the entire universe

 

I want to destroy all of the gods

So I can take their place

And do whatever I want

 

RAP IS CRAP?

 

They say Mozart was a genius

 

I think he was boring

 

Tired of all that fancy old white boy shit

 

It got no style

 

It got no beat

 

It ain’t got shit on rap

 

That’s where it’s at

 

Listen to the words from the streets

 

Not the words from old dead white guys

What the hell did they know?

 

They’re way too old school

 

SOPHISTICATION

 

I could be a great man

 

I could act with class

 

But I hate the great men

 

They kiss lots of ass

 

Suck corporate dick for years

 

Get another degree

 

Trade freedom for cash

 

Full of so many fears

 

Fight to be the best?

 

Why try if you can’t win?

 

Rather be with the rest

 

So I can enjoy my sins

 

Don’t see the point to being number one

 

If you have to act like a bitch

 

Not worth it to lose who you are

 

Might as well be a snitch

 

Oppress the poor and foolish

 

Bomb lots of little brown kids

 

What kind of psycho are you?

 

How can you stand to live?

 

I’d rather be poor than corrupt

 

I’d rather be dead than live like that

 

I’d rather not serve evil masters

 

I’d rather be free and happy

 

LAUGH AT DEATH

 

Hey you

 

You know you’re going to die

 

Maybe not any time in the near future

 

But sure as hell someday

So you might as well take some time

 

To live before you go

 

Don’t waste time doing stupid shit

 

Might as well get used to it

 

You can’t win but you can fight

 

To battle for your very life

 

You should have some fun for a while

 

Fuck the bullshit, have a smile

 

Bound to lose but not to be lame

You can choose to strive for fame

 

Be a star and destroy a scene

 

Be a champ and live a dream

 

It may not last cuz nothing will

 

Laugh a lot before you’re killed

I FORGOT

I’m sorry

 

My memory must be slipping

 

I do apologize

 

I never meant to hurt you

 

I can’t believe I did that

 

I never meant to crash

 

Your car 29 times

 

I never intended

 

To bulldoze your doghouse

 

I didn’t mean to leave your baby

Alone in the middle of the Sahara

 

Boy is my face red

 

I’m truly sorry

I can make amends

 

How about I buy you dinner?

 

We’ll be square then

 

MUSIC- WHAT THE HELL?

 

I was born

 

Things were going okay

 

People looked out for me

 

I had things my way

 

But then I started talking

 

They sent me to stupid schools

 

I had to shape up or ship out

 

I had to obey mindless rules

 

I had to go get a job

 

I had to work instead of play

 

I had to let Big Brother rob

 

I had to sacrifice and pay

 

For the horrible crime of being born

 

I didn’t have a choice

 

I only coped with beer and porn

 

Never listened to advice

 

I realized that we’re all living

 

In mostly fear and awful pains

 

I realized that we’re all dying

 

No matter what our short-term gains

 

BOOKS- IT AIN’T NO BIG DEAL

 

There’s lots a books

 

I can’t read em’ all

 

Just give me the gist of em’

 

So I’ll be richer than yall

 

I ain’t got time to read

 

That’s for yall

 

Just give me what I need

 

So I can get to the mall

 

I got enough to have my truck

 

I got enough to go huntin’ deer

 

I really don’t give a fuck

 

As long as I got my beer

 

Yall nerds can read if ya like

 

I’d rather be making cash

 

All them books can take a hike

 

I’d rather be smokin’ hash

 

I aint’ gonna read shit

 

I’m better off fer it

 

I’ll live while yall read

 

Yall in jail, I’m free

MOVIES- THIS MOVIE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

You better get ready

 

Coming to a theatre near you

 

The greatest movie of all-time

It will change your life

 

You won’t believe it

You’ll have to see it 27 times

 

That might not be enough

 

Trust us, you’re going to love it

 

With all of it’s cool stuff

 

It’s funny, it’s romantic, it’s new, it’s deep

 

It’s awesome, it’s scary, it’s real, it’s cheap

 

Better see Psycho Bitches from Hell 3

 

You won’t believe what you see!

COMEDY- LAUGH AT THE GREAT ONES

Richard Pryor is dead

 

And George Carlin is too

 

But you have a new generation

 

Of comedy heroes

 

That you can worship who are new

 

There’s that one guy

Who make goofy faces

 

And that other guy who dares

 

To point out the differences

 

Between white people and black people

 

There’s that kid who makes sex jokes

 

And the gal who says men are pigs

 

And the guy from that one show

 

And the old guy who hates everyone

 

Don’t say that we don’t have comedy heroes

 

But don’t say that any of them are like

 

Carlin, Pryor, Hicks, Kinison

 

Or whoever your comedy heroes are

SEX- CLUB HIT?

 

I want to fuck

 

I want to fuck you

 

I want to fuck you over there

 

I want to fuck you girl

 

That’s right you

 

The girl at that table over there

 

I want to fuck you

 

You specifically you girl

 

The girl who looks all hot

 

I want to fuck you

 

Erica Jackson

 

The one who lives at 132 Maple Alpine Drive

ART- THIS IS ART?

 

Hey I’m an artist

Don’t give me no shit

 

I can do whatever I want

 

And call it art

 

I can YELL

 

I can whisper

 

I can belch

 

I can YODEL

 

I can let the band go on and on

 

I can recite epic Shakespearean like tragedy

 

I can do a bunch of lame impression

I can make a tasteless joke

I can pause for a smoke

But I don’t smoke

I can eat a piece of pie

I can jump up and down

But you can’t hear that

 

I can end it without you knowing why

TRAVEL- TAKE ME THERE

 

I want to go some place better

I’m tired of this shit hole

 

I grow weary of the grind

 

Why don’t you take me somewhere better?

 

Goddamn this tropical island

Everything is so boring

Nothing here but sunshine and beaches

Take me somewhere interesting

 

I want to see these exotic places

With mini-malls and housing complexes

 

I hear that they’re a blast

 

I want to see a mall and some churches

 

Maybe hang out in corn field or two

 

Listen to country and western music

 

They both would be a joy

 

I want to go to a county fair

 

I’m tired of tropical paradise

SCIENCE CAN’T SAVE

 

Even the best that we’ve got

 

Won’t save your worthless ass

 

My God, I can’t believe you’ve made it this far

 

Science can’t help you

You might as well accept it

 

Someday you’re going to die

 

Oh, maybe you’ll get another 120 years in

But the universe owns your ass

 

You soon will be going down

 

Might as well get used to it

 

As horrible as it sounds

 

Your world will be replaced by new shit

ANTI-RELIGION HYMN

 

There is no God

There never was

 

It should be obvious by now

 

No god cares about you

 

Why are there wars?

Why are you broke?

 

Why all the bores?

Because God’s a joke

 

You can’t win by praying

Watch idiots try

 

On Earth, you won’t be staying

 

Soon you’re going to die

 

PHILOSOPHY- THE GREATEST MINDS

The geniuses of humanity

 

Can serve as inspiration

 

Of all the great thoughts they’ve had

I simply have to wonder

 

What kind of tunes did they like?

 

Was it all of that queer classical?

 

What kind of movies would they watch now?

I bet they’d love Dumb and Dumber

 

Who did they find funny?

 

I bet the guy who pulled his finger

 

How did they get laid?

I bet however they could have

 

What kind of art did they like?

I bet they liked graffiti

 

What kind of food did they eat?

I bet it wasn’t tofu

 

Why did they have to die?

 

I guess they sucked as bad as the rest of us

  

FOOD- IT MIGHT SAVE YOU, IT MIGHT KILL YOU

 

They tell me food saves my life

 

I’m glad that it does

 

I like to eat a lot

 

I love chowing on pizza, burgers, and chips

But wait on a minute Jack says the doc

If you eat all of that

It’s going to kill you

 

But I thought it’s what keeps me alive

It is, but it can also kill you says the doc

 

Oh man, what a crock

 

I want to eat real good all day long

 

I don’t want any vegetables

 

I don’t care if they make me strong

 

Let the rabbits eat the rabbit food

 

I want to eat like a man while I can

 

So what I eat lets me stay alive

 

But it might kill me to deprive

 

So I’ll take my chances and eat like a champ

 

After all, I’m way too old for fat camp

 

CLOTHING IS A SCAM

 

Paying for clothes is absurd

 

You can find free clothes in the alley

 

They’re just as good as paying all that cash

 

You don’t want to look like everyone else anyway

 

Create your own style and laugh about it

 

You don’t have to look like the media says

 

Unless you have some stupid job

 

That says you have to uphold an image

 

Like anything we wear right now

Won’t look ridiculous to future people

What ridiculous arrogance

 

What non-sense demands

 

To get everyone to look alike

 

Outside of a sports team

SHELTER- I want a house

I want it to be nice

I hope it’s pleasant

I hope it’s all right

 

I hope it has a fridge

 

I hope it has TV

 

I hope I get a dream house

 

I hope I live to see it

LIFE- YOU BETTER LIVE BEFORE YOU DIE

So many people working hard

Saving their money, making plans

 

Busting their ass to make the grade

 

Going to school to learn a trade

 

You better do something soon

 

Your time could end any time

 

You better take the time to live

 

While you can before you die

 

Forget about waiting for permission

 

You better live right now

Forget about waiting for the right time

 

If it matters do it now

 

No time for patience

 

No time for bullshit

If it matters do it now

 

You better get right to it

 

There’s no way to do it all

 

Life is full of so much

 

You better do what you can

 

Before life takes it from you

 

Nothing you do will last

 

But you can still kick ass

 

At least for a little while

You might as well smile

 

Sure life is a losing battle

But don’t act like another cattle

 

Fight for what you believe in

 

Before life does you in

 

No time to do anything less

 

Live your life for what seems best

 

REAL LIFE LAUGHS

Dating a girl right after she broke up with Daryl Hall. - That’d be weird to see pictures of the two of them hanging up all over the place

 

Using "I'm a puppet" as an explanation!

 

Watching people schmooze to try to get ahead in a scene.

 

Watching people brag about doing free shows

Calling out Chaz about wanting to have sex for a whole day- "I think that would get rather tiresome and probably quite painful.Discussing organic chemistry as if I have any idea what the fuck I'm talking about.  Oh yes- compounds and chemicals and what not.

 

Me falling asleep on the couch while drinking gin.

 

Failing to live up to the high expectations of family members who wanted me to be a mouthpiece for god.  Talk about unrealistic expectations!

 

OH WOW THOUGHTS!

 

There’s no way to know if one is doing better than global competition in the arts, but there are plenty of ways to effectively measure sales records. 

 

Artistic success may not be the same thing as financial success, but the artists who are most well-known in the world today tend to also be the ones who are quite financially successful. 

 

Too many people forget their ideals when they get old enough to die naturally.  Perhaps this should be an indicator that death is a bigger deal to most of humanity than doing what we supposedly believe in most.

 

There are far too many people fighting for limited resources, opportunities, and parking spaces.

 

You are alive in a time when billions of humans are capable of maintaining survival, which means there’s even competition for resources as trivial as a t-ball trophy.

 

Terrible people can still win, because they have more focus and determination than people who are supposedly good, but weak.

 

UNIQUE IDEAS

 

MUSIC- It would be unique to have a jam session with 10,000 Carlos Santana fans in the loop.

BOOKS- It would be unique to be on a book tour with Hitchens, Ralph Reed, and Carrot Top.

MOVIES- It would be unique to be in a film with the relatives of Clark Gable, Carey Grant, Humphrey Bogart, George Lucas, Spielberg, etc.

COMEDY- It would be unique to perform with Lewis Black, a few radical Black Panthers, a Girl Scout troop, and a few Vegas magicians.

SEX- It would be unique to film a presidential porn shoot with women from every country

 

ART- It would be unique to produce art from each state that fits into a map of the USA

TRAVEL- It would be unique to travel in a submarine across the Bahamas just to hit up a booze party on every major island

SCIENCE- It would be unique to assemble some of the greatest minds to play Scrabble

ANTI-RELIGION- It would be unique to see how differently a religious debate is conducted in Saudi Arabia, The United States, North Korea, Sweden, and Brazil

 

PHILOSOPHY- It would be unique to pose difficult philosophical questions to either kids or uneducated folks who would have no idea what was being discussed

 

SPORTS- It would be unique to have professional teams combat in a sport that was different than what they usually play

GAMES- It would be unique to have a celebrity bingo game

FOOD- It would be unique to have an all you can eat challenge with my closest Chicago friends

CLOTHING- It would be unique to assemble 100 people to dress in period costumes and walk around for an hour in the same place and see confused reactions and get odd questions

SHELTER- It would be unique to build a house out of Jell-O

LIFE- It would be unique to live for one year on every continent.

DEATH- It would be unique to die in outer space.

 

MY DEATH

 

Mike Nesteruk is finally dead

God, he didn’t do shit

 

Hurry up and get rid of him

 

Let a shark tear him apart

 

Eat his flesh so we can forget

 

His life and body smell like fart

 

If it were real he’d be in hell

 

But there’s no proof that it is, oh well

 

Leave this stinking corpse and go live

  

SONG IN STYLE OF SHAFT

 

Who’s that lanky white boy who scares no one?

Mike

 

He’s a damn bitch.

 

Who is that wuss who lived at home til he was 25?

 

Mike

 

He’s a piece of shit.

 

Who is that punk who went broke in his thirties?

 

Mike

 

He’s so pathetic

 

Who was dismissed from a non-paying intern gig by a guy he barely knew via email?

 

Mike

 

What a loser.

 

Who is the man who never did a thing to help out anyone?

 

Mike

 

What a selfish prick.

 

They say this guy Mike is a completely worthless

 

Oh yeah.

 

I’m talking about a guy you never heard of

 

And that’s probably a good thing.

 

This fool Mike spent years doing nothing

 

Now it’s biting him in the ass

 

What an idiot.

 

If you see him kick him the shins

 

All right

 

Or maybe a nice smack to the head Koleno style

 

I will

 

Fuck it, he might not even be worth the energy

 

Good point

 

Maybe just let him die

 

Sounds good

Fuck you Mike

 

Fuck you Mike

 

TEN D

 

We are completely over the top

Just to sell some stupid songs

 

We’re both fat and old

 

But our world is so bereft of good entertainment

 

You may actually find us interesting

 

I’ll reference an aging rocker

 

I’ll say that they were a god

 

But now it’s time for them to hand over a non-existent rock crown

 

Over to us

 

Even though we’re not that great

 

We’ll make a reference to hell

 

You’ll think we’re rebellious

Even though Warner Brothers backed us

 

To the tune of millions

 

We have no social significance

Just some silly bragging tunes

 

Not even funny if we were 14

 

But 44 even worse

 

But we’ll take your money

 

Thank you very much

 

You can go to hell now

 

Or back to your Mom’s basement

 

We’ll go to Malibu

 

Get high and eat buffets

 

Laugh on The Tonight Show

 

And celebrate American stupidity

 

The mindless fans of rock

 

Thanks again

 

NIRVANA NEVER

 

I’m so alienated

And so are you

Maybe we can be alienated together

 

And we’ll alienate with a few

 

We’ll alienate the rich kids

We’ll alienate the jocks

 

We’ll alienate the teachers

We’ll alienate the cops

 

Then we’ll make some alienated friends

 

Get them to speak out

 

Then we’ll sell out Madison Square Garden

With our alienated flock

 

We’ll be alienated on MTV

 

We’ll alienate for cash

 

We’ll alienate from liberty

 

Then we’ll all be alienated at last

A CDC

 

We’ve only got one song

 

Done 278 different ways

 

All of our fans know it

 

Hell, even a kid would

 

But we made this one song real good

Rocking forever so we don’t have to change it

 

Trashy blues rock is best

 

Listen to our singer squeal

 

The drum beat is rather consistent

 

And I think there’s some bass in there somewhere

We have a formula for success

We won’t deviate even a little

 

We know what we are

 

A rock band with rocking guitar

 

Maybe we’ll dress like schoolgirls

 

That would mean a lot

 

Maybe we’ll have a member die

 

We’ll replace him with a robot

 

Who looks and acts just the same

 

Quite predictable but never lame

 

We’ve conquered the rock game

 

All rock fans and songs should be the same

 

LACK SABBATH

 

Satan isn’t so bad

 

He may have helped us with our band

We’ve made millions of dollars

 

Because people think we worship him

 

We really don’t

 

But he’s nice enough to leave us alone

 

He hasn’t even taken one penny

 

If Satan supports us

 

It’s a mystery to us

 

He hasn’t even joined our fan club

 

But we love his fans

 

They pretend to be dangerous rebels

 

But they usually just drink and pay 100 bucks a ticket

 

To hear our loud rock music from decades ago

 

Hey, whatever works

 

Whether it be ripping off people with Jesus or Satan

 

If you want to give up your cash

To get a little Satanic thrill

 

Be our guest

 

If being on Satan’s team on Earth gets tips like this

 

Sign me up for eternal hell

WORLD MUSIC

 

Believe it or not, other countries make music too

 

It isn’t just the U.S. and England

 

There’s great music all over the world

In fact, nearly all of it is better than the Billboard charts shit

 

But you’ll never hear it

 

If you don’t bother to listen to others not on radio

 

Give it a shot

 

It’s a big planet

 

Maybe the Chinese have a few good musicians

 

Out of more than a billion

 

Perhaps India has something to say

 

They’re over a billion now too

 

The Middle East has some great grooves

 

Don’t count out the soulful tunes of Africa

 

Hey South America might be fun too

 

Europe is bigger than the UK

 

Check out shit from Macedonia

 

They Aussies rock out all the time

 

Even without ACDC

 

Hell, even Antarctica might be worth a look

 

Bob Marley is cool

 

But he ain’t the beginning and end of world music

 

Give some other nations a listen

You might be amazed

 

STEVE I WONDER

 

Summer’s off

 

Falling in love with my beautiful baby

 

Life is just a joyful treasure

 

Now’s the time to have some pleasure

The gifts of life are never ending

 

The truths of life are done pretending

 

Life doesn’t have to be a struggle

 

Life should be an endless wonder

 

Taking it easy on my day off

 

Hanging out with my lovely baby

 

I will make today a treasure

 

I will make sure to have some pleasure

 

The good times of mine are never ending

 

With the non-sense of life I’m done pretending

 

My life is no longer a pointless struggle

 

Life has become an endless wonder

 

BEACH TOYS

 

The universe is big

 

I’m so small

 

Adrift in the sea

 

Going where the wind blows

 

The wave will swallow me

 

Take me down under

 

Become one with the water

 

While it takes me away

 

4 DOORS

 

Madness sets in the midnight hour

 

The power of words evokes my mind

 

Tranquility escapes me again

 

Acting as a channel for the universe

 

Corners of my mind bend and shake

The strangest trip of all

 

Contained within the mind

 

Nothing can settle me now

I have to rock right now

 

Let the music simply take over

 

Lose control while making life happen

 

Into another place in space

 

Forgetting the troubled past

 

Ready to move forward

 

By living in the now

 

EATLES

Counterpunch with the Beach Boys

We can do better than that

 

Listen for inspiration

A change to be the best

 

A chance to do what’s never been done

 

Through an interwoven pop album

 

Check out all the psychedelic celebrities

 

We’ll have the fans at our feet

 

Nothing could be better

 

Than the products of our minds

 

Let it flow with joy and focus

 

Creating the magic of life

 

Inspire the youths of today

 

And tomorrow as it happens

 

It really didn’t know in the end

 

Two of us still left

 

Hope the joy crusades

 

In humanity for eternity

SIGH MON AND BAR FUNKIN

 

I’m going to go home

 

It’s been a long time

 

I have hope in my heart

 

I see Ma in my mind

 

Maybe lil’ sis will be around

 

Brother Drew and I will hit the town

 

Not a thing changed since I left

 

Same old folks doing the same

 

Kids playing in the yards

 

People cruising for a good time

 

Summer nights and BBQ’s

 

Swimming pools and little league

 

Middle American paradise

 

Full of alcoholics and Christians

 

Full of cornfields and county fairs

 

Man it takes me back

 

Glad to get back once in a while

 

I really should make time once in a while

 

ODDLY CRUDE 

WILD SOBER DAYS

Partying was a lot of fun

 

But we’re older now

 

That shit could actually kill us

 

That shit would actually kill us

 

Time to stay sober

 

But still time to rock

 

Time to grow up a little

But still time to rock

 

We aren’t saying kids shouldn’t

 

But older guys should quit

 

They look ridiculous doing that shit

 

Maybe time to settle down

 

You don’t have to be boring

 

But you aren’t 16

 

Maybe find a hobby

 

You don’t have to be like Ozzy

 

Living like him would kill most

 

Lucky your still around

 

Enjoy your new pace of life

 

While you’re still above ground

 

RINCE

 

Funky feeling about you girl

 

You look at me the same

 

You turn my on like lightbulbs

 

I want more than that

 

I want you forever

 

We’ll rock the world tonight

 

We’ll keep going for life

 

We’ll burn amber bright

 

I love everything about you

 

You’re the one for me

 

I want to see into your soul

 

Only you can make me whole

 

We’ll never be apart

 

We can be the greatest lovers

 

We have to right now

 

I want you forever

 

We’ll rock the world tonight

 

We’ll keep going for life

 

We’ll burn amber bright

 

WEIRD AL FAN

 

I was cruising on my segway in the middle of Mars

When I had thoughts of hacky sacks and candy bars

 

The biggest thing ever since sliced bread

 

Only existed then inside my head

 

Oh my lanta I have to write this down

 

This could save humanity or at least my town

 

The greatest idea that a human’s ever had

 

Nothing about it could be considered bad

 

Oh how rich I will be

 

Oh if only my parents could still see

 

I will be a hero for eternity

 

I will live forever oh so pleasantly

 

My new idea will save billions

 

My new idea will make all millions

 

No more pain and no more death

 

Things are going to be all right now

 

Nobody has to worry ever again

 

My idea will bring heaven on Earth

 

And anywhere else we want to go

 

But oh no!

 

I don’t have a pen or paper

 

I hope I remember my idea later

 

THE WHOM

 

You are a sinner

 

You’re terribly wicked

 

You should be repenting

 

You’re awfully evil

 

Where is your shame?

Why are you immoral?

 

You deserve eternal hell

 

You’ll burn forever

 

You aren’t forgiven

 

You wicked sinner

 

You aren’t forgiven

 

You evil pagan

 

You aren’t forgiven

 

Someday you’ll fry

 

THE HEMPTATIONS

 

I want to see a better world

 

But I’m troubled by what I see

 

I can’t deal with all the pain

 

Hard to see in the world today

 

I want to have a peaceful world

That gives a beautiful life

 

But I see so many struggling

 

Makes me wonder why

 

Things don’t have to be so bad

 

But we’ve given up hope

 

I feel for the ones who live with pain

 

But I can’t cure everyone

 

I’m no messiah

 

I’m not even a doctor

 

But I want to help a few

 

Before I end up just like them

 

THE O KAYS

 

Help me out brother

 

We can make things better

 

We don’t have to pray

 

We can work together

 

To do something for ourselves

 

Through the troubles

Through the pain

 

We’ve got each other

 

To make it through the strain

 

We can make life better

 

It’ll be all right

 

Forget about the whining

 

Let’s work to evolve today

 

TALKING DEADS

I see a man across the room

 

He’s looking at me strangely

 

I don’t know what to make of it

 

Maybe he wants some change

 

Maybe he’s selling papers

 

Perhaps he’s a crazy train

 

Why did I ride the subway?

 

I could’ve taken the bus

Don’t know if that’d be better

 

This guy is still looking at me

 

Maybe I look like a friend

 

Maybe I look like his barber

 

I guess I could talk to the guy

 

But that would be too easy

 

I’d rather guess about him

 

If he comes and talks to me

I’ll have to say something

 

I guess I’ll start with hey

 

And improvise from there

 

Sure that settles it

 

Wait he’s looking at another guy

 

I guess he wasn’t that into me

SEE-52’S

 

Earth is a strange place

 

But not as strange as space

 

I just want to know my place

 

On Earth or outer space

 

I look to the skies for answers

 

But they don’t have none

 

I look to the ground for clues

 

But they don’t have none

 

I don’t know where else to look

 

I can’t walk to outer space

 

I can’t swim the entire ocean

 

But I have to have a place

 

I can’t be adrift in space

 

I asked for some kind of sign

 

But all I saw was stop

 

And a little bit of yield

 

But I can’t stop

 

And don’t want to yield

 

I want to go

 

I want to grow

 

I want to live

 

I want to give

 

Please just tell

 

Where I’m supposed to be

 

Then I’ll be happy

 

And live with joy

 

Just like a boy

 

In the strange place

 

Of Earth and space

 

BOINGO OINGO

 

I’m such a weirdo

I don’t really care

 

I just want to laugh at life

 

I have to be this way

 

I want to leave my home

 

I want to see the world

 

Maybe there’s people like me

 

In another place and time

 

But maybe not

 

I might be all alone

 

I want to hang with other weirdos

They really make me laugh

 

I think they’re out there somewhere

 

But not in my mundane town

 

I have to set out on my own

 

They’re in the cities

 

Unless movies and TV lie

 

The numbers are in my favor

 

Too many people to be normal

 

I think cities would make most crazy

 

So that’s where I’ll go

 

To find my weirdo tribe

CREAMY

 

Getting free

 

Never die

I want to fly

And see in God’s eyes

 

I know I can

Take control

 

The story’s flowing

 

I’m growing bold

 

I see the golden light

 

I see it shines for me

 

Embrace the blissful feeling

That lives inside me

 

I feel the Earth

 

Rock and roll

 

I want to rock

 

Along with it

 

I feel nothing but love

 

Ecstasy from above

 

And some from below

Nothing can top this

 

Best I’ve ever felt

 

Limbic system in overdrive

 

The wonders of this life

 

I know I’ll love this moment

 

As long as I embrace sunshine

 

The time of life is now

 

No need to look back

 

Visions of unbridled beauty

 

Will be with me forever

 

MARVIN GREAT

 

Overcome the struggle

 

Do all that you can

 

You might lost the battle

 

But you have to give it your all

 

Heroes are willing to fight

For what they believe is right

 

Life is too important to dismiss

 

You have to stand for right

 

No time left to waste

 

There’s too much violence

 

Power hungry madmen

 

Kill too many poor

 

If we’ve really evolved

 

Why’s there still war?

 

Grow into something better

 

Before your time runs out

 

Natural to have doubt

 

There’s some scary stuff

 

But visions of what could be

 

Should inspire you and me

 

We can create a better world

 

But it ain’t gonna be easy

 

Get ready to do what counts

 

The trouble mounts

 

What will you do?

 

Before you’re through?

 

HENDRIX HERO

 

Playing my heart on my guitar

 

Makes me feel real good

 

I know that I’m a guitar god

 

I can feel it in my mood

 

I have business to tend to

 

I know I’m all around

 

The main thing is to be a hero

 

Nobody can touch me at all

 

The rocking never stops

I have to kick ass

The tangent is never over

 

Being your mind

 

The reasons are all excited

 

There are thieves of the night

 

Life is just a joke

The people who know

 

We have a fate to face

It might not be amazing

 

Better live while you can

 

Because you can’t stay amazing

 

Life is to be lived son

 

Make it count right now

 

You’ll live in regret if you don’t

 

Try to make a mark somehow

 

The passion of life is stirring

The greats speak through songs

 

The only way to live out loud

 

For the ones who bow down

The greats teach much to those who listen

 

You have to open your mind

Ignore all the bullshit

 

And focus with your time

 

The wind was howling with laughter

 

You never really know why

 

Time to stand-up and be great

 

Live out loud while you can

 

To beat the winds of time

 

LOUD ZEPPELIN

 

You leave me

 

You leave me yet again

I got less than nothing

 

You took off with what little we got again

 

I don’t get you baby

 

I try and try and try

 

I never get anywhere without you

 

I have to wonder why

 

But then you up and leave me

 

Leave me with even less

 

It’s all just a guess

 

I still think you’re the best

 

But you rip my heart straight out

 

I’m left full of doubt

 

You tear me apart inside

 

Left me again just to die

 

PINKY FLOYD

 

Tripping on a cloud

 

In the bright blue sky

 

Not a care in the world

 

No reason why

 

Living is so easy

 

Trying is too hard

 

Thinking about tomorrow

 

Never know what goes by

 

Men are sometimes baffling

 

They don’t always know why

 

The difference in the ways

 

Is enough to count for then

 

Vague ideas of the mind

Plague my troubled species

 

Staring at the walls

 

While hoping to conquer Earth

 

JAMES BROWNIE

 

YEOW!

 

Feel funky funk yall

 

Funk is the best

 

Funk will heal all wounds

 

Funk is the best

 

Funk redeems you

 

Funk will lift

 

Funk makes dreams for you

 

Funk solves rifts

Funk it up

 

While you still can

 

Funk it up

 

Like a good man

 

Funk for ladies

 

No discrimination

 

Funk for babies

 

Across the nation

 

Funk for people

 

Is just right

Funk for aliens

 

Funk in flight

 

Funk it up

 

Funk forever

 

Funk through life

 

Funk is heaven

 

CURTIS MAY FIELD QUESTIONS

 

Super pimp

 

You are the man

 

You don’t take no lip

 

You are a hero to all the manly men

Who beat up their bitches

 

Hard to get why all men ain’t pimps

 

The money is oh so good

The hours could be improved

 

But it’s all part of being the best

 

Got to get the rest

 

That hoe’s money is yours

 

You don’t bust some ass

 

You gonna be real poor

 

Pimp that bitch like Microsoft

 

See that shit everywhere

 

Anyone who ain’t a pimp

 

Ain’t nothing at all in this world

 

Pimp until the day the man caps you

 

Pimp all night and day

 

Pimp unless the man takes you

 

Pimpin’ is the only way

 

To the pimp gods I pray

 

Motherfuckin’ amen

 

SOUL VOCAL GROUP

It’s so pretty

 

I’m feeling good

 

Life is so wonderful

 

In my neighborhood

Embrace the day

 

It’s so sweet

 

Grab your best girl

 

Time to eat

 

The fruits of pleasure

 

Wine is flowing

 

Life is a treasure

 

The sky is glowing

 

Life can be so grand

 

You have to take a stand

 

Make your own life bliss

 

A never ending wish

 

Hendrix Risked

 

There must be a life worth living

 

I want to find it before death

 

I have to scream and cry out

 

In the world while I can

 

Nothing could stop me

 

Except for awful dying

 

I have to keep on trying

 

Before I get to dying

 

Death is a thief

 

It robs us all

 

Death is a grief

 

Takes away yall

 

Beach Ways

 

I’m a pebble in the sand

 

Being kicked by the wind

 

Going nowhere special

 

Just around for a bit

 

I’ll be swallowed by the sea

 

Tossed around by waves

 

Don’t know where I’m going

 

But no pebbles do

 

Weird Alien

 

I was brushing my teeth on Mars

When I got an idea for cars

 

I thought that maybe I should leave right then

 

But I wanted more oxygen

 

I had to struggle to go back in time

 

I had a new car on my mind

 

I’ve been waiting far too long

 

If I can afford to brush my teeth on Mars

 

I should afford myself a brand new car

 

I could drive a Lexus and be happy

 

Or maybe a limousine

 

I can’t wait to get back to Earth

 

I’ll drive whatever I want

 

I’m so lucky I just can’t wait

 

To get back from this Mars space race

 

Yeah!

 

They Might Beat Giants

 

Give me a drink

 

I don’t want to think

 

I want to suck down

Some liquid

 

I need a drink right now

 

I’ll drink anything I can

 

I’ll drink a drink from Japan

 

I’ll drink a drink with a man

 

I’ll drink a drink from a can

 

I need a drink right now

 

Drinking makes me happy

 

Drinking makes me sappy

 

Drinking makes me silly

 

Drinking makes me hillbilly

 

I want a drink right now

 

Drink with me

Drink for free

 

Drink it up

 

Drink my cup

 

I want a drink right now

 

B-25’s

 

I watched some videos

 

They call it YouTube

 

I really like it

 

It’s funny stuff

 

Raps from Transformers

 

Amazing soccer goals

Clips of TV shows

 

It’s got it all

 

Songs from across the galaxy

 

Movies from the 80’s

 

Stupid clips of famous folks

 

Crazy pets doing tricks

 

People are just wacky

 

Make no sense at all

 

I think I’ll watch them on YouTube

 

And have myself a ball

 

Boing go

 

Use your brain

 

It helps out

 

Life sucks less

 

When you think

 

Brains are good

 

Have good thoughts

 

Love your mind

 

It’s super

 

Brains for you

 

They kick ass

 

Brains can help

 

You live in an intelligent manner that brings consistent benefits to a rewarding, productive, and pleasurable lifestyle

 

Mocking Heads

 

Going out

 

It can be quite a thrill

 

I want to go and have some fun

 

I feel great

 

Taking off into the night

 

I bet a good time will go down

 

Come on

 

Come join me going out

 

Come on

 

We’ll dance drink and shout

 

Creamed

 

In the Earth

There are wicked fools

 

They make the rules

 

That lord over us

 

We must fight back

 

We must resign

 

Comforts over freedom

 

Unless we’ll die

 

There’s nothing to say

 

We have to act

 

Trouble is upon us

 

Time to attack

 

Gaye For Marvin

 

The world’s full or problems

 

The world’ full of pain

 

How can we escape it?

 

Sunny days turned to rain

 

We all need help brother

 

We need to be strong

 

I don’t know how to get

 

All yall to get along

 

Trouble tends to find us

 

And we all have die

 

It’s no wonder so many crazies

 

For a little money they lie

 

Trouble in front of us

 

Trouble always behind

 

Got to find something good

 

Before we all die

Stevie Wonderful

 

My lovely lady

 

You are looking real fine

My lovely lady

 

We should sip some fine wine

 

My lovely lady

 

We should dance until they dawn

 

My lovely lady

 

I’ll love you til the day I’m gone

 

We will take a trip to

 

The exotic place that you love

 

We will have some joys in

 

A pleasant view from above

 

My love will never end

 

My joy will always be here

 

My love I will send

 

A lovely song for you to hear

 

Motown again

 

I love you baby

 

I think you love me

 

I love the life we have

 

I love the times we have

 

Let’s keep on loving

Loving all the time

 

Loving’s the best idea

 

That we’ve ever had

 

Love me forever

 

You know I’ll love you

 

Love stands the test of time

 

Love will take us through

 

Love is the greatest feeling

 

Greatest feeling of all

 

Love is the mighty force

 

Love means all

 

The Jays

 

I love you in the morning

When you wake up so gently

 

I’ll caress you

 

I’ll whisper into your ears

I’ll massage you into the morning light

 

Wake up my beautiful lady

 

The day waits for you

 

Spread your sunshine to the world

 

Give the day a gift

 

A-Funk

 

Funky days are upon us

 

Funk from above

 

The holiest funk around

 

Commands you to get down

 

Move, groove, shake that ass

 

Shake whatever body parts you can

 

Shake until you’re an old man

 

Time to get down

 

Time to get funky

Time to move round

 

Time for living funky

 

Jams Brown

 

Get to the beat

 

Get to the heat

 

Feel it in your soul

 

Feel the rhythms roll

 

The beat lives inside you

 

The beat is oh so sweet

 

Music is the gift of life

 

Makes everything all right

 

A Green

 

Hey there girl

 

Been thinking about you

 

Missed you so much

 

You’re the reason I live

 

I just want to be with you

 

As long as we can

 

I’ll give it all for you

 

We can make life grand

 

Set Pistols

 

Don’t look at me

 

I don’t need your bullshit

 

Don’t give a damn

 

I think you’re a wanker

 

Go to your fancy school

 

Go to your fancy house

 

I hate all of your kind

 

You think you’re better than us

 

Rules are all non-sense

 

Live how you want

 

Go to hell to the system

 

Go to hell with you all

Clashed

 

I don’t get this big world

I don’t get it at all

I don’t know why we’re all here

 

It makes no sense at all

 

I’ll go out into the world

I’ll do what I can

 

But I’ve failed to get it

 

I just don’t know why we’re here

 

Maybe no one does

 

Maybe it doesn’t matter

 

Life is going to get to me

 

As long as I stick around

 

Beat less

 

Float the circles of your mind

 

The answers are waiting for you

 

The life can be divine

 

If you circle within your mind

 

Give the world a better way

 

Don’t let life pass you by

 

Unlock the powers of mind

 

Watch the world start to shine

Leud Zeppelin

 

March to the beat of the rock n’ roll

 

Where loonies cry and big men go

 

I will be a god

 

I will win

I will spin

 

I’ll go and take over

 

All we want

All we are

 

We will become if we push through

 

Yeah!

 

Buddy Young Guy

 

Stuck in this town

 

It’s not looking good

Got nowhere to go

 

Nothing to see

 

Just trying to get some bread

 

So I can get out

 

But I got my doubts

 

Might be here again

 

Moyel Crue

 

I did a lot of drugs

 

I did a lot of rock

I kicked a lot of ass

 

I took over whole towns

 

But now I have to settle down

 

Unless I can still rock

 

Forget about settling down

 

I’d rather die rocking

 

The world is going to love

 

My awesome leather pants

 

Who doesn’t love

 

The way I sneer and shout

 

I’m so awesome

I’m so all-time great

 

I will crush the pretenders

And rock for all my life

Black Saab bath

 

Leaving town, not coming back

 

All I got is my backpack

 

Going away, going for good

 

Have to fight to live in this world

 

Walking through the dark of night

 

Heard a sound in awful fright

 

Saw a flash of light that passed

 

Got sick of wandering at last

Near vana

 

I don’t like the way things are

 

I don’t like stupid guitars

 

I hate everything I see

 

I don’t want this world to be

 

Stupid world stupid games

 

Stupid life stupid hate

 

I don’t want to live like this

 

I don’t want to miss

 

Tenacious Defensive Actions

 

Rock is the king of all

Bow down before you lord

 

Nothing is so powerful

 

As the sound of rock and roll

 

It will crush your puny gods

 

It will destroy your silly cash

 

It will laugh at your powerful leaders

 

It will kick the army’s ass

 

Rock is the mother of all

And the father of all too

 

Rock is the only thing that makes life worth living

Rock is the greatest gift to all

 

Rock forever

Rock can never die

 

Rock will outlast the cockroaches

 

And all of space and time

 

ROCK, ROCK, ROCK

 

Prints

 

I don’t know if I’m a dude or a chick

 

I look a little like both

 

I like to sing like a chick

 

But my speaking voice is deep

 

I confuse even my relatives

 

But people find me sexy

 

Doesn’t matter that I’m short

 

Doesn’t matter that I’m weird

 

Doesn’t matter that I’m getting older

 

People still find my super-sexy

 

They should build me a museum

 

I am the greatest of all-time

 

I’m the only king and queen of music

 

My royal legacy lives on for eternity

 

In the name of the blessed one

 

Superfunkybadassedlovaamen!

Jackson Numbers

 

I look into your eyes

 

I want you to take me back

 

Call me at home and tell me so

 

I want you to make me right

I want you to hold me tight

 

Call me up and take me back

 

I love the thought of us again

 

We’ll be so happy and then

We’ll get married and have some kids

 

Loving you

 

Is best for sure

 

Call me up

 

And ask me so

 

Courtesy Mayfield

 

Brother down the block

He’s selling that rock

 

Trying to get ahead

 

But might end up dead

 

Fearing for his life

 

Might have to use his knife

 

To get a bit more cash

 

His life has become trash

 

So sad to see a brother down

 

Many brothers like him in town

 

Why is the man still around

 

Let’s get to keeping him down

 

One more brother dying trying

 

No more brothers lying and crying

 

Let’s stand up and fight back

 

The man better watch his back

Isaac Haze

 

Who’s the white trash hick who’s ignored by all the chicks?

 

Mike

 

He’s damn right

 

Who is the man that would risk his neck for no other man?

 

Mike

 

What a bitch

 

The Who dunnit

 

I went into town

I bought a few pints of whisky

 

I sucked them down

 

And went back to my hotel room

 

I blew the shit out of everything I saw

 

I crashed a limo in the pool

 

I partied into the night yet again

 

I heard the hotel will ban us for life

 

I’d like to see them try to ban

 

The friends of our lunatic drummer

 

I must admit, perhaps we went too far

 

But who cares when we play this good

 

We should destroy what we want

 

Nobody cares if rock stars are dicks

 

We can do whatever we want

 

The Poors

 

You are going to die

 

Nobody really knows why

Why we’re here at all

 

Your life is passing to a crawl

 

Life is nothing but a flash

 

Universe tosses out our ash

 

We all have to pay the price

 

The harsh demands of life

 

 

LIST OF SONG TITLES                          

 

Kiss me, I hate the Irish

 

Fuck your band

 

Yet another goddamn love song

 

I love you more than disco

 

I never abused drugs, I used them

 

Portable crapper

 

Quit all jobs

 

Quoth the ravin’

 

Dr. Dre is really keen

 

Fool me three times, I’m a real fool

 

I came, I saw, I farted

 

Heaven must be missing an average looking woman

 

I love you way too much to marry you

 

Lazy roommate awards

 

Dance with death, refuse the after party

 

Fortune 500 janitors

 

Vague song

 

Only fools still write songs

 

Not even half-assed song

 

Pardon me while I take a shit

 

Polite people are a different version of asshole

 

Number one songs somehow suck

 

Internment summer camp sucks

 

Guilt free lard

 

How can you tell new age songs apart?

 

Feel my largest organ (My skin babe)

 

You can’t fuck everyone

 

Kiss me if your parents approve

 

Aimless CEO’s

 

Pre-school dropouts

 

Drinking with Bin Laden

 

Nudity is only sometimes a crime

 

How to lose friends and influence no one

 

Filibuster radio

I’m addicted to myself

Curious George learns awful truth

 

Tony Danza sings William Shatner

 

Terrible, shameful, awful music

You put the cunt in country music

I wish my dick was as big as your heart

Life touched me in weird places

The most boring game

 

My fashion is weekend sports casual

I write the wrongs

 

Mull over my mullet

 

Deep fried Southern mullet

 

Mullet brigade is loose

 

How did we invent the mullet?

 

Billionaires don’t wear mullets

 

Loose lips sunk my battleship

 

Fuck you pretty boy

 

Being the universe’s test subject

Hell isn’t needed to scare people in Tijuana

Creationists need to evolve

 

If God helps you, why do you suck?

 

Jesus: Friend or slave master?

 

Faith in money over God

 

Open your mind to my cult

My god has the biggest dick

People better than Jesus

God thinks you suck

God needs cash

God’s so funny he kills me

 

KIND OF FUNNY

 

I’m tired of faking for you

 

Ask my lawyer bitch

 

I’m glad you’re dying

 

Awful things we said

 

Bear down coach?

 

Bad athletic advice

 

Phony numbers from chicks

 

Bad business ideas

 

Every job is temporary

 

You have no permanent address (You’re going to die)

Poetic injustice

 

I think you’re repulsive

 

Too many birds nowadays

 

Tired of the same old shit

 

Kiss my broke ass

 

Shop til U quit mindless consumerism

 

Half-off coupon experience

 

Treat your baby better than your outhouse

 

No call, no show, no dough

 

That’s my pet bird bitch!

 

You’re wrong again

 

Dumb fuck all stars

 

The pen is mightier than some crayons

 

Illegal fireworks display

 

Riot cancelled, let’s obey

 

Mind controlling music

 

This song makes me superior

Forget you’re broke         

 

Listen to jet take off

 

We can do better than country

 

Fuck Billy Ray

 

Loudmouth mimes

 

Opinionated Losers

 

Hiding from lawyers

 

No fizzy cola

 

Luxury Sedan asshole

 

Suck enough wiener yet?

 

Soap opera quality

 

Tighten my tattered belt around your fat ass

 

Huge tits and chances

 

All I want is the universe

 

I hate when perverts sing be my baby

 

Can’t accept this contract universe

 

Indian chief executive

 

The feeling is mutual

 

Nursing home rebel

 

Flunked another test

 

Why’d I bother with High School?

 

Bless the atheists

 

Coat hangers are bad doctors

 

Devil in Preacher’s clothes

 

Everyone’s obsessed with food

 

Guilt is for assholes

 

Loud, lewd, proud, nude

 

Nag me later

 

Ugly truths about pretty gals

 

Violent Amish

 

Wheat germ germs

 

Kill all mikes

 

Loan shark junkees

 

Dishwashing badasses

 

Dunk tank all-stars

Stare at walls

 

Filet of Wish

 

Nine minus 7 irons

 

Corporate whores

 

Mall cop pricks

 

Illegal jaywalkers

 

Polka Pimps

 

Awkward Pause

 

Lost Bets

 

Weird Mike Happening

 

Bubble duel

 

Already Ate

 

Last party

 

Praise the Chords!

 

List of odd music jobs

 

Triangle Player

 

Agent for harp players

 

Record producer (What the hell does that mean anyway?)

 

SONG TITLES LIST

 

Psyched for beef tacos

 

Light that fart

 

Laugh at Fuckers

 

Chicken shit corporation

 

Attack morons

 

Tofu is murder

 

Genocide ain’t a good idea

 

Have some balls man!

 

Dash babies against stones- inspired by The Bible book Psalms

 

Kobe Bryant Blues

 

100 mill less than LeBron

 

Poorest planet

 

Kiss my stock portfolio

 

Move that mountain with faith con artist

 

Vegetarian propaganda

 

New Age music often blows

 

Healing powers my ass

 

Greetings from my head

 

Good to meet you Chucky

 

Glow in the dark lies

 

Hang more than ten

 

Hungover heroes

 

Intelligence not required

 

Illegal aliens should aim higher

 

I owe you money?

 

Cocaine is for winners

 

Pop songs murdered

 

Church bullshit

 

Invisible men don’t watch you

 

Create a disturbance

 

Churches should pay taxes

 

Reparations to humanity

 

Mistake riddled species

 

No time for shit

 

Bad advice to school kids

 

Bra stuffing

 

Bisexual animals

 

Rock star wills

 

What a crap book

 

Cool ass Spaghetti Western

 

Funny standup comic

 

Jump to more than conclusions

 

Jailhouse cock

 

Jilted lovers love ballads

 

Kill the Bible

 

Kentucky scares the hell out of me

 

Kite flying on a lazy war ship

 

Kriss Kross is still jumping

 

Mundane fall lineup

 

Wannabee TV exec

 

Biggest dick ever

 

Classic lust song

 

False messiahs are funny

 

Geography is bitchin!

 

Get smart stoopid!

 

Fox News is amazing

 

Grocery bill blues

 

Soul sistas unite for tea and crumpets

 

Ninja kicks politician

 

The Federal Reserve should die

 

Young Republicans are really sad

 

Live like an ant queen

 

Edit this scene

 

Improvising bastards

 

Too cruel for the stage

 

Perverts on parade

 

What’s the meaning of this?

 

When’s lunch?

 

Year long anniversary

 

ZZ bottom

 

Pro-choice for viruses

 

Random bag check my ass

 

Kill Mr. Mustard

 

Take a fucking chance

 

Evict billionaires

 

Full moon loony express

 

Mundane becomes funny

 

Shower solo

 

Dog barking better

 

Will you pay for this?

 

Dreams of beer and sitting around

 

Middle class bullshit

 

Bragging about so little

 

Sing your ass off

 

Fucking up is what we do

 

Companions are friends

 

Fifteen year old comedy sketch

 

Few like 1930’s jokes

 

Times have changed, you haven’t

 

Tacky beach towels

 

Good citizens don’t pay taxes

 

Ethics are better than religion

 

Elope the right way

 

Make jail fun

 

Car salesmen should die

 

TJ’s funnier than Leno

 

Cosmos is better than Price is Right

 

Marx Brothers got shit done

 

Babe Ruth isn’t a babe

 

I’m glad the emperor of Japan is no longer divine

 

Worship the one true God, KFC

 

Ugly people may be banned

 

I thought Hollywood was against ugly

 

Crude ideas

 

Morgan Freeman acted his ass off

 

Wow- Marlon Brando

 

AWOL from AWOL Patrol

 

Too inside reference song

 

The roof isn’t really on fire

 

Stop attacking my potatoes

 

Popularity is a dumb contest

 

Jesus isn’t watching

 

Hey dipshit

 

Win at bingo

 

Trademark this bitch

 

Humans are neat

 

Hell is meant for you

 

This bud’s for me

 

Losing your hair and mind

 

Agnostics can’t sell out

 

You seem to know nothing

 

Irish pubs are overrated

 

Craziest fuckers

 

Don’t take advice

 

Dance a jig Morty

 

Drink more loser

 

Drugs make life better

 

Don’t eat old fish

 

Long ago I was cool

 

Biblical death count

 

Hope I’m wittier before I die

 

Poker for fat white chumps

 

Milhouse is a part of us all

 

Angus Young’s also a rocking accountant

 

Give The Simpson’s another 20 years

 

Krusty is a hero

 

Green pens work best

 

Wacky neighbors attack

 

Community college ain’t so bad

 

I want a family with rhyming names

 

Bushy mustache neighbor

 

Same stupid green sweater

 

Scream like a little girl

 

Forgive me Satan

 

Call your Mother!

 

Court is hell

 

Finally not sucking

 

Title forgotten

 

Worth every penny, except when I was ripped off

 

Forts are fun

 

Hip cats to motherfuckers

 

Stop being such a pussy

 

Candyland champion

 

Chainsaws may cause damage

 

Dance semi-nude

 

V club membership revoked

 

Vote for no leaders

 

I just fucking swept

 

Win by competing with losers

 

I’d rather be immortal

 

Older than TIVO

 

Odors should be banned

 

Owe no one shit

 

Oak trees are liars

 

Represent my hood congressman

 

Variety is a crappy spice

 

Why is there a holy book?

 

Trucking all night long

 

Concept albums blow

 

Angels are bullshit

 

Age before ugly

 

T-ball strikeout

 

Blow me and everyone you love

 

Boldly go where only a few hundred have gone before

 

That’s my toe

 

Failure is an option

 

Sucky years in review

 

Try harder dipshit

 

Song titles are hard

 

Delights for flights

 

Devilishly delicious death ditties

 

Don’t say no

 

Free the ass, the mind will follow

 

Leave a mark better than skid marks

 

You’re nasty

 

Is it possible to rip yourself off?

 

Borscht Belt BARGAIN Blues

 

Diss the non-homies

 

Don’t we have enough songs?

 

Classy table cloth on a shitty table

 

No longer off pitch

 

The best ants mean little to us

 

Goodbye friends and pricks

 

Sell out for a muffin

 

If you want to be better

 

Key chains by Valdez

 

My crappy Taurus rocked

 

Testimony against humanity

 

We had a cola war?

 

Holidays are generally stupid

 

Church is over

 

Dress like Devo

You’ve been a fool

 Praise no Lord

 

End times still on delay

 

Boner patrol duty

 

Instrumental with lyrics

 

You don’t have to watch popular shit

 

Dare to be Intelligent

 

Stuck in a closet with Weird Al

 

Polka until you die

 

The glass is half-empty and half-full

 

Ridiculous list song

 

Mock the flavor of the week in song

 

My boner for you is like Waffle House, 24/7!

 

Life’s too short not to be funny

NON-COMEDY SONG TITLES

 

Fear is waiting kids

 

Not as good as Coltrane

 

Tough times Tim

 

Irate over interest loans

 

Useless genius

 

Calf strain blues

 

Mindless Republicans

 

Eat politicians

 

Death to Earth

 

Fight for a better planet

 

Trippin’ on Ringo

 

Falling into billions

 

Quench my thirst

 

Guilty as OJ

 

Question liars

 

Running away from bad health

 

Support things that are good

 

Refuse to give into the man

 

I have the titles

 

Now what?

Too much tide

 

I get square

 

Too young to take things seriously

 

Laugh at life

 

Nobody cares

Who ever heard of that?

Are you serious?

Temporary folks

 

I want to chill at the beach

 

Open school

 

Napkin express

 

Nothing you can do

 

Chasing a mild dream

 

Realistic dreams probably aren’t dreams

 

Sell no one out

 

Are you ovens on?

 

Obstructing justice

 

Lost track of time

 

End by reading

 

Advice for geniuses

 

Cut deficit spending

 

Creative visions implode

 

Death is bad

 

Get over yourself

 

Depend on no one

 

Don’t waste your time

 

You could be wrong

 

Tip your waitress

 

Bargain basement prices

 

Scalp those tickets

 

Living in Chicago

 

Living in Ohio

 

Living in Wyoming

 

Contemplate the universe

 

Tess is awesome

 

Lost a friend

 

I can’t believe

 

Fight to live

 

Police blotter

 

Plug your movie

 

We all have some ideas

 

Too few live well

 

Fear isn’t good

 

Random chaos

 

Time is never enough

 

Live to play

 

Fail more successfully

 

Don’t be smug

 

I never knew

 

Watch it junior

 

Fellow Americans

 

Smile at babes

 

Open daycare

 

There’s no way

Forging ahead

 

Regret of past

Non-expert opinion

 

Studied for years

 

Magic of life

Drink to forget

 

There’s no shame

 

I ate fried chicken

 

I ran with Blago

 

I saw OJ Mayo

 

Andy Dick crashed my girlfriend’s b-day

 

I saw Jeff Garlin live

Media darlings aren’t always great

 

Nervous get used

Template for success

 

Production company up rise

 

Know your place in the world

Advance better ideas

Practical for no one

 

Best ides tend to win

Float it by me

 

Time to die

Mention Red

 

Character actors

 

Bothered by West Jeff

 

Racism makes no sense

 

Illogical beliefs

 

How to avoid traps

Constant supervision

Can’t afford college

 

Not always good to be human

 

Discretionary income

 

Make clothes fit

No I in Israel

 

Why’d you lie?

How could I be so blind?

What do I want most?

A tough line of questioning

 

Resources are scarce

 

Shoot it now

 

Dedicated to money

 

Review of humanity

I’d like to travel

 

Time’s limited

 

Precious peaches

 

A girl in Cleveland

 

Grew up poor

 

Second City was odd

 

Took some risks and failed

 

I want an answer

 

Enable a better day

 

Float the mind

 

Decide now genius

 

Genies grant paltry wishes

 

Bark on doggie

 

Papers out of order

 

Molded for mundane

Prepare to be invaded

 

The struggles

 

Will it ever get better?

 

I quit before I lose

 

I quit while breaking even

 

Cancelling my own agenda

 

Reformat better than ever

 

I made a contribution

Proud of a little

 

Took a chance

 

For the loved ones

 

I surrender

 

New day, new bullshit

 

Pen is mightier than broken swords

 

End this charade

 

We have a lot to do before lunch

 

Advertising is a great evil

 

Dangerous corporate war

 

No excuses for your bullshit

 

Hate the haters

 

Splatter paint

 

Quotable movies

 

Not much left

 

Help the fellows

Gentle Gentiles

 

Reduce worry

 

Forget pretention

 

You had a good run

 

Laugh at Pete

 

Pretty pictures

 

Think now Einstein

 

Eat a pound of chocolate

 

Wear a t-shirt

 

Buy a house

 

Soccer hooligans

 

Joyous occasions

 

Systems of government

 

Buzz words

 

Can anyone win forever?

 

RAN DUMB

 

Ripping Off Original Sin                        

 

Cast iron piece of shit

 

Watchin’ footy

 

Golden Globe lifestyle

 

Award shows are meaningless

 

Manufactured cultural meaning

 

Dissidents dissed again

 

Shape up, don’t ship out

 

Mundane days

 

Wronged by judges

 

The Bible isn’t true

 

Swear on a book better than The Bible

 

Scissors handled safely

 

Juvenile genius

 

You can make money doing that?

 

Geeky accordion nerd becomes millionaire

 

How’d that honky learn to rap?

 

Booty Green existed

 

Trouble with nightclubs

 

Good times may not last

 

Beach Boys in a Pat Boone world

 

Pat Boone scares the hell out of me

 

Elvis wasn’t king

 

Luck be a lustful lady

 

Touched by more than angels

 

Late 90’s nostalgia junky

 

Why are alerts red?

 

Dabble in astrophysics

 

Judge coloring books by their cover

 

No need for a leader

 

Millions succeed and you don’t?

 

What’s the problem barkeep?

 

Get anything but a job

 

Topical humor gone rank

 

News show gone to hell

 

Mock superiors

 

Take advantage of oxygen

 

Seize the 16 hour work day

 

Cypress Hill was fucking cool

 

Save us transhumanists!

 

Aliens: Idiots or brilliant to avoid us?

 

Talk show hosts are needy

 

Wash your mouth out with me

 

Yoga on DVD

 

What a sick culture

 

Jot down thoughts, maybe they’ll care

 

Make a tiny, tiny difference

 

Lives are at steak- yeah steak, not stake

 

Pretty in all shades but pink

 

MC Escher to MC Hammer

 

Scottish beer company

 

I devoted my life to this?

 

Fucked up freedom

 

Love them or hate them?

 

Selling out, buying in, or bumming

 

Digging through rich people’s trash

 

If I sold my soul I’d be richer?

 

How to increase profits on selling your soul

 

Nawlin’s wilder than Vegas

 

Southern prejudice is funny

 

Canadians are so friendly

 

Hanging with missionaries

 

Feign interest

 

P. Hound you rock

 

Living in your head

 

Stay Away from Taco Hell

 

Clearly you misunderstand my violent outburst

 

I hate your beliefs

 

So wrong

 

I’d like to but a vowel

 

What to have for lunch?

 

Life Cycles

 

Peace movements fight back?

 

Know when to bow out

 

Clever on the spot

 

Familiar cultural references

 

O’ Jays Oh my

 

You’re not quite as much of an asshole as you think

 

Time to move on

 

Consider the artificial lilies

 

Dance in places safer than streets

 

Hectic lack of work schedule

 

Don’t sweat the bigger than planet Earth stuff

 

Etch a Sketch comedy sketch

 

Respect toll change collector

 

How’d you settle for this?

 

At least I tried to have joy

 

Go Southern Greek

 

I’d like to tell you about…

 

Thanks for life Ma

 

I like talking to Drew

 

Sitcom knowledge doesn’t always help

 

Sketch comedy gods

 

Improvise your life

 

Battle of the air bassoonists

 

Weirdest songs ever

 

Old timey reference

 

Missing the show

Front row tickets to spectacle

 

College laughs

 

Old pranks

 

Weber and the orange underwear

 

J scared swimming spectators

 

Kurt’s protected by angels

 

Consuelo’s logical

 

Ranting Doig

 

Marx’s pretty lashes

 

Matt O is studying again

Turkey dinner leftovers

 

Mad drive to Po’ Folks

 

What happened to my youth?

 

Stupid class

 

Dorm trash talk

 

I hope they get a meal

 

Champ of the late night underground wrestling

 

Rain by DAAP

 

Running for clarity

 

Quality Chinese soccer

 

Engineering is dull

 

Kenyon’s dunking

 

Cat face makeup

 

Paper cup escapade

 

Cinco De Fino

 

Tennessee wedding haircut

 

Arnold Palmer makes a great video game

 

All you can eat burgers

 

You bitch about free food?

 

Murrell’s vast CD collection

 

Orbit disappeared

 

Who will make it?

 

Get your degree dumbass

 

Smokin’ with Dials

 

Peters picked me up

 

I don’t know where I live

 

Drunk enough to forget

 

Time travel in Ohio

 

Another fucked up kid

 

Disturbing truths

 

Got to go to work

 

Please don’t AWOL

 

Third shift may kill you

 

West Side bar stories

 

This place is as good as any

 

Read another book

 

Virginia Beach road trip

 

Travel the globe

 

Surf Bondi

 

Soccer’s big here

 

Don’t forget Arian

 

Nearly a Welsh girl

 

Throat slit in Barca

 

Cuban women, good Lord

 

Sangria dreams

 

Cheap wine and expensive fries

 

Dancing in the park

 

Wacky morning DJ

 

Play the part of whoever

 

Acting is hard work

 

Cheech not Chong

 

Grin from ear to Jim Carrey

 

Kiss but don’t makeup

 

DeNiro’s still great

 

Morgan Freeman express

 

No butt for him

 

Media isn’t meant for this

 

Do me a favor

 

Cite the works of Pauly Shore

 

The Constitution can be amended

 

Much love bro

 

Tell Ma I said hey

 

Have a good day babe

 

Be more original than I love you

 

Love’s highly irrational

 

Tribute to everyone

 

Clip on bow tie

 

Just a footnote in time

 

Glory for Morey

 

Fuck me

 

Reality’s twisted

 

More mistakes

 

On cue

 

For the peeps

 

Mystery trip

 

Settle down you two

 

Frankly Frank’s frank

 

Shake the fist

 

So what if he sucks?

 

Diving ruins soccer

 

Cut from team

 

Endless production

 

Drama king

 

Blown speaker

 

Too imaginative

 

Years ahead of time

 

Nothing to say

 

Losing sleep

 

Healthy, not wealthy or wise

 

Lip gloss does no justice

 

Playing in Ohio

 

Years it took

 

Capital idea Chet

 

Nothing to dance about

 

Picasso was all right

 

Indifference of the world

 

My favorite groundskeeper

 

Skinner’s such a wiener

 

Martin Prince could kick your ass

 

Homer is my hero

 

To live like Homer

 

Homer went bowling

 

Middle class slob

 

Bald with gusto

 

Don’t hit on Maude

 

Doh is the word

 

Sold soul for cheap

 

What a crappy missionary

 

Pray before you’re judged

 

Homer’s been everywhere

 

Flanders served God

 

Judgmental as Ned

 

Physical comedy

 

Broken printer

Why give that focus?

 

Algebra serves no purpose

 

End up in detention

 

Made up language

 

Phone tag blues

 

Travel to new places

 

Bill Maher in a bull market

 

Contemplate no more

 

Scared to death

 

Flea bass

 

Supple bosom

 

Loose morality

 

Lie to me asshole

 

Never threaten cops

 

Don’t worry about bank robbers

 

Conspiracy theories build up

 

Lagging behind

 

Hip cat squared

 

My phony homie

 

Steal from Pac

 

Tacos are a man’s best friend

 

Too many cooks

 

Swear on Satanic Bible

 

Laugh at my friend

 

Go to your garden

 

Soup stories

 

Stone Soup commune

 

Passing by a historical sight

I saw Pearl Harbor

 

Trip with Pop

 

Road trip blues

 

Whistle test my ass

 

Dumb philosopher

 

You should want more than poetry

 

Book me tonight

 

Meaning of life

 

Laugh at family

 

Support the Proops

 

Fooled by the media

 

Get drunk again

 

Settle for beer

 

I could go for a year of vacation

 

Rats race less than most folks

 

Gossip about Duane

 

Allman’s were tough

 

Aspiring musician

 

Too old to give up?

 

Gave up before starting

Work for a reason

 

Spend time with fam

 

Japan could be cool

Learn a language

 

Talk the talk, never walk the walk

 

Until we get more money

Lines from old flicks

 

I married a buddy

 

Wedding in Florida

Jimi’s still the best

 

No one plays like that

 

Friendly skies no friendlier than the rest

 

Might fail

 

Avoid prison

 

Politics are evil

 

No one owes you

 

Boss of me is me

 

Jolly good bloke

 

Patronize arts

Delight in laugher

 

Fester’s growling

 

Endless Characters

 

What to do?

 

Finances control you

 

Pen clicking morons

 

Get royalties

 

Impose on others

 

There was magic

 

Ratty Wallet

 

Products from Thailand

The most exotic place

 

Rumble from Wheaton, Illinois

Why’d Belushi die?

 

Chevy Chase should have his own network

 

Aykroyd was classy

 

Garret Morris was underappreciated

 

70’s show musical guest

 

Make a sound now

 

After death blues

 

Some things are bothering

 

Troubles float away

 

Downtown Cleveland

 

Doubting too much

 

Ads for gruel

 

Living for pizza

 

I was happy

 

Too much cake

 

Gravy train ride’s over

 

Opinions matter, facts matter more

 

There’s a better life

 

Chasing after Mario

 

Games we play

 

Pop is right

 

Sabbath day rules

 

Company picnic

 

Settle for wishes

 

Ghosts in Chi-town

 

Living on the outside

 

Choosing to lose

 

Prove it!

 

Convey ideas

 

Nitty gritty

 

Non-sense

 

Seizing property

 

Cusp of being

 

Random sampling

 

Drastic change

 

Mediocrity and banality

 

Learn

 

Cruel side of life

 

Using fiction to demonstrate

 

That’d be frightening

 

Dangerous in real life

 

Declare constructively

 

NEW SHIT

 

Unwilling

 

Conditions of humanity

 

Bulk optimum

 

Pettiness into a warped project

 

Coordinate a trip to the moon

 

Contemporaries

 

Serious and introspective thoughts

 

End on the mend

 

End on the one

 

Pretend to end

 

Fuzzy computer

 

Risking

 

Never going to die

 

Find an idea

 

Getting funky yo

 

Starting rather small

Glory but no fame

Nobody cares for you

 

No way home

No way

 

Funny shit

Keep creating

Tiny in grand scheme

No time to die

Debt ain’t cool

 

Die with dignity

Choose differently

 

There’s no need

Fear isn’t a friend

Funky times were there

 

Trio of pleasures

 

Foggy night

 

Delicious snacks

Quit writing carp or crap

 

Dessert is the meaning of life

 

Sweet nectar

 

Never thought it’d be possible

 

Reference the Chaser

 

Hillsong Parody

 

Religious scumbags

 

Life should be a musical

 

Dance with Taylor

 

Confront your priest

Higher quality of life

Statistically awful

 

Low end furniture

Laugh at poverty

 

No choice but pain

 

Dentists are evil

 

Old age blues

 

Bitch about work

 

Support old funk

 

Amazing Museums

 

Trial size guilt

 

Fountain pen shuffle

 

Beg for billions

 

Idiots are growing

 

Logical putty

 

Too much bean

 

Third rate Fred Durst imitator

 

I insulted Heath Ledger

 

Get a watch fool

 

Fretting over nothing

Worried about death

 

For the love of fake God

 

Your breath is questionable

 

Pass the scotch

 

Cold ones for all

 

Boasting about nothing

Brag about houses

 

Interesting people

Repeat from earlier

 

Thematic link

 

Weird people rule

 

I only know losers

 

Spoon fed Christian boy

 

BBQ shredded and tasty

 

Foot long coneys ain’t what they used to be

 

Engineering library days

 

Greg was an odd boss

 

I slept while filing

 

Job tasks are often pointless

 

Kentucky has some liquor stores

 

Bluegrass could be better

 

Ben Franklin bust

 

Busted by civilians

 

For the love of lazy

 

Seashell surprise

 

The young will eat us

 

I love how Ma talks

Odd facial expression

 

Big humpy

 

Argue for money

 

Lose the tie

 

Bigs fade away too

 

Sickness of living

 

Ending a romance

 

What an obvious ploy

Phony dialogue

Is this who I think it is?

 

Odd to see folks get old

 

A life sentence always ends in death

 

Culture of twisted morality

Little makes sense

 

I never ate your yogurt

 

Battle with exes

 

Success is a mysterious woman

 

Balloons are worth their weight in old onions

 

I know telephone wires that work harder than you

 

Forgive my fuckin’ cousin

 

Better to be a black sheep in a white sweater world

 

Music doesn’t always make sense

 

It’s okay to love irrational things

 

Keep struggling

 

Worth a look

 

Juice bars are an odd concept

 

Chuck Berry is still kicking, right?

 

Don’t judge character with disco

 

Chicken wing envy

 

I love your sauce

Refer-eshing times

 

Clever pun titles

 

Get down with Dwight

 

Found Graham Crackers

 

So what if you failed?

 

What did you expect?

Change before they change you

 

Go for silver

 

Be realistic

 

Physical objects

 

Playing poker with buddies

 

I dug the 80’s

 

No plans for tonight

Ten years to read a book?

 

Alive or Dead?

 

Dollar store humor piece

 

Cover of Mad

 

Pay off bookie

 

Vote for non-politicians

 

Assume people don’t have time to read

 

Some people make me sick

 

Ole to you sir!

 

Grow up just a little bit

 

Brush them teeth boy

 

Greats like Frank still go

 

Mysterious stranger glances

 

Comic book panels

 

Old time crooner phrases

Ring a ding Joey

 

Still rockin’ in their sixties

 

No excuse for me

 

If Pete can do it, why not me?

 

Get moving tough guy

 

Don’t be perfect, be good

 

Good titles are easy, good songs aren’t

 

Brian Wilson changed things

 

Be more than nothing

 

Fear’s awful

 

Fear may be worse than death

 

Repeat listening

 

You have enough

 

The miracles from above

 

Yeah, they’ll ignore you

 

Greatness is upon us

 

Songs in the bank

Use what you’ve got

 

Tiger swimming champ

 

Retiring hero

 

Just getting started

 

I didn’t fight hard enough

 

Hope is a four letter word

 

Ponderosa was grand

 

Things obviously change

 

I liked that group

 

Rocking in chairs

 

Rude old man

 

Embrace change

Take another chance

 

The 80’s had some sitcoms

 

Little but rubbish

 

Facts on your side

 

Wheat is healthier

Everyone’s ending

Band the banned

 

It’d be funny to see

 

Choose death

 

I’m an accident

 

Don’t know how we got here

 

Tucked away in Columbus, Ohio

 

We need a baseball

 

Language barrier makes me laugh

 

Memories also fade

 

Trucking away on a lawnmower

 

Cat fight of a life time

 

Have to work again

 

Tree hugging bastards

 

Phone your only friend

Game shows left us

 

Broken printer

 

Snow flakes lazily fall

 

Sleeping girlfriend

Blessed are the sheik

 

I want sex

 

Crude success

 

I lose to Achy Breaky Heart

 

Popular doesn’t mean right

 

Maybe one day we’ll all agree

Enjoy right now

 

Mid-size range of life

Hitchens once said

 

Quote the immortals

 

Wisdom lives on

 

Stupidity’s rarely defeated

 

Dance before you leave

 

Sing before you go

 

Watch snow fall and beach waves

 

Guilty by nature

 

Born into awful families

 

Not always another chance

 

Jump off the bandwagon

 

Make the unusual choice

Improvisation mantra

 

Teachers taught me little

 

I learn by fucking up

 

Forgive me yet again

 

Yoga mind fuck

 

Something new for the kids

 

Bow out now

 

Decide on mantra

 

Into the unknown

 

I’d like to know

 

Pursue knowledge

 

A terrible advantage

 

Can’t capture every experience

Quote legends

 

Market like hell

 

Words are just that

 

Life’s a buffet, stop cleaning dishes and eat

 

Blue collar guy may win

 

No politician’s blue collar

 

Don’t know if that’s a word

 

Bob Barker made you a bitch too

 

Add humor

 

Life’s too short to golf

 

I spent time like an idiot

 

Open cupboard

 

Why does it have to be racial?

 

Lies scientists tell

 

Creationism isn’t a fact

 

Irish folk tunes are inconsistent

 

Fields are competitive

Death is tragic

 

150,000 every day

 

Figures for the mind

 

Re-negotiate a better life

 

Sequester a jury

 

I see poverty and riches

 

Here now

 

Silly phrases

 

Repeat viewing

Fame’s double edged

 

Failed too many times

Number of my lady

 

I had lots of interests

 

Grit teeth and bear arms

 

Hearsay evidence

 

Fish out of water comedy

 

Dancing at midnight

 

Memories beginning to fade

 

I tried to keep it but lost anyway

Computer clean

 

Clearance but no sale

 

Another tribe

 

A free ticket to somewhere

 

Never mention me

 

I’ll be forgotten, but so will you

 

Reward the blockbuster

 

Paid for by alimony

 

Too many problems

 

Don’t worry about everything

 

Science generation

 

Beg for bolo ties

 

Never enough crudity

 

Santorini was fabulous

Captured my life on film

 

Crazed fans need to die

 

Leave the world alone

 

Embarrassing fast dance

 

I was so lame

 

Wish I’d had courage

 

Uphill battle

 

For the love of the gym

 

The neurotic may win

 

Woody Allen fan club

 

Don’t count me in

 

Maybe death’s not so bad

 

I’d like to fly before I die

 

Dreams are sometimes kind of met

 

I’d kill for a chance to produce

 

Have non-psychotic hunger

 

Years of failure lead to better times

 

End insanity before it gets me

 

When will it end?

 

You won’t know when it’s over either

 

I already said goodbye

 

If I don’t see you again

 

At least say goodbye in an original way

 

I’d rather live instead of say bye

 

Live don’t leave

 

Guitar tuner came in handy

Tools are meant to be used

 

Regret weaknesses

 

Make new future old times

Pleasure may drive us nuts

Endorsing genocide isn’t the same as doing it

Time gone by

 

Still not sure

 

Won’t be a slave

 

Flock may be clueless

 

Random typing

 

Propaganda poverty and shackles

 

Injustice isn’t cool

 

Competing can drive one mad

 

Morbid candidate

 

Formats

 

News junkies

 

Atmospheres of ideology

 

Cleaning up

 

Sequential order and others

 

Die any time

 

Continue to question

 

Silly ideas and punch

 

Manipulated for gain

 

Bureaucrats own you

 

Young talented performer

 

Songs in the mind

 

Does tantric sex work?

 

Bad tasting fortune cookie

Authentic

Accord

 

Stop feeding lies to babies

 

New times are now

Growing rich from the blood of peasants

Wicked or smart to exploit others for gain?

Survival and bumming around

Giving free samples

Worth playing

Terrible ideas

Actress of solitude

Impressive resume achieved

Getting shit done quick

End the tires

You’re a hog

60’s tunes rocked

Different view

Youth slipping away

Took my time

Type faster

Time slipped away

Idiots praise invisible gods

Hesitant

Strangest sounds

Trying to equal

Generosity handed to me

Connect the dots

Hard nosed skeptics

Custom built ship

Quality in boldness

In a world where many

Live in bitterness

Quit bitching about

The state of the world

Do something to change it

If I don’t make

Conscious effort to change

I’ll fall back into old habits

Bowling is an absurd hobby

Softening blows sometimes

Prolongs inevitable pain

Times have changed

So have I 

I don’t think

Either one of us had a choice

Laughter for the happy is good

But laugher best serves

People who suffer

Design a classic architecture

Imagination

Doubt my work is perfect 

Commercial sensibilities

Ridiculous thoughts

Respect and honor

Budget time and resources

Guiltier pleasure

Memorize an entire

Relocate to a better time

Melodies can be made out of nearly anything

Best accordion band in the land

Awe and wonder

Sizeable options face prejudice

Non-mundane scenarios

Connect to the world

Great to others

Quite proud of what they’ve done

Machines do it better

Repeating creative value

Trust money

Wise men

Flawed people are evil

Nothing to note

Weird Dreams

I like Cheech and Chong

Funnier than Satan

We created the all-mighty Creator

Science proves no gods

In between phrase

I like hanging out

Soccer is fantastic

Tried not to suffer

Why do you live well?

Economic situations

Voyage around the world

Logical constructs

Limited time and experience

Going for bronze

Sleeping through life

Tired of being tired

Invitations to madness

Feeling insignificant

Powerless hour

Love is irrational

Oslo is a swinging town

Opening a business

For the love of deities

I’d like to forget

The pain never left

The greedy often win

Sacrificing years for a goal

Superstring theory

Theoretical physics

For the love of…

A new website

Make money doing right

Wars inside

Weird beliefs

Warehouse deals

Video game tribute

Movie night

I like the library

Fowl play- the birds attack

Hippie song based on a Bible verse

The sixties are long gone

Monthly subscription services

Love is a scam

Old guys make sense

Pop is hilarious

Ma was loving

Money goes to those who exploit

The reality zone

For little money

Science superior to scientology

Photograph so you don’t forget

Why don’t we get drunk and preach?

Know how to lie

Real tee

Know living

Ben Franklin blues

Bus the children

I wrote a novel

Writer for hire

Money making schemes

Buy more groceries

God tells you nothing

TV full of lies

I believe Ari Gold

Sitcom characters speak to me

Revelation from below

Hell in my mind

Write the damn book

Correct all wrongs

An old husband’s tale

The dirty napkin

I almost died

Cars can kill

Clip fingernails

Mundane trappings

Common experiences

Generous for what?

I lived for cheese

I don’t like threats

The desire for life

Sacrifice for this?

The total sum of parts

Exaggerations of life

Point of life

Get over the gold standard

Facts can’t be disputed

Olympic bans

Subway time faults

New mission

 

Filter messages

 

TV celebrities

 

Semi-appropriate remarks

 

Exceptional person

British train stations

Thinking for yourself

It takes bravery

The war of wages

Waging wage wars

Cheat with God

I’d like to believe you, but that’s stupid

The power of lust

I don’t need fake money

Folding laundry blues

Huckster faith school

Laugh at atheists

Reasonably good business practices

Quitters for Jesus

I hate the blues

Lust bus

Read a book fool

Prejudice is bullshit

Bad grammar

Shilling for bucks

Tribalism is racist

Viewer discretion is bullshit

Huge fan of life

Brotherhood’s lost

The proof isn’t in this pudding

What is surprising anymore?

Who’s this guy?

Ignored the media

Bumped into a fool

Spit on in Korea

The white of black

The role of the roll

As it is

Mingus-like isolationists

Created duties

Depressed failures

Learn something new

Budgeting time and money

Eddie Murphy is funny, Ben Bernake isn’t

Guy from Quaker Oats commercials

Religion’s a crock of shit

Options and choices

Ridiculous dialogue

Lobbying to freedom

Memorizing disasters 

Marketing genius

Gaining titles of honor

Literally no chance

Entitled performers